STOP WORRYING!

Well I wish I could (stop worrying that is).  I am an expert in this field and could give lessons, having been practising for a lifetime.  This page began as so many do with just a blank page and NO ideas ... so I follow the helpful advice that I once read somewhere to just write a single word on the page.  Guess what mine was?  It does work, and is often true that by using this technique you find out what is really on your mind, and what you most need to work through - sometimes with surprising results!

It won't come as a shock that the pen which jumped into my hand was the deep pink Promarker, and then I outlined the word with black to make it pop off the page more.  Another pink pen provided a background - at which point it was clear that this negative subject needed to be suffused with my favourite colour - which also works!  I do love this Stampotique face - she looks absolutely FRANTIC doesn't she, a particularly good fit with the subject matter.

After more writing I began to fill in the background some more and the doodly process began.  Because the writing is done with a waterproof pen I could probably (possibly?) have gone over it with the colour too, but it can still smear.  Its more reliable if you wait until another day when the ink is truly dry, but I rather like the effect of the white background.

Then of course it was time for the fiddly (my favourite) bits - and of course generally I can't bear to leave too much empty space - somehow its part of the process of working through something for me, that I haven't quite "done" the subject unless I've filled every available inch.

It will however be obvious to those of you who've been with me some time that this is a counsel of perfection - a life-long worrier like me won't be stopping the practice without a struggle.  I am working on it however, because it IS a waste of my strength, so now when I catch myself doing it I am trying to ask "can I change this situation"  or "is there anything I can actively do to make things better here"?  Much of the time the answer is no, so at that point I am trying to put my worries into God's hands and let Her deal with them .... and work on trusting that somehow, in ways I can't yet understand or see, things will work out for the best exactly as they are meant to.  I can't say that I've achieved zen like calm yet, but She and I are working on it together!  Let go, let God, as the saying goes ...

THE FIGHT AGAINST WORRY!

The challenge on Simon Says Stamp and Show was "one word", and I certainly knew what mine would be (see above).  OK so I sat myself down, delivered a good talking to and a stern reprimand, and ended up with a resolution to learn the lesson that worry is pointless.  If you can't change a situation all you can do is the best you can .... and that will have to be enough.  Right?  Anyway, of course I also journalled about it, as always, and sometimes I find the best thing to do when I need to get feelings down on paper is to start by writing the word you want to focus on in nice big letters on the page.  So I did, and then I coloured it a yummy shade of purple with my Promarkers.  At which point I felt better already!  Just acknowledging the problem (instead of incohate panicking) seems to work for me.

Then I used this Stampotique stamp of a frantic looking person to represent my frazzled self, and wrote down the key aspects of all this worry - the waste of time for starters!  Then as you can see below I wrote some more stuff, drew a few doodly flowers, and filled in the background with yet more Promarker.

At which point it looked sort of finished but then again not quite - so I went to down with the white and black pens, doodling away to my heart's content.  I can thoroughly recommend it as therapy for anxious persons - very calming!

So next time I post worried pages about this or that, you are at liberty to remind me of my promise to myself.  If God's in charge (and I really do hope and believe that she is) then its all in her hands anyway ..... and I just need to REMEMBER that!!

STUPID WORRYING PERSON

When I looked back I'd made a lot of journal pages about worry - obviously more of a preoccupation of mine that I'd previously realised.  Its not that I'm a control freak or anything (no really I'm not!) but I do like to be well organised and prepared for whatever is coming up - and sometimes you just can't see very far ahead.  That's when I start fretting and have to remind myself to stop.

As things have turned out I now have more than enough to worry about because my MIL who lives with us is ill, and caring for her is proving to be a helluva challenge .... We were ambushed by this happening out of the blue, but we are now trying to get Social Services involved to give us some help.  The really stupid thing is that in fact that wasn't what I was worried about here!  Duh, and will that teach me anything? It should, but it probably won't.

As usual (am still trying to love paint, but its not working so far) the background has been done with Caran d'Ache crayons, to which I added a dopey looking female and these typewriter stamps. I've had them for ages but hardly used them - what is it about such old fashioned looking letters that appeals?  I've got a computer font like this too, and use it a lot.  Maybe its because I learned to type on an old fashioned manual and still can't get over how wonderfully easy modern keyboards are to use?

Then I added a wobbly black line around the page, with what look like little cracks creeping in.  I do this quite a lot - it seems to define the page really effectively, or that could be just me trying to control stuff and keep it inside the box?

The final touches to what was a relatively simple page were a pointy finger stamp, some journalling and lots of doodling with white and black pens.  Hopefully whenever I leaf back through my journal I will encounter this page andl be reminded to stop worrying about whatever is on my mind at the time? 

Yeah right - is that the porcine squadron I hear passing overhead?