INSIDE ...

 

You know how many of us experience a dissonance between the person we are (or would like to be) inside, and what actually happens in real life?  Yeah, that.  Anyway, you'd think in my six decades I've have got this sussed, and I have ... just not all the time.  Anyway, that's where this page is coming from.

As ever, just an easy yellow painted background and then my (lazy) technique of doing a collaged border around the page.  This is what I do when I can't think of anything else, or don't have the energy.

Then below you see the finished border with black lines and grey shadows added, which makes a huge difference.  A bit more collage too - notably this Modigliani redhead.  I love his portraits and can use them freely without infringement of copyright :)

Then as usual the writing - which starts as very simple lettering and then I go back and add fancy bits.  Practice a bit on a piece of paper - I promise you its easy.  I try never to write in straight lines and mix up capitals and lower case, then I don't have to worry about staying straight or whatever!

After that comes my favourite part - the doodling in the spaces!  I just draw happily with my Posca Paint pens until it looks finished.

My feisty inner self is allowed to say what she thinks freely and clearly.  In reality, as a Priest you have to be a peacemaker who is always pouring oil on troubled waters, trying not to take sides etc etc .... but inside you're often thinking "will you just shut up and go away"?

This becomes so ingrained that even now I'm retired its still hard to stand my ground, and say NO, or I can't go along with that.  I am working on it but .... well its a work in progress, and so am I.

JOURNALS AND MORE JOURNALS ...

Not much to say today having just returned from a 400+ mile round trip to see daughters and grand-daughters.  Pretty much done in, so have nothing to share ... but thought I would show you the journal I've just finished below .... which is no.13 ... see the shelf above!

And below is the new one I have just begun to work in - I'm amazed to find that it is my 14th.  The first was begun in August 2010, so its been quite a journey. I don't date my pages but I do write a start and finish date in each book - I get through one journal in about 9 months as a rule.  Once it was only six months, but it has been over a year at one stage.  It brings me such joy that I can't imagine not doing it at all.

The shelf they sit on is right above my workspace and computer, and I often reach up and randomly take one down ... its fascinating to see how my style has changed and the things now past that I struggled with at the time.  They are all spiral bound and I love to tie ribbons and little bits and pieces, charms and souvenirs, to the bindings.  No.14 will get more decorations once its finished - too many at this stage would make it difficult to work in.  My first 8 journals were A5 but since then I've been working in 8 x 8 square books which adds a surprising amount of usable space.  I glue two pages together for strength, so they are all double sided, but I only rarely do double page spreads.

Sorry I don't have more energy for the blog right now, but the grand-daughters ate it.  Normal service will be resumed eventually.

DON'T GIVE UP ...

 

I don't really have to explain what this page is about, do I?  Yes, it was one of those days when it all seems pointless, why are you even bothering, etc etc.  So what else would I do to talk myself out of that place but make a journal page!  I'd already tried crying my eyes out, but it gave me a headache.

I often say that my backgrounds are just simple, and here is a picture to prove this - just a scribbly mess of two shades of blue acrylic paint.

Then I added some border pieces of collage and drew the poor soul peeping out at the bottom.  Yes she is me - it was, after all, a Bad Day. 

Lots more collage below - I love that process, just rummaging through my stash for bits and pieces that seem to fit.  If you look at the bottom right I've begun to add the black outline which (oddly enough) always seems to unify the whole from a random assortment of stuff into a fully thought-out page.

As you can see below I continued to add the black outlines and also a grey shadow, which really makes a big difference.  The positive affirmations are obvious really - just the ones that spoke to me at the time ... and perhaps also speak to you if you too are stumbling around in the darkness?  I hope so anyway.  This is a page for any day any of us feel like giving up.

And it worked, it pretty much always does, losing myself in the creative process never fails to lift my spirits.  Possibly I was just being a wimp?  Never mind, wimps are people too right?  The light DOES still shine in the darkness but I need to remind myself sometimes ....