I wasn't sure whether to share this page because its a bit of a moan-fest. However, since that is authentically how I was feeling I suppose you dear reader have to take the rough with the smooth?
I didn't set out to make a miserable journal entry. I'd seen these colours together in a piece of aboriginal art and thought how nice they were. So below you can see how I basically copied the basics onto the page and then set out to make it my own.
At this point it was all acrylic paint, but when I got to the dots (also on the original inspiration piece) I changed over to Posca paint pens.
And it was then that the first signs of gloom and despondency appeared on the warm glowing shades against the black. The little figure is a stamp and once I'd put it down, without thinking about it, I drew a grey cloud over her/my head ... and began to know where it was going. Adding quite jolly bits of collage and pattern didn't get me off the negative track either ...
So I went with it and the writing spilled out ... but as ever it seemed to help and lighten the load a bit. It did at least make me acknowledge to myself that I was feeling a mixture of anger and hopelessness. For some reason I'd had this idea that, having been crippled by one difficult to treat illness meant I wouldn't be visited by anything else. I was wrong about that.
What's been making me feel so low is being diagnosed with yet another painful and wearying illness alongside the Fibromyalgia. Yep, I really needed that like a hole in the head. For a while I just couldn't integrate and accept what I was being told about the unusual form of arthritis I've now developed, but I'm working on it. I'll get there. Writing down positive affirmations seems to help just as much as getting out negative feelings, and now I've found a quote which helps and which might well form the basis of my next page...
6 comments:
Another great page! Hey, let it out what's the point of keeping it all in? Art journals are supposed to be where you can do what you want, so don't worry about it. I am loving the colours and the big circles. Great stuff xx
Best to get things out instead of holding them in. Share what you're feeling... you're human along with the rest of us and I appreciate you sharing the good and the bad with your readers. Hang in there!
I love the aboriginal influence - something I might have to try. I am sorry to hear about the diagnosis - I myself have epilepsy, but hang in there and we will get there in the end. Thank you for your pages.
The ability to express yourself in art is incredible. What a gift. Life is full of unwanted pain as we get older. Your management skills are very refined.
monica
I'm so very sorry that you've received bad news and I hope that the outlet of your art is helping with the feelings washing over you. My hopes and prayers are for you to get better.
I am sad to read this :(. And I should think you are quite entitled to stand in the rain and feel miserable for a while. Sometimes, life absolutely sucks. What is so amazing is that you can express yourself so beautifully in the midst of it, wet boots and all.
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