MAKING A DIFFERENCE ...

  

This is a deceptively simple page using one of my favourite colour combinations.  As you can see below it began with a simple coat of lime green paint - just the ordinary craft kind.  Next I drew some curvy lines with two colours of purple Posca paint pens, then I just began to doodle around the edges, adding a white wavy line, and a checked strip over the lime green.

I added the Modigliani lady having copied the image in black and white, and used a Promarker to give her some pink cheeks and altered her eyes to give her a slightly less anxious expression!  Then I couldn't resist adding yet more layers to the frame - I was just having FUN.

You can also see above the difference a grey shadow makes - I added this one with a Promarker.  The text is about how much I hope I can make some kind of positive difference in the world.  I like to think I can - and being mostly at home I do have TIME to listen to people who need that.  But sometimes I doubt myself and feel like I'm just a waste of space .... so this page was about affirming for myself that my life has real meaning and purpose and does make a difference, to someone somewhere, sometimes.

Then a bit more doodling, and little collage to fill some gaps, and it was done.  Sorry this is just a short post, I'm particularly tired at the moment so its more of a lie on the sofa kind of day .... and I have an art journalling magazine to take with me!

BE AT PEACE ...

 

With this page I was determined to use some different colours to my usual - looking back my journal is a riot of pink and purple, with orange, red and occasionally lime green or blue.  So the first thing I did was pick up a bottle of this deep gold paint "Caramel Corn" is what the label says - such a lovely name!

So anyway, below is my starting point with gold paint and a border of warm brown.  I think of these as "bumble bee" colours, there's something warm, fuzzy and comforting about them!

I've recently reorganized my collage stuff by colour in a tall trolley of flat drawers - so I went into the one containing orange/brown/gold and pulled out all kinds of bits and pieces.  This system is working so much better for me.  You can see below that I just cut curving shapes and stuck them around the edges - some of the pieces are from a rather shiny children's book page, so I had some reflection problems with the photo.

Then below is almost exactly the same stage of work, except for the fact that I've added a soft brown shadow around the edges (using Pan Pastels) and a strong black outline.  I've also added some bits of doodling and a couple more images.

In the final view you can see that I made changes to the figure, giving her different hand-drawn eyes. Its important for copyright reasons to always alter what you use from magazines etc.  You'll see that I generally cut out shapes and colours that appeal to me, rather than recognisable images, and then  try to doodle on top so that they become "mine".

Then it was onto the message of the page, which was about finding peace in a situation where its how I think about things that will make it possible to get through.  In other words I needed to calm down and think positive!  I do love how peaceful and serene this girl looks, and I like to think that the little gold bird is telling her "everything is going to be fine"

Sorry this is a little bit later than usual - we had a slightly mad weekend and I never got around to posting until now!

WORDS HURT ....

 

A friend reportedly said something which hurt me.  I know it wasn't intentional and I chose to see it for what it was - a moment's idiotic lapse.  We all have those don't we, including me.  But stupidly the words kept going around in my head, and I realised that I needed to work harder to let them go. Making a journal page about it was one way of doing that.

Its no coincidence that I started to paint the page green - a colour I really like a lot (I have green eyes) but when I use it in my journal I never seem to like the result!  I even brushed some gesso over the top because I wasn't keen on it.

So then, because I'm very colour co-ordinated as a rule and didn't want to make an all green page, I added some bits of collage which introduced a secondary colour - orange in this case.  Some of these pieces were cut out of a John Lewis (big department store) catalogue, and the bark was from a children's story book I cut up.

My pages always have to have a face or an eye or something human, so another Modigliani lady made an appearance, and once again I added a grey shadow and some black outlining and doodling.

I had the black (Posca paint pen 0.7) pen in my hand, and for some reason I just began to draw wormholes.  I think they're there because the feelings I was trying to get down (and out) were tangled and complicated....

The final form of the words I needed to say came last on this occasion ... and it helped a lot to get them on the page.  I finished it off with some more doodling, but kept this soft using only grey and white.  Am still not 100% sure I like it, but the page did what I needed to do in terms of setting aside negative feelings and determinedly concentrating on the positive aspects of a friendship which is important to me.

Its easy to say words about forgiveness but store up the injury in your heart, until it ends up poisoning YOU.  Anyway, as a believer I know I have to lay things like this down.  So I did.  Still, its all a bit GREEN isn't it??!

MASK

This page is about the way I hide how bad I often feel from my beloved - he worries about me, but since I can't be better even though I want to be, I'll sometimes smile and say I'm OK when actually I'm not. He doesn't always believe me, and although I try to be truthful most of the time, who wants to hear negative responses every single day?  I don't believe he does, because then he has to carry that knowledge and might feel powerless.  We've developed a points system, a kind of code to say how I'm doing.

The page began with a very simple background of yellow acrylic paint, and then I used a collection of black/white and grey collage scraps to create a border.  On the left is the page at that point, and on the right you can see how it looked with a grey shadow and a black outline added.  Makes a big difference doesn't it?

As far as I'm concerned every page needs to have a face of some kind, even if its just an eye or something like that, some human element I suppose.  That's when I put down the head and shoulders (cut from a magazine) bottom left.  She had a smiley face and I thought "that's not how I feel today", so I added the weary-looking face at the top right.  All this got me thinking about how often I put on a brave face when I feel rough, and the fact that out of love I will wear a mask so as not to drag either of us down.  That was when I cut out a mask to cover up her true face.

And acknowledging the truth that this is what I do, led to me writing it down.  Believe me I'm not complaining here - lots of people have it so much worse - but I am trying to acknowledge to and for myself that this is one of my coping strategies, and to remind myself not to over-use it.  Its important that sometimes I'm completely honest with the people who care about me.  

Having said that, there's scientific evidence that smiling puts you in a better mood, so I practice a lot and hope it works!  Its the difference between half full and half empty isn't it?  I know I've said this before but its something I firmly believe, that attitude helps, and that people don't want to spend time with you if you're always negative and miserable.

So then I finished the page with just a few dots and doodles - it didn't seem to need a whole lot more. I'm pleased with the black, grey and yellow - it was a colour scheme I'd seen in a bedding shop and liked, which just goes to show that there really IS inspiration everywhere.

We all wear masks but most of us don't admit it or even know we're doing it.  I know I do, out of what I perceive to be necessity. In a lot of ways I probably shouldn't, but I do it because it helps both of us get through.  Its my own personal Brave Girl thing .... my way of shouting to the rooftops "I'm still here"!!