FEAR CAN HOLD YOU BACK ...

I've been sitting in the garden a lot because we have a heatwave at the moment - an uncommon event in northern England, so I feel bound to make the most of it!  However, I have done a little bit of journal work and this is the result.

Determined to address my tendency to work in shades of a single colour, I ruthlessly painted my background in not one, but three different colours!  I know.  Had to have a sit down after that.

Now I LOVE red and black so I grabbed black and white collage elements from my neutrals drawer and just pasted away, as you can see below.  You can also see the difference between the collaged page on the right, and the one on the left with black lines and grey shadows added.  It really makes a difference when you do this.

The reference to "brave girls" is because I've been a long-time member of the Brave Girls Club - google it if that sounds like something you should be part of!  For me, it is often about challenging myself to do things which make me nervous, or will hurt ... so its been difficult when in recent weeks two different friends who don't know each other have told me off (nicely) for not getting out of the house enough.  I've had to admit to myself that part of it is a fear of going out alone - as a wheelchair user I often feel very vulnerable, and anyway why wouldn't I prefer to go out with my Beloved instead?  A corner of my brain is also asking if they might have a point ...

I'm still working on that thought and whether its something I should take action on... do I have to?  Do I need to?  Is it worth the energy?

While engaged in this ongoing process I finished the page off with my usual doodles and drawings.  I still don't know the answers to the question, but a large part of me is going "so what"?  Is it actually compulsory to leave my lovely home and studio by myself?  Now is that fear talking, or me being pragmatic and sensible ... not sure yet.

INNER CHILD ....

This was one of those pages that just "happened" because I sat down to play without any particular thoughts in my head.  That's normal for me, and its fascinating to see what comes out of my subconscious.


First I laid down a quick and easy painted background of lime green with a slightly darker green brushed on top, and then it was out with the collage scraps drawer.  OK yes, because the background was green guess which colour I went for?  I really must cure myself of thinking in terms of just one shade .... weird habit.

My pages never look much to write home about in their early stages, as you can see above.  But when I start to draw on them and add shadows it all begins to make more sense as the disparate elements join up into a whole.  I found this lovely swimsuit lady in my stash and she just seemed to belong there.  A spot of zentangle doodling crept in too.  Still no idea where I was going, but following the process is the fun part.

Then it stayed at the stage above for a whole day because I hadn't a clue what I wanted or needed to write on the page.  That's OK, sometimes (but not often) I never do figure it out and the page stays unfinished.

Then a day later I walked past the open journal and noticed that my female figure was wearing what I saw as Big Pants (OK a swimsuit really).  That set all sorts of mental hares running around "putting your big girl pants on" ... which in turn reminded me of the times when its a struggle to speak and behave like an adult, when your inner child is shouting "no, don't want to" or something very similar.

So that's what the page is about - see, I knew some inspiration would turn up. 

There's quite a big of stamping on this page - I usually just cut out patterns and images that take my fancy, but lately I've started cutting out scraps of plain coloured paper that I can stamp on, as in the green circle my figure is standing on.  I also used some stamps in the background spaces once the page was more or less finished.

As ever, if you have any questions about what I use or how I work feel free to ask in the comments and I will always answer.
Rosie X

TRY NOT TO CARE (TOO MUCH) ....

I thought I'd already put up this post, but Blogger seems to have eaten it, so here we go again.  I haven't been journalling very much while we've been having lovely weather up here in northern England (untypical I assure you).  I've been doing a lot of day-dreaming in the garden, so forgive me if I don't always have anything to show you.


As always, the simplest of painted backgrounds, just two colours of blue acrylic scuffled around with a wet wipe.  I'm now concerned about my use of these and looking into alternatives - don't want to contribute to an ocean full of them, and apparently they take eons to degrade.  Might have to use real fabric scraps instead? 

Then I pasted all all sorts of blue bits and pieces together to make a border.  These are just free found items from catalogues and magazines, which make great






I wanted to put the pictures above and below side by side so you could see the difference adding a subtle shadow around the elements can make, but Blogger wouldn't let me.

I read a statement not long ago which impressed me, and it was something to the effect that we waste too much time worrying what others think about us, and what we should do is set our own standards and try and live to them without explanation or apology.

As somebody who wasted a lot of my early life being a people pleaser and worrying what they thought about me, I so wish I'd learned earlier that being authentically true to yourself (and in my case to God) are all you can do.  I've always tried to treat others in the way I'd like to be treated, but if someone else makes judgements about me because of this I shouldn't let it change me or the standards I try to live by.

I know what I mean but I'm not sure I've explained it very well.  The sunshine and the garden are calling me away ...
Rosie X