Tuesday, 31 October 2017


This page arose out of somebody telling me that I inspired them.  I was incredulous at first, I feel like I do so very little, but later began to feel awed and grateful.  As a full-time priest it was almost never given to me to know when or if I'd made a difference, but we often justify ourselves through our busy-ness.  In my present limited life where I can DO very little, I often feel more like a taker than a giver. 

I do try to do what I can, however little that is, and I began to see that that is enough, and not to feel guilty because I cannot do more.  The realities of my life mean that it will have to be enough, but nonetheless it helped me remember that what I can give - which is time and a listening ear - is of real value.

The background is yellow but looks greeny in some lights ... and as you can see below the light was very different when I began work to when I was finishing the page.  The grey collage I laid on top of the paint looks blue below, but that was in artificial light.
The following morning (in full daylight) I added some more collage pieces - the word Inspire was the prompt for the whole page.  As you can see I've just added random text and textures, and  I've also added a grey shadow around each piece, using a marker.
The picture of Frieda Kahlo found its place because she is one of my heroines - she lived in terrible pain from spinal injuries sustained in a car accident, and yet managed to be an icon for many women through her painting.

The words below are simply making a record of what I'd learned through this particular encounter - that doing what you can is actually enough.  Very often I forget that.
Its astonishing how much peace this has brought me - I suppose I've felt guilty for a long time that I couldn't do more, forgetting that sometimes presence and quietness can be a contribution in itself.
Rosie X

PS Lest I sound pious and self-satisfied ... you only have to look at my other pages to know how often I kick against my limitations, and hate the days when pain makes me cranky and horrible.  Peace is hard to come by and all the more valuable because of that.


Marylaure said...

Surtout ne culpabilise pas Rosie ! je suis abonnée à ton blog depuis quelques temps et ma première impression est restée : tu es quelqu'un de lumineux ! Ton courage et tes mots simples donnent à réfléchir et aident aussi... le peu que tu fais fait un bien immense !
Et aussi merci de partager tes techniques de mixed media !
Tu fais partie de ces gens sans manière, vrais, inspirants !
je suis contente de t'avoir "rencontrée"
je t'embrasse

Dawn said...

I think the guilt is sometimes worse than the pain and tiredness and overall bleurghness of fibro! Even after 12years+ I still feel lazy and instead should be running around like a headless chicken. But I think it's easy to forget that the energy taken to perform even the simplest of tasks is so much more than for a healthy person. I read on pinterest that they describe it in spoons (?). You have a certain number of spoons a day and if you borrow one from tomorrow, you won't have as many spoons the next day. If you borrow one from next day, you have less the next, and so on. You'll have to look it up, it makes more sense in the original!!
Anyway, lovely page as always, gentle hugs, Dawn xx

alexa said...

You are indeed inspiring! So glad to see this lovely gentle, restful page making it visible. And it's a message I really needed to hear today, when I can feel overwhelmed and inadequate to meeting all the needs around me. Thank-you :).