Saturday, 20 May 2017

DISAPPOINTED ...

It was hard to decide to put this page "out there", but eventually I felt like I had to.  These feelings are just as valid as any others I choose to make pages about and share.

I don't bother with electronic gadgets much while I'm on holiday, so when I got home I checked my blog ... and was sad to find just one comment.  Now I'm really not a comments junkie but when I realised I'd had 2,500 visitors of whom just one had bothered .... well I felt like giving up.  Probably tired and emotional after a long journey?  And yes, I know, 2,500 visitors is simply awesome, I had no idea it would be so many, and I am awed and grateful for that.

There is always comfort and solace in working in my journal, so inevitably that's what I did.  I'd wanted to use some of the images from this pictorial archive book for some time.  At last, a book I can cut up without a scrap of guilt!
When I was making mixed media pieces or artist trading cards I used to love working in a brown/cream vintage style, so I set out to make a page like that just because I wanted to.  Torn paper, all sorts of junk from the collage drawers, a few are scrapbook papers, even tissue paper.
I didn't know while making it what I was going to write about in the space I so carefully left, but inevitably my feelings of disappointment came to the surface.  However, almost immediately (as you can read) I gave myself a good talking to about why I'm here doing what I do.

I journal because I can't NOT do it - it is necessary therapy for me, and I can't not express myself this way, not to mention it being a joyful activity that brings light into my limited life.  I share my pages just because it feels right to take the risk of putting myself out there, and hoping the things I struggle with might help somebody else.  I DON'T do it so can I feel warm and fuzzy when people leave me nice comments, which occasionally they do, and it is lovely.  One or two have even got in touch by email to tell me that something I'd posted here had been important to them.  Its special to hear that, especially when journalling and blogging are both essentially solitary activities.

Haven't listened to myself I decided to behave like a grown up and just keep on keeping on, without expectation of praise or reward of any kind.
But encouragement?  Now that's an entirely different matter, and we all need some from time to time.  Including me.

11 comments:

artdamoiselle said...

Hey Rosie,

Like you, I have limited energy to engage with folks online, and also I often put people's backs up without meaning to, so I don't often comment on things I read. But I love your art, the way you share your process, and the things you have to say. Thank you for sharing with us.

- Abby

jinxxxygirl said...

Rosie you are on my blog roll and i always visit when you post something new but i do not always comment..... sometimes i just lurk......sometimes i'm in a hurry... sometimes i can thinkn of nothing to say that i haven't already told you time and again... how much i just love your artwork.. I need to remember to tell you more often because i like getting comments too...... you could come visit my blog.... its nice to reciprocate........ Arty hugs! deb

viv said...

Rosie, sorry I've not commented for a while. I look at your pages and think they are brilliant even if I haven't said anything

Sandra T said...

Dear Rosie . I'm signed up to receive updates but assumed ( wrongly!) that you'd be inundated with comments. I find your work inspiring and the sharing of your process is really helpful . I've learnt so much by looking at your techniques . I'm an abstract artist and love to learn so please keep sharing

Monica said...

In the past I was unable to comment on your blog and always assumed you did not want comments or had just a few people you wanted to hear from. your blog is perhaps the most sincere and inspirational on the web you express from somewhere deep inside. yes I read all of your blogs that come on my feed. Food for my soul.
Much love and gratitude.
Monica

Anonymous said...

Don't give up on us Rosie. I was really excited when I came across your work on Pinterest. I'm sorry I've enjoyed your work without letting you know. My bad (as all the cool kids seem to be saying these days) ☺ love and gentle hugs from Porthcawl. Rhian x

Anonymous said...

I didn't know I could comment - d'uh - I'm not very computer savvy! I LOVE your stuff and visit frequently. My husband has ME and we both go to church so I can often appreciate your comments. Please keep doing your stuff as I find it massively inspiring. xx

Rosie said...

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time ... I was having one of those "everything is pointless, I'm wasting my time days. Jet lag and tiredness undoubtedly. I need very little encouragement since journalling is what I love and HAVE to do. The blogging part is optional, so every now and then its nice to know someone appreciates it.

Mary Evans said...

Brilliant blog post Rosie.......I'm guilty as charged!! :(

I find your work VERY inspirtational and come back time and again to look at your work, however, I very rarely leave you a comment and for no good reason!! I will make a valiant effort to leave comments on all the blogs I visit from now and thanks for the reminder!

Meanwhile please, please keep up your wonderful work as it is very much appreciated by me and, I'm sure, lots more people too.

Mary xxxx

Artyjen said...

Not been around much as Blogger does not react seamlessly with apple devices! It's not as easy to comment as it used to be for me.....perhaps others are having similar problems? xoxo

Anonymous said...

Your work is one of my favorites, and I'm not talking about bookmarking as a favorite. I am challenged to just draw stick figures on a blank page. How you show photos of your progress is very inspiring. I love reading what you blog about because it is as if I'm sitting there, listening while you talk. It is nice getting to know you.

I appreciate how you try not to be perfect. I am a first born, and it is one of my constant problems. I hope some day to be open as you are. Thank you for sharing & also, thank you for letting you be you. <3 <3 <3

Liz