Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Don't look back ....


I should begin by saying that I don't actually like this page ....it was heading in the right direction but then I spoiled it by over-decorating.  I don't care though because on this occasion its the message to myself that really matters.  Come to think of it, my sermons are a bit the same!

I quite liked it at this early stage - painted background again, you can't say I lack perseverance can you?  I may have mentioned that I'm not a huge fan of paint.  The page is these colours because I was picking them up from this wonderful image which I absolutely LOVE.  The slightly wistful look, the doubt in her eyes, the way she seems to be turning back and asking "is this OK"?  Well that's what it says to me anyway ...
And that's what made me write these words - because I know I have a dreadful tendency to look back and wish that I'd made different decisions, but I also know that's a completely pointless exercise.  What's done is done and can't be changed, but you can learn from both positive and (particularly) negative experiences.  Most of all I refuse to endlessly rehearse what I could or should have done differently.  I will not be defined by the difficulties of my early life, or the fact that it took me so long to develop emotional intelligence - what matters is that I worked at it and got there in the end.
Then this was where it all began to go wrong as I drew wierd splodges - they remind me of lava lamps back in my distant youth, and in the same way these are pointless blobs which (in my eyes at least) add nothing to the page.  The one on the top right even looks like some sort of green octopus!  Where the heck did that come from?
I knew it wasn't right but thought a bit of doodling would fix it.  It didn't.  Hey ho.  I wanted to share both the important message which reminds me to stop wallowing, but also to let you know that just like everybody else I can make horrible pages that I don't like (we all do) but still feel comfortable leaving them in place because they also have their place in the journal. In the same way some of the pages of my life are not ones I'm proud of, they aren't pretty, but like it or not they were and are signposts on the way to something better.
In a funny sort of way this page actually works, because I'm not distracted from the core message by pretty stuff I really like.

Its really important to my journey that I don't allow the past drag me down or hold me back, but to build on both good and bad something better and more beautiful,  always working towards becoming the person I am meant to be....  That'll be a Work In Progress then!


PS
I found this on Pinterest. I think this is what all the rambling above is trying to say .....

6 comments:

Carol Q said...

I love this image too Rosie. Gorgeous journal page. Funnily enough it's one of my big things - not looking back so I totally empathise.

Mary Evans said...

I love your blog Rosie and especially your journal pages (good or bad!!) One of my 'failings' is looking back with regret at things I've done in my life....I am currently trying to break the habit.

viv said...

It is very hard not to look back but I have tried to avoid if onlys as my mum used to do that and she was a born pessimist. We all have pasts to grow from we need to try to be positive about it.

alexa said...

Wonderful colours - I always admire the depth you create. Am I the only one who sees the foamy waves and the sea? Though you did mention a green octopus, Rosie ... I have to confess to have just done a little googling on the symbolism of the octopus and it all sounds good :).

Giulietta said...


I think the octopus just swam onto the page to remind us how much the past - in all its various events and situations - can reach out with its tentacles and trap us.
Which is why we need this message from you Rosie.maybe some of us more than others.
Many thanks.

Linda Vincent said...

I really like this page....over the top is fine by me. The more the better! Totally agree with the message as well.....xx