NO TIME FOR REGRETS ....

 

I found this rather lovely lady in a book of black and white Victorian illustrations I bought, and I'd meant to do a page about looking back ... or even something to do with the life in retirement I HOPED we'd very soon be having.

So that's where I was mentally headed when I laid down simple paint and the image - I can't seem to manage or even contemplate creating anything very fancy at the moment!  Too much happening what with getting ready to move in two weeks and Himself beginning chemotherapy for bladder cancer tomorrow.

A bit of collage in toning pinky/purple shades helped fill the page up a bit, and I added a black outline with a Posca paint pen and a grey shadow using a marker.  Its amazing how much difference such a simple technique like that makes.

But then I veered away from thinking about what might have beenand decided to get a grip on myself, because this is no time for regretting the life we'd hoped to have, or even the one we're about to leave behind.  The only way I can cope right now is by living in the present ... so I'm stamping hard on my tendency to look ahead and say "yes but what if" ....

"Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" - can't remember who said that but it works for me right now.  So I'm working on taking life as it comes, one day at a time, and doing my damnedest to trust God for the future.  I'm also trying to be mindful of and give thanks for the love and friendship that surrounds us, and the house is full of the flowers we've been sent!

Someone commented that they were amazed I could journal through this, but actually the truth is that without journalling I'm not sure I would get through it.  This is my time out, space to reflect, a chance to scratch my creative itch, and it helps more than I can possibly say.

I CAN GET THROUGH THIS!

 

This is the message I need to affirm to myself right now, so what's an art journaller to do but make a page out of it?  Sorry these pictures are a little bit dark - that's what the weather has been like here lately.

I'm not up to making complicated pages right now, but then again who says they have to be?  This is a simple coat of lime green paint over gesso, and then I grabbed my "blue" drawer of collage materials ....  That's how I organise my stuff - I have a set of shallow drawers on wheels and I have labelled them by colour, including neutrals, then words and people.  It works pretty well but is still something of a work in progress.  When I have time or am short of energy or inspiration I grab some magazines etc from the pile on the floor and rip out things I like, cut out shapes and file them in my various drawers.

I suppose there was probably a reason why I chose the lime green, but don't ask me what.  I only know I couldn't manage pink and red at the time.  Anyway blue and green is my favourite colour combination.  Below you can see how I added a grey shadow around the collage elements, and some lettering ...

The last stage was to  complete the lettering and then tackle the very plain background.  I wanted to keep it subtle so as not to detract from the main message, so simple circles with white and grey did the trick.

This is something of a mission statement - I've certainly gone back to look at this page several times this past week.  It does serve to remind me that all things pass, even the worst of times.  Not sure why I chose the bottles at the lower edge, but I assure you I've not turned to drink or anything like that!!

We are moving in 3 weeks and are almost ready for that to happen, and Himself begins chemotherapy in about 10 days.  Even with the help of amazing friends whose offers of help have been nothing less than heroic its not going to be easy, but with God's Grace we can do it - at least on the other side lies retirement and relative calm from which to approach the rest of the treatment.