I found this rather lovely lady in a book of black and white Victorian illustrations I bought, and I'd meant to do a page about looking back ... or even something to do with the life in retirement I HOPED we'd very soon be having.
So that's where I was mentally headed when I laid down simple paint and the image - I can't seem to manage or even contemplate creating anything very fancy at the moment! Too much happening what with getting ready to move in two weeks and Himself beginning chemotherapy for bladder cancer tomorrow.
A bit of collage in toning pinky/purple shades helped fill the page up a bit, and I added a black outline with a Posca paint pen and a grey shadow using a marker. Its amazing how much difference such a simple technique like that makes.
But then I veered away from thinking about what might have beenand decided to get a grip on myself, because this is no time for regretting the life we'd hoped to have, or even the one we're about to leave behind. The only way I can cope right now is by living in the present ... so I'm stamping hard on my tendency to look ahead and say "yes but what if" ....
"Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" - can't remember who said that but it works for me right now. So I'm working on taking life as it comes, one day at a time, and doing my damnedest to trust God for the future. I'm also trying to be mindful of and give thanks for the love and friendship that surrounds us, and the house is full of the flowers we've been sent!
Someone commented that they were amazed I could journal through this, but actually the truth is that without journalling I'm not sure I would get through it. This is my time out, space to reflect, a chance to scratch my creative itch, and it helps more than I can possibly say.
2 comments:
(It's Matthew 6:34). Sending warmest good wishes to Himself and to you for the treatment ahead, Rosie, and hoping that all goes well with the final preparations for moving too. It might have been me, thinking about how on earth do you manage to journal - I am still amazed :). Even though your lovely lady is looking over her shoulder, her gaze seems steady and calm, as if she might look forward again at any moment ...
Holding you both in prayer. Barbara xxxx
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