REST AND RESTORE

Everyone needs to pace themselves - and its particularly important for me, but you know what?  I never learn, and if I feel good I try and do too much.  Hey ho - anyone else think they're bomb-proof and the rules don't actually apply to them?  Welcome to the club ....

Anyway, this means that I frequently have to remind myself that my energy (mental and physical) is limited, and that means sometimes I just have to take time out.  It applies to everybody really.  So I made myself this reminder ...

Its another Caran d'ache crayon background, and my new favourite colour combination of pink and orange. 

 Again you can see how my lettering starts off as quite simple lines, and then I go back over each letter and thicken it, adding curly accents.  I'm no calligrapher but it works for me!

I do worry a lot about "letting people down" so when I have to say no, or back out of something, I always feel bad about it.  This was one of those days.

And then you can see how much fun I had fiddling about and doodling.  The Uniball Signo white pen is absolutely the BEST - I get through dozens of them (and am not being paid by them to say so)!!

Sorry I don't have much to write about this - I'm about as tired as I was when I made the page, all sorts of stress, not to mention going on holiday Tuesday 28th and having to organise not just ourselves but animals and mother in law (going into respite care) as well.  I'll be a stretcher case by the time I get on that plane!  Back on the 12th September, and will post again once my brain catches up from the jet lag ....

INSIDE MY HEAD ....

Funny what goes on inside your head really - well it is in mine, and I am easily distracted so I've often thought that a print-out of my thoughts might be completely baffling ... anyway, to make this sound posher I shall be calling it "stream of consciousness".  That makes my thought processes seem like something worthy of scientific study dunnit?

You've probably guessed anyway that this page came about because I had no idea what to journal about, so just started to write down the things going on in there - not much as you will see!  Making this background I'd wanted to get away from the usual stripes and layers, and came up with this amoebic pattern, using my favourite Caran d'ache crayons.  The result looked a bit like one of those illustrations of germs or whatever circulating in the bloodstream, and for some reason that led onto brain - anyway, to cut a long story short I wrote the words "inside my head" and that was it .... again you can see how I begin with very simple letters and then build them up and embellish them with my black pen.

I began by writing down on a piece of scrap the various odd things which were floating around my grey cells, and decided it was all worryingly random, so wrote that down as well!  I like this Stampotique face stamp and often use it to represent myself - its the slightly manic look on her face that does it, that and her short hair.

 

And from there on I just let rip and wrote and doodled until it was "done".  The blobby shapes (done with Promarkers) that I added to fill up some space also look quite amoebic don't they - not sure what a psychiatrist would make of the doings of my subconscious!

I think this scientifically proves without room for argument that I am indeed suffering from Menopausal brain death, inability to concentrate, and total lack of focus.  There may even be holes where parts of my brain used to be.  However, since I seem to be stuck in this condition I will simply have to beg your pardon for my random ramblings.  Its your own fault for coming around here!

My darling grand-daughters have been to stay but have now gone home again, and I am afraid I breathed a huge sigh of relief even as a shed a tear at their departure.  Honestly, I'm too old for this kind of thing, and was beginning to twitch when I heard the interrogative "granny?" for the umpteenth time as I hid in the downstairs toilet for a few moments of peace ...

ACCEPTANCE ....

I do make an effort to try new techniques and materials ... though isn't it funny how some things simply don't FEEL right, as if they don't belong to you??  Just me then?  Anyway, I have a love/hate relationship with gesso - I love what I can do with it, but hate the chalky feeling.  I'm also a bit peculiar about tearing up books, even when they're complete nonsense like this one purchased at a car boot sale and entitled "children of the archbishop"!!  You can see why I couldn't resist buying it ....

 So there I was determined to be brave so I tore up text pages and stuck then on randomly (also not like me) and gessoed over the top - a breakthrough!  I disliked it intensely at this stage but was hopeful that it would improve.  You can see below that it did, with the application of paint (with which I also have a cool relationship) - I watered it down quite a bit so that you could still see the text through the colours.

So I had this OK(ish) sort of page that I wasn't liking all that much, and I didn't know what to write on it.  I have a box of clippings from magazines, newspapers and all kinds of stuff - so I started dragging out words that spoke to me, and this is what happened ....

I'd grab a word or phrase and stick it down, and then it would tell me what the next bit was, and so on, and all this stuff came out that I didn't know was in there let alone needed to get out!  Oh the power of journalling!

If I'd known what I was doing at the time I might not have done it all in such straight lines, but what the heck.  I am a known and unreconstructed straightist - I can't help it.  You may also notice that Pollyanna has been around here again (quite an annoying person at times) but you have to talk yourself into positive thinking somehow, right?

Am not particularly enjoying the Olympics (I don't do sport) but its impossible not to get somewhat caught up in it all, and I was so chuffed for Andy Murray yesterday.  Have got my two older grand-daughters staying (aged 7 and 5) which is a distinct challenge for a person of limited energy.  Fortunately for me they are currently out at the supermarket with Grandpa "helping" him do the shopping!!  They may be gone some time .....