Sunday, 2 July 2017

HIDING ....

Fibromyalgia is a really strange illness with a host of symptoms you don't necessarily realise are part of it.  Something I experience, and thought was just a personality trait, turns out to be one of these and to have a name - Sensory Overload.  From time to time, and particularly if I'm tired, I become completely overwhelmed by sounds, people, conversation, and need to retreat and be quiet for a while.

I was in that place when I sat down to work in my journal - just me, in a quiet room (no music or talk radio) and my art materials. Sometimes the most I can do is make backgrounds, and I never really worry whether I like them or not because I'm going to work on top of them.

With this one I had some vague ideas about roses, so that's why I painted pink patches onto the orange page which I half intended to make into roses.
But that's not how things turned out - instead I used a technique I learned from Teesha Moore.  I've got a drawer filled with bits of paper cut out from all kinds of sources which contain interesting colours or patterns that take my fancy.  I cut shapes out of these, sometimes strips to make a border around the page, but here sort of 'U' shapes that I often think look like teeth or boulders!
I usually add to the pieces I use in some way so that they become mine, rather than just something from a magazine.  I draw patterns or embellish them to make them individual and unique, and mine.
Its quite a meditative process and I just allow it to take me wherever it will, and the words come unbidden ...
I was too tired to do a lot in the rather empty looking space above the figure - I couldn't think of anything brilliantly arty to do with it so just began making marks with a grey Copic pen.  I liked the result and did some more!

It seems strange to me that when I'm overloaded I should end up filling a page with colour and pattern, but somehow that is restful to my soul.  Perhaps its because I'm choosing to allow it to come out of my inner core rather than it assaulting me from outside?

Sorry I missed last week - I've been very tired lately and needed to take life gently.  Thanks for sticking with me.


6 comments:

jinxxxygirl said...

I often feel the same way Rosie and i DO think mine is a personality trait... No one around me understands.. except maybe my daughter who has often mentioned needing some 'Me' time... but what i think she really means is just a step back..so maybe its genetic...lol But a day out in the hustle and bustle of life can do it to me..or a get together or a party or... or... just anytime i have to talk alot or be engaged then i need a few hours to recharge my batteries...can i survive without it..sure... but then i notice i get short tempered and cranky... just give me a little me time and i can be my happy charming self and we will both be better for it.. :) Much love Rosie...love the artwork as always... deb

Dawn said...

I get it with my fibro too. When everything is just too loud- takes some doing with me as I live alone, hee. Other times I feel deaf as a post and things are just too quiet! xx

Monica said...

fatigue is part and parcel of Menieres Disease and after 44 years of it. I just lie down. When I create it is often in the silence of my room. You manage to make the horrendous work as a creative experience.
monica

Sarah Peck said...

Hi Rosie
I always love your wonderfully creative posts. I'm afraid that I rarely comment, but I truly appreciate every one of your pages. I always look on my own arty time as my healing time and I guess it may be the same for you too. Please don't ever think you're struggling through on your own. There are lots of us out here who really care and appreciate your talent, your story and the fact that you are sharing it. Big hug. Sarah

Sande said...

Your creation is fantastic as always. Oh, the joy of living with pain or a invisible medical issue. I feel for you as I know that very well and often just getting out of bed is a effort. Anything that involves me getting dressed and leaving the house wipes me out for the rest of the day and often the next. I also suffer from Sensory Overload and wish it on nobody.

I want you to know that you are not alone as we often think or feel we are. Thank you for all your creations and putting it out there for all of us to enjoy and drool over. Inspiration you are both as a person and as an artist. I am new to your blog and have spent hours on it so far...amazing. Hug to you and all the ladies that are hurting.

Mary said...

Hi Rosie, these last few pages are marvelous (as are all of yours, but i like these particularly) :) Grace and peace to you.