DO WHAT YOU CAN ....

This page arose out of somebody telling me that I inspired them.  I was incredulous at first, I feel like I do so very little, but later began to feel awed and grateful.  As a full-time priest it was almost never given to me to know when or if I'd made a difference, but we often justify ourselves through our busy-ness.  In my present limited life where I can DO very little, I often feel more like a taker than a giver. 

I do try to do what I can, however little that is, and I began to see that that is enough, and not to feel guilty because I cannot do more.  The realities of my life mean that it will have to be enough, but nonetheless it helped me remember that what I can give - which is time and a listening ear - is of real value.

The background is yellow but looks greeny in some lights ... and as you can see below the light was very different when I began work to when I was finishing the page.  The grey collage I laid on top of the paint looks blue below, but that was in artificial light.

The following morning (in full daylight) I added some more collage pieces - the word Inspire was the prompt for the whole page.  As you can see I've just added random text and textures, and  I've also added a grey shadow around each piece, using a marker.

The picture of Frieda Kahlo found its place because she is one of my heroines - she lived in terrible pain from spinal injuries sustained in a car accident, and yet managed to be an icon for many women through her painting.

The words below are simply making a record of what I'd learned through this particular encounter - that doing what you can is actually enough.  Very often I forget that.

Its astonishing how much peace this has brought me - I suppose I've felt guilty for a long time that I couldn't do more, forgetting that sometimes presence and quietness can be a contribution in itself.
Love
Rosie X

PS Lest I sound pious and self-satisfied ... you only have to look at my other pages to know how often I kick against my limitations, and hate the days when pain makes me cranky and horrible.  Peace is hard to come by and all the more valuable because of that.

DO WHAT YOU CAN ....

This is a slightly unusual journal entry for me - I was working on the reverse of a page where inks had bled through, so I used an offcut of Basic Grey paper.  I must have been in scrapbook mode because I added these bits and pieces somewhat in that style.  Its good to explore different ways of working isn't it, and I do have to confess to loving brownish grungey vintagey work ... which was where this was headed.

I'd put the numbers because my original idea was for a page to do with counting the days of my life and making them all count, but somehow it didn't turn out like that!  Ever had that happen?  It does to me, a LOT, or maybe I'm just an easily distracted airhead?  Perfectly possible ...

Anyway, as you can see I ended up writing "do what you can" on this page.  I didn't mean to but this is what popped out, and I always go with that feeling.  If something wants to come out its better to let it, right?  Go with the flow as they say.

And in the end it turned into a relatively simple page - I hardly doodled on it at all (not like me) but it didn't seem to need it.

Of course the woman in the window represents me - always looking out for the next thing (and worrying about it), and forgetting to live fully in the present.  That's the message to myself - you don't have to wait for circumstances to be exactly right; just have a go, dive in anyway!!

Haven't quite worked out what the numbers represent - maybe waiting (wasted) time when I could have been getting on with it?