Its probably reaction, but I really haven't been in good shape this last week. With Fibromyalgia, pain and its location is very variable. At best its all achey and drags you down a bit, at worst it puts you to bed unable to move. I've been somewhere in the middle, and yes I do think there's an element of being able to stop holding everything together now, and this is the collapse after the crisis, in the way some people get migraine after its all over.
Anyway, I was still working but slumped in a heap not exactly inspired or effective. Splodged a blue background with acrylic paint, and was cutting up a children's book bought for 50p at a car boot sale.
Then when I'd done a collaged border - the simplest way I know how to work - I outlined it using markers and a purplish shadow.
Then here I began to add bits of doodling and the word "pain", which I'd actually cut out of an old journal page I'd photocopied - its fun to recycle bits of your own work that way, though I almost always want to make it different in some way. I added a face to represent me hiding out behind the walls of pain. If you compare the collage elements above and below, you'll see how I've changed the patterns with doodling to make them truly my own.
After I'd added the writing, I went ahead and ruined it! I guess you know that feeling? I'd just run out of steam and rather hastily filled in the spaces with these zentangle doodles. I don't really like them at all, and even contemplated painting over them, but don't have the energy so it will have to stand.
And yes, before you ask, I'm still over the moon with the wonderful news that himself's cancer is basically GONE. Its almost too much to take in. I guess I'd just used up my reserves back there, and need time (and my journal) to build them back up again.
3 comments:
I am so happy that Husband is clear - what a wonderful blessing and I guess that all the pent-up emotions are now taking their toll - sending positive vibes that the pain will settle and allow you do what you would like to :) I love your Journal pages xx
maybe with himself sorted, you need your time, I like your zentangles, wish you much love and pain free xxx
Thst's such a powerful statement, your first one, Rosie. As someone who is coping with pain (at least mine is located in one place), I can't imagine the toll fibromyalgia must take; and I am full of admiration for your ability to journal, and draw and be nourished by it. (I like those zentangles myself - for me they say something about the squirmy knots of pain.)
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