DARK CLOUDS ....

I wasn't going to publish this page, out of a wish not to depress people who might be experiencing their own dark clouds.  However, when I thought it through it came to me that feelings like these are just part of life, and everyone has them from time to time.  What matters is only that we do find a way, and we CAN carry on ....

The weather at the time was dark and miserable, and my mood does fluctuate with the light.  It wasn't my original intention to make any kind of gloomy page - I just like purple!  So I splodged down some lilac paint, and began to collage over it.

Then I began drawing, making "connections" between the elements on the page, as well as adding outlines and shadows.  Joining things up does matter to me, because I do believe that nothing and nobody exists other than in relationship to someone or something ... and its a source of constant amazement and joy to me to discover unexpected connections.  God sees all the pieces of the puzzle and knows what she's doing.

I got to the stage below (photographed later in the day when the light wasn't very good) and then got completely STUCK.  I'd left this space in the middle to write in but had no idea what words belonged there.

So I set the page aside and worked on other things.  Then one morning I limped into the studio ... and there was the journal open at this page.  I literally sat down and immediately, without thinking about it, wrote these words.

But (as my granny used to say) "better out than in".   I learned painfully a long time ago that bottling up negative feelings is really REALLY bad for you, so I don't.  The journals have always been a way to look into my soul and find out what's going on in there that I won't always admit, even to myself.

Even the act of writing the words down helped to lift my spirits and I am pleased to report that my present mood is one of unrelieved optimism, but then again the sun is currently shining ...

Autumn ....

I am returned from sunny climes, but for some reason the jet lag absolutely clobbered me this time, so I'm still catching myself up and feeling dazed and confused.

Anyway, perhaps with the echo of the sunshine still in my mind, I painted this page a golden yellow - which was then given texture by blotting the wet paint with a wet wipe.  Hunting around in my collage I found a sheet of pumpkin images ... and with multi coloured autumn leaves blowing past my window, my subject was provided!

Below you can see the effect of my usual technique of outlining the images in black and adding a shadow.  The leaves were made using a rubber stamp I've had for around 20 years - one of the most useful I've ever bought, but horribly fiddly to cut out.  At this stage I suddenly noticed that I'd missed the "n" off Autumn and panicked.  However, I put a coat of gesso over most of the "m", then painted the gold/yellow over the top, and finally drew the letters in smaller.  There are few mistakes that gesso can't fix!

So there you are, my own particular ode to Autumn, which while beautiful is actually a bit of a shock to the system after temperatures topping 90 degrees when we were away.  The shops were still full of pumpkins but we were in the USA.

I DO love this time of year, and it felt good to record and take time to enjoy that.  Am I the only one whose thoughts turn ahead to Christmas even this early?  I've already got preparations in hand ... but that comes from having very little money when our children were young, so that we absolutely had to spread the cost of it all from September onwards.
Yours dazedly
Rosie X