Feeling like a DRONE ....

 

I think the text is probably self-explanatory here!  It really was one of those days when I felt like a person who was putting nothing in, and just taking from the rest of the world.  I get like that sometimes, I guess a lot of us do?  Anyway, my way of dealing with such moments is to journal about it and try to work through it.

But it should be obvious why I began by laying down a dull shade of flat beige paint, and adding even more around the edges in the form of washi tape - these are Tim Holtz I think?  I do actually like these colours that I think of as "vintage", and it was an interesting exercise to work in such a monochrome palette.

I really love this stamp of a rather glum looking person, I've had it for ages but she comes out regularly.   I think its by Teesha Moore, and of course she was perfect to encapsulate the negative mood I was in!  The black edge really seemed to add something at this stage, and was achieved by simply dragging the thick end of a promarker fairly roughly around the borders of the tape, with no attempt at my usual tidiness.

This page is in two halves I suppose - you can see the first half below, where I simply put down the way I was feeling.  Just stating how you feel is therapeutic in itself - recognition and acknowledgement of what's actually going on inside you is powerful, and the first step to challenging negative emotions and asking yourself what the truth is.  We all make statements about ourselves (I'm useless, nobody will ever love me, I'm not good at that, etc etc) which simply may not be true and should be challenged.  A psychologist I once worked with used to ask me "where is the EVIDENCE for that"?  In other words, what can you bring to validate your assertion that you're useless waste of space or a drone?  Very often there actually isn't any.

So that's where the second half of the exercise came in - recognising that there actually wasn't a lot of evidence for this assertion.  In fact it became clear as I thought about how I spend my time that, even though I may not leave the house as much as other people, nonetheless I'm not sitting here doing nothing ... but actually striving in my own way to make a difference and share the things I learn.

And then it turned out that I WAS making a real contribution (OK maybe not with the singing) and that the world might even be a better place because of things I do?  Well, I'd like to think so, and it IS what I aim for ... with varying degrees of success.

The lettering as always is done by starting with a simple shape, as you can see in picture 3, and then gradually adding thickness and curving edges.  The white makes quite a strong addition too, and like I say I do actually rather like this (admittedly dull) palette of colours.  And I felt a whole lot pinker when I'd done this .... which is after all the whole point of the exercise!

If you have days like this - give it a try?  You might even end up feeling better, and even if you don't you'll have got something off your chest!