Thursday, 9 February 2017

MANY TEARS ...

I've reached an age where year on year I am saying goodbye to friends - breast cancer claimed one, an unexpected heart attack another.  Now two women who have been a huge influence on and a blessed part of my life over many years are slipping away from me.

I really wanted to make a page to celebrate them both but ended up in tears over my journal, so this is what happened.  I made a simple paint background in pink and blue, intending to say something about the blessings friendship brings ... but then I drew a black line on it.
 And out came the real feelings ... the tears I've shed for each when (more than once) it has looked like it was the end.  I also had to acknowledge that really the tears were for myself, and the great loss their passing will be, and the big hole it will leave in my life. I've prayed very very hard, and surrendered each of them into the hands of God, and so what will be will be, according to Her will and purpose.
But everyone knows that its very hard to lose friends - the people who are the family we choose for ourselves - and tears seem normal and right in the face of so great a loss.  Its also much much better to shed those tears, than to bottle up anger and sadness.
And in the end they are both such faithful servants of their God I have no doubt whatsoever that they will be received in heaven with much rejoicing.  So why am I crying?  Because I'll still be here, without them.    
And that's sad.

3 comments:

Monica said...

Goodbyes are always hard yet the memory of the friends, the laughs the tears is always with you. Yes getting old is very hard and it is not only people who leave us but skills and movements and sharp thoughts and the ability to change.

alexa said...

A very expressive page ... and yet the sadness seems soft and yielding too, in the delicate colours and shapes. A friend of ours died this week, a year older than us; your thoughts resonate very much with me. Holding you in my thoughts x.

Leslie Sharp said...

So very sorry for your losses.