I actually made this page just before Himself's surgery, but looking at it today I feel exactly the same now that he's home and we are learning to cope on our own. Daughters have had to return to their own lives so its up to us now.
The beginnings of the page were, as usual, nothing fancy - just splodges of pink and orange craft acrylic paint. I was looking for something bold and bright, that said "you can't scare me" even if that was exactly how I felt/feel!
There has to be a face or something human on every page for me, so I adapted this face stamp to give her a more neutral expression (she normally looks a bit sinister). I added some petals as a sort of headdress, and a couple of pieces of collage.
What I needed to say came out of the word more - I looked at it and asked myself "more what"? The answer was more strength, because I didn't feel up to what was being asked of me. The serene face framed by flowers made me think of my (female) God ... and how I can never fall out of her hand, and I began to draw the flowing locks that I always include in images of her.
Then I just kept on drawing, finding it relaxing and peaceful, which helped me focus on promises like "I will not leave you" "I am always with you", until I felt wrapped around by her presence. I added the words that were on my heart and placed them in trust into her hands. I know very well that I can't do this on my own, but her strength can be sufficient for me.
Himself is doing very well and taking it easy at home to build up his strength. The problems lie in the fact that he is normally my carer, and now he can't do anything either! Our daughters have been here and helped out magnificently, particularly when it came to getting their non-driving mother to the hospital 20 odd miles away!!
Now I have to remember how to cook (a long time since I did), pace myself carefully so that I can keep the laundry going around, and so many other things that he made easy for me - how DOES someone who can't lift anything deal with changing the cat litter tray? Suggestions welcome!!
But we are safe in God's hands and holding on to the hope that he might even now be cancer free - test results on the lymph nodes in about six weeks.
2 comments:
Rosie it looks like your artwork is helping you. I do hope so. Love to you both xxx
Lovely to see your page developing along with your growing confidence in yourself and Herself (and hoping both you and She doesn't mind the nomenclature), as well as Himself's recovery. Continuing to think of you, as you find new ways of doing and being for a while ...
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