Thursday, 19 April 2012

PANICKING ....

The more I hear about the new Welfare Reform Act the more worried I get about the future, and I was on a Disability Forum where people were recounting their experiences of the new assessment procedure (which is producing THOUSANDS of appeals). I suddenly got the complete heebie jeebies - most of the time I try to be strong and positive, but on this occasion simply failed.

As ever, I turned to my journal to work out my feelings - this is a background done with Caran D'ache Neocolour crayons, and a spot of spray ink (which really didn't show up as well as I wanted). I added this little person from Stampotique to represent myself - because I was feeling at the time very small and scared. Normally I am taller, quite vocal and a bit stroppy ....
I got as far as the stage below when I just burst into tears, so there had to be an hiatus for a bit while my Significant Other provided the necessary hugs and such reassurance as was possible. After that I decided I could either let it scare the hell out of me, or just get on with life and fight back.
And that was when I wrote the words about not giving in to my fear, and that got me launched into more positive mode ... so much so that I stopped remembering to take pictures. However, making art was, as it always is for me, a really healing process, and this page allowed me time to work through my panic to a calmer place. I'm one of those people who is sensible and can cope 99% of the time, but then every now and again I lose my perspective and have a distinct wobble.
I've used a sunburst sort of stamp, but also added quite a lot of doodling - my absolute favourite thing to do at the moment! Its slightly mindless but I find that helps.

Anyway I'm probably worrying about nothing, but when it gets to be my turn for assessment I will be ready and willing to fight my corner if necessary, or bring up the Big Guns to appeal a negative decision. Sorry to bore you with all this - it just does me good to face my fears and part of me hopes that by doing so I might just help somebody else .....

I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR! Yes, well more like squeak in reality, but its a start!

10 comments:

Maureen said...

Not boring at all! You are truly gifted to be able to pour all that out onto a beautifully-decorated page. I love the way you just go with the flow... I am sure there are others who wish they could relieve some tension with this method too. I hope you don't think I am being uncaring by stating that I love this page, but really wish it wasn't borne of distress on your part, of course.

Cath Wilson said...

Stunning work - amazing how emotional turmoil can produce such a masterpiece! You have my sympathy - this government is hurting so many innocent people and in such an unfeeling way. Fibro isn't easy to live with and you can do without this additional stress! Will be thinking of you and praying x

alexa said...

Wonderfully authentic work, Rosie - and if I am not mistaken, that little figure is walking on water. :)

Sandra Hall said...

Rosie, your page is wonderful (distressing issue aside of course!) Its the reality of where you're at and has indeed produced a great page!
Big hugs x x x

thekathrynwheel said...

Yes, go ahead and roar! Your page is fabulous and I'm happy that it took you to a calmer place. I'm sure you will find the strength to fight when you need it. Don't let the b******* get you down! Love the colours of the page - you can work magic with neocolors!

Jane said...

As a fellow Fibromyalgia sufferer Rosie, I am right with you on the Welfare worries. I really am getting more concerned by the month about how it will effect me!
I followed your link here from UKStampers & I am so pleased I did, you have a fantastic blog!

creative space 247 said...

Thanks for sharing such a personal page and process.
Art journalling is great for giving us some time to work put our emotions. You produce really great pages.

gillyb's crafting blog said...

another one who is with you Rosie. My son's incapacity benefit is changing to a job seeking one (can't remember the name of it) - he had a P45 come through yesterday - I need to ring them to find out what the hell is going on - he cannot work ! I too am worried to death for him. Back to your BEAUTIFUL pages. as you know I love them.............keep them coming, love your bloggy too.

Brigitte aka Scrappassie said...

I think we're all in the same boat .... Sometimes I too think the name of that boat is 'Titanic' . In my country due to some very irresponsible 'leaders' we don't have a government at all, in the midst of a crisis affecting lots of hardworking people. Sometimes I freak out too, but that doesn't help me much and I understand your journaling in this page. Don't let the fear rule us! It is a wonderful thing that your jpurnal can help you through tough times. Thank you for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Hello Can i use one the art work on a poster to publicise an information event for my local community?