STILL ALIVE OUT HERE ...

Well, we shoved all our furniture and stuff (so MUCH of it, I'm embarrassed to have so many worldly possessions!) and headed north. After 5 days we're beginning to emerge from a sea of boxes, although in terms of the Studio it is most definitely a case of trying to squeeze a quart into a pint pot. One day I just wanted to cry because I figured a large amount of it would have to go, but when I looked I simply couldn't spare any of it!! Anyway, things are looking better now although there's still a long way to go, but more of that later - I have been taking pictures and promise to reveal all shortly.

This post is really just to restore my (flagging) sanity, and to share the Truth Cards I made in the last few days before the move when I couldn't really settle to anything more ambitious ....
And yes - they are ATC sized (which is 2.5 x 3.5") but mainly because I happened to have a lot of card cut in that size, but you could make them any size that works for you! I used to LOVE making ATCs anyway, and I get to keep these which is even better!

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS ....

And if that's true, I'm not too sure where mine is right now! The old home is in the process of being dismantled, and before too long we'll be in a new (much smaller) one, which will have both advantages and disadvantages ... Unsurprisingly, all my uncertain feelings about this have found their way onto a journal page.
The background is another of my experiments with masks and inky sprays, and the houses are from a Dyan Reaveley collage sheet. I've been working on the principle that "home is where your stuff is" and the assumption that when the stuff goes somewhere else that will very quickly become "home", with all its connotations of safety and sanctuary. There seems to be a small corner of me that isn't too sure about all this, but I'm working on it! Think I'm just too tired and stressed (OK I admit it, pretty cranky really) to be thinking straight right now.
BUT I am excited by the prospect of a new life in a new place, with all the possibilities it might offer, its just that right now there's too much negative stuff in the form of painful goodbyes and basically wrecking and dismantling what has been a much loved family home.
Crumbs this is all sounding like a distinct note of self pity. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN! Hmmm doesn't that sound like a prompt for a new page ....? Did I pack my crayons yet??

ITS GETTING EXCITING NOW ...

This is the room which will become my new Studio when we move. I didn't like the (grubby) old carpet and although I do like yellow it doesn't go with pink does it? Anyway, see below for the new improved Studio, complete with new flooring - I wanted laminate but could only afford posh lino, though it looks GREAT! It now boasts spotty pink curtains and once I get my new white Ikea furniture in there I'm hoping it will all come together. Since I have to rest a lot, this will be where I spend the greater part of my time. Not sure about the Ikea spotlights either ... maybe I can find a sparkly chandelier when the sales are on??
After much deliberation I had the walls painted white - which may seem boring but I've got so much pink stuff anything else might have been overkill! Am debating whether to paint the shelving white too - there's lots more of it not shown in this photo. More pictures to follow in a couple of weeks after I get there!

SANITY - ITS PROBABLY OVER-RATED ...

In my defence I should point out that most people who are moving house in a little over two weeks are entitled to be slightly on the cranky side - and I was/am, though I am trying to work on that. Bear with me if you can. Anyway, we share our home with my Mother in Law and she is a dear really, its just sometimes ..... and she said something which really, REALLY got up my nose. Either that or everything just got on top of me, but this page is the result of my earnest attempts not to kill somebody.
I did very well - leaving the room sharpish before any bad words could be said, counting to 9 million etc, and I came upstairs to my studio and worked on this instead of looking for a blunt instrument. Its just so therapeutic this journalling lark, by the time I'd finished the page all my anger and frustration had dissipated and I was giggling again. Haven't had any murderous thoughts towards any of my nearest and dearest for at least 3 days now, which under the circumstances probably constitutes high achievement. I'm still alive too, despite probably not deserving to be, which tells its own tale about the forbearance of my family ....
I made the background for this page a couple of weeks back - more of my leftover scrapbook papers. Once I began to work on it I used quite a bit of paint and doodling, and a number of collaged or stamped images, and you can probably see how my pages just sort of grow and develop without any real plan. That's what I love best about this mixed-media lark, is that you can just throw whatever you've got at the page, and it all seems to work out somehow.
I ought to mention here one of my few claims to fame - and not many people can say this - is that I do actually have a certificate to prove that I'm sane (or was). It was given to me when they let me OUT of the psychiatric unit some years back. What evidence can most of us provide that we're basically of sound mind?? Answers on a postcard please ....

AMO, AMAS, AMAT IT AGAIN ....

Wouldn't care to tell you how long ago it was that I learned Latin .... but to my amazement I can still decline this one verb in all its tenses! It was obviously lesson one and nothing else thereafter managed to stick. Anyway, this is a journal page I made on a base of Basic Grey paper - love that stuff. It concerns the Soul Restoration course I recently completed - which was so powerful that I wanted to be sure I remembered all the things I learned.
I suppose what I've written is pretty much self-explanatory, though not necessarily the idea of sending toxic people in your life to the moon? I liked that part - and the lunar surface now has a number of new inhabitants sent there from the darkest corners of my life! Send yours there too, still masses of room left.
I also loved the message which told us to "go where the peace is". Such a simple statement yet very powerful, so that's how I'm trying to live from now on. Even in the midst of getting ready to move house it still seems to work - there's almost always a peaceful corner to hide out in for a while ....

WELL YOU SAID YOU LIKED THEM ....

You did seem to like the others, so here are a few more Truth Cards - did I mention that I'd made quite a few?? The one at bottom left seems to be a universal truth, at least from the way people respond to it. Funny because it's one of the hardest for me, but maybe that's universal too?

Tired today so am going to treat myself (when I should be doing other stuff) to a couple of hours making some more this afternoon. I find it very relaxing somehow, plus its a way to really affirm that these things are true - somehow it goes into my poor old brain better this way. I keep a sheet of paper on which I write down words I want to use, and then every so often I make another batch. There's a lot of real wisdom out there and how is a girl (even a brave one) to remember all this good stuff otherwise?

TRUTH CARDS

Some of you may have noticed that I've recently been doing the Soul Restoration course from the Brave Girls Club? Its meant a lot to me, especially at a time in my life when - preparing to move and start over - I've been thinking a lot about the things I want to take with me or leave behind. Anyway, one of the things the course asked us to do was make Truth Cards, something we could keep to remind ourselves of all the things we've been learning, or already know to be true but so easily forget. This suggestion was a complete gift to somebody who adored making ATCs but could never find enough people to swap with, and besides this way I get to keep what I make!!

So above and below are just a few of the ones I've made so far - the course materials provided some that you could cut out, and I have used a few of these, but mostly I've come up with my own. The result is that these reveal a LOT about me, but I wanted to share because I've found this exercise very very helpful, and its something you might want to do for yourself?
Not only does the act of making the cards and affirming my truths make me feel peaceful, strong and happy, but I now like to get them out regularly and read through them. That's definitely a brilliant tool for remembering the important things that I didn't have before. I made a special box to keep them in, but haven't shown it here because its just a temporary one. Some day I'm going to make a very beautiful box for them, which will show just how important these little cards are (they're ATC size of course), but right now I just don't have time - or a suitable box!

READ THE INSTRUCTIONS ...

This is a page background I made a while ago while experimenting with masks and sprays, and then I included a new-found material - Japanese Washi tapes! That pale blue spotty stuff in fact and its like masking tape but decorative, it comes in all kinds of colours and designs, and you can write on it too! What's not to like? Expect to see more bits of tape on future journal pages ...

So anyway, I was actually having one of those "omigod I can't do this, its all too much" days (I'm sure you have them too) and was getting close to full-blown panic mode. Then I sat down and talked myself out of it by making this page of instructions for use at such moments .....
You see I KNOW all this stuff, of course I do, its just that I forget and have to be reminded. Lots of Teesha Moore images here - I love her funky bright style, and it always cheers me up, which was after all the object of the exercise. Why does working through something in your journal really help to resolve your feelings on the subjectt? I can't explain it, but only know that it DOES.
And this is how it finally worked out. With the benefit of hindsight and perspective I can see that I was worrying about not very much, but at the time I was feeling completely overwhelmed. We move in 5 weeks and that's lots of time isn't it? Keep telling me that.

BIG SPLODGY AND PINK!

Well what's not to like about that? Right now I need to focus on positive emotions, so even if February is really kind of dark and gloomy ... I decided my calendar pages needed to be cheerful and fun, so pink it is! The first thing I did was splash some pink acrylic paint about - which was deeply satisfying, then I went for my lovely water soluble crayons in purples and lilac.

Then of course I needed to indicate the month in some way, and not wanting to be too predictable I stamped it in the middle rather than at the top. Oooh you little radical you! Well you've got to break out a bit, haven't you, and anyway I've been told I'm getting a bit set in my ways. Putting titles in the middle rather than at the top is just the first step in the process ...
I've got a 1 1/4" square punch which came in very handy for the next bit - when I dived into my scrap paper box in search of pinks and purples, and the odd bit of black. Its very therapeutic to just crunch away with the punch before arranging the results until you're happy with them.
I even had room for a few illustrations as well, and chose to use some gorgeous images from Artchix. I love Helga's muse, this quirky lady who turns up in so many of her images, she makes me laugh every time, and the Artchix collage sheets are just fabulous, I use them a lot. Now all I have to do is make sure I keep up with filling the days in ...
And just in case you're wondering, yes I did manage January and here it is! The Artchix lady features heavily here too, I notice, wonder if she's trying to tell me something??

SEEDS OF CHANGE ...

You know, I didn't think of myself as an inflexible person, or particularly set in my ways (although my daughters will tell you that I absolutely HAVE to sit in 'my' chair in the living room, and get quite uncomfortable if I can't)!! On the other hand, our forthcoming move has jolted me in all sorts of unexpected ways, leaving me with mixed feelings about what is, on the whole, a really positive relocation back north for us as a family. Obviously, these feelings are finding their way into my journalling, as I try to figure out where this sense of resistance is coming from.

This page started with a wash of dilute acrylic paint, after which I squirted some inky sprays at the page. I discovered quite by accident that this works best if you let the page background dry first - why did nobody mention that? Anyway, I really like the effects that this gives. Then I laid down my title and my first few thoughts on the subject. I can't remember why I felt moved to add some blotches of greenish paint, I just sort of did ...
I got a bit stuck once I'd finished the writing; I knew it needed something but couldn't figure out what. For once I didn't want to do lots more journalling and fill up every corner! Somehow this was all I wanted/needed to say. Anyhow, there I was searching through my stamp catalogue - which sounds rather grand but is only a ring binder with a sample of each of my stamps - when I came across these seed head stamps, and in a flash of light I saw that they were exactly what would complete the page .
This was relatively quick and easy to put together - I did it all in one afternoon - and yet I'm really pleased with it because it captures exactly the feelings I needed to set down. Reflecting on it now, I'm reminded of that old saying "do not adjust your set, there is a fault in reality"! The problem seems to be that I need to adjust my attitudes and really get my head around living a new life in a new place. Wish me luck with that ....

IT WASN'T ME .... well it was really!

If you're not a comfort eater then stop reading right here because this will make no sense to you whatsoever! Confession time, when I'm stressed I tend to hit the biscuits (that's cookies to you transatlantic sisters) and just one simply won't do - it has to be half a packet, a seriously major sugar hit. It feels good at the time but of course there's the inevitable disgust at what a pig I've just been. I like to tackle my failings head on so I thought a journal page was called for. Background is Basic Gray paper, and I had some fun making a border out of scraps and bits.
Drawing the biscuits was fun (Promarkers came in handy there) I started with acrylic paint and added detail gradually. If you're interested (and you are aren't you?) the biscuits in question were those ones from the Co-op in a black box, triple chocolate cookies. They're not bad but the hazelnut ones from the same range are even better. Anyway, I ate rather a lot of these but was in denial on the whole subject ...
Anyway, eventually I faced my demons and beat them down, and like I said - there are worse things to do when stressed aren't there? I could have been unkind to people I love, or kicked the cat, or drowned myself in alcohol ... but all I did was scoff cookies like a famine was about to start. Who cares anyway?

And did it help at all? Well no, apart from a momentary distraction and an energy rush from the sugar, not at all really. Will I do it again? Oh yes, almost certainly .... wouldn't you?

MESSING ABOUT ... WITH MASKS

Having (for once) some spare time from curtain making and move planning, I decided to get out some stuff I hadn't had a chance to play with .... namely the new spray inks I got for Christmas and some masks I'd had in the bottom of a box since Adam was a lad! This latter was partly prompted by my resolution not to pack or move anything I don't use ... which means I have to play with stuff to establish whether I really want it or not. Hmmm, think the jury may still be out on this one....
It's dead easy to do of course - just stick the masks anywhere you fancy, protect the surrounding area, get out the sprays and let rip! I do quite like the effect once I peeled off the masks but can't say that it exactly blew me away. Maybe I have to try journalling over the results to see what I really think?
Anyway, thought I'd share these early experiments in case there's somebody out there who, like me, hasn't explored the possibilities of these yet? Like I say, I'm unconvinced right now but will suspend judgement until I've played a bit more .... so watch this space.