A friend reportedly said something which hurt me. I know it wasn't intentional and I chose to see it for what it was - a moment's idiotic lapse. We all have those don't we, including me. But stupidly the words kept going around in my head, and I realised that I needed to work harder to let them go. Making a journal page about it was one way of doing that.
Its no coincidence that I started to paint the page green - a colour I really like a lot (I have green eyes) but when I use it in my journal I never seem to like the result! I even brushed some gesso over the top because I wasn't keen on it.
So then, because I'm very colour co-ordinated as a rule and didn't want to make an all green page, I added some bits of collage which introduced a secondary colour - orange in this case. Some of these pieces were cut out of a John Lewis (big department store) catalogue, and the bark was from a children's story book I cut up.
My pages always have to have a face or an eye or something human, so another Modigliani lady made an appearance, and once again I added a grey shadow and some black outlining and doodling.
I had the black (Posca paint pen 0.7) pen in my hand, and for some reason I just began to draw wormholes. I think they're there because the feelings I was trying to get down (and out) were tangled and complicated....
The final form of the words I needed to say came last on this occasion ... and it helped a lot to get them on the page. I finished it off with some more doodling, but kept this soft using only grey and white. Am still not 100% sure I like it, but the page did what I needed to do in terms of setting aside negative feelings and determinedly concentrating on the positive aspects of a friendship which is important to me.
Its easy to say words about forgiveness but store up the injury in your heart, until it ends up poisoning YOU. Anyway, as a believer I know I have to lay things like this down. So I did. Still, its all a bit GREEN isn't it??!
6 comments:
I just love your blog! It's so real!! Love your style and how you explain your process. I'm not a new art journaler but still benefit hearing about your process.
Thanks for this, Rosie. I have a friend who always says to give such words or incidents a colour and then flush them down the sink. I'm always surprised how well this works. But I have pages which have done the job as well.
Thanks for this, Rosie. I have a friend who always says to give such words or incidents a colour and then flush them down the sink. I'm always surprised how well this works. But I have pages which have done the job as well.
Hi Rosie, sorry to hear about the friend I bet she could have bit back the words when she realised. Sending you lots of love xxx
The green and grey combination really works for me, and it reflects the thoughts beautifully - positive yet serious. Thanks for sharing it.
love and prayers, Barbara x
As a lover of green, Rosie, it's not too green for me :). But I notice the little pops of colour, so it feels as if some part of you is well on the way to letting her remark go! I am not sure how much we can ever forget - but letting go of actively holding onto something is sometimes as good as it gets for me! I love those wormy lines - I thought they looked quite tree-like or twisted shrubbish. (Is that a word?).
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