I MUST BE GETTING OLD ...

It must be that I'm getting old, because I finally resigned myself to the fact that I'm never going to fulfil most of my youthful dreams. Well I gave up on being a ballerina in my teens when it became clear that I had two left feet ....
But all the big things I'd imagined turned out to be unimportant, and if I want to be remembered for anything it would be as somebody who tried to make a difference. On the days when I feel like life has conspired to make me somebody who has to stay home and sit down a LOT, it helps me to remember that I can still do that! That's what was in my mind as this page began - and that little chap is the "one person" I hoped I could make a difference for.

So that's what I was rambling on about as I worked on this - and look at me not writing in straight lines! Quite a revolution for me ...
I recently got a book on zentangle doodling and it has definitely influenced my journalling - I liked to draw on pages before, but on this one I was trying to take it to another level. Well perhaps the next level anyway!
Had a lot of fun with this as a result - well I expect you can see that! I've always been somebody who liked lots of fiddly little details, and as you probably already know I just can't resist filling up pages with all sorts of drawings and doodling.
So this is the finished result, completed with a dotty/swirly stamp which is one of my favourites. I'm very pleased with this one - I really like this colour combination and I'm SO proud of my efforts at not writing in straight lines! This leopard is clearly not too old to change her spots ...

Somebody said the other writing was hard to read so I reinstated this (more boring font). Not as much fun but I did think legibility was an important element!

RAMBLINGS OF AN INSOMNIAC ....

I made this page in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep ... and its interesting that in some ways its different to my usual output, not least in that its relatively simple. For once I haven't filled every nook and cranny with writing, but then it was about 3.00 am and even I can run out of words at that hour! You can see above how I began to lay down what I sometimes think of as a "river" of colour with the Caran d'Ache crayons ....
I took succeeding layers of colour out to the edges of the page, and then used a deep blue Promarker to define the edges (though not before I'd added some panels of offcut paper. Must have been in slightly mystical mode (I get like that sometimes) with the eyes and the buddha like figure.
And then, with uncharacteristic simplicty, I simply wrote down the central panel what I was thinking. Makes it sound easy doesn't it? It probably wasn't, but then who can remember what they got up to in the middle of the night? I was just pleased that it made reasonable sense when I got up the next day. I added some metallic lines using my new metallic Promarkers, but that was about all the embellishment I managed. I like it but there's no getting away from the fact that its a bit unusual for me! I wonder what that means? Never mind, its a mystery innit? Can't be profound all the time .....

RANDOM STUFF

We've been away - or I'd have posted before now. It was Himself's 60th birthday, which we celebrated with a trip to York during which we wondered how we had got so old without noticing .... And speaking of old, I was being a grumpy old bat the other day and decided to write about it. Above is the basic page I made using all sorts of bits and scraps ....

Then I started writing on it and forgot to take pictures as I went along, so this is the completed page. Its one I'm really pleased with, for once the images and the subject matter really worked together, and I also amazed myself by not writing in straight lines! It can be done ....
This seemed as good a time as any to share another page where I didn't manage to take pictures of the stages ... this began with an offcut of scrapbook paper, to which I added a cheeky cherub. Then it dawned on me that the page was a bit dark for writing on, so I added this shape with gesso - a bit pale so I inked over it a bit, and used my Caran d'ache crayons to outline the edges.
Well you know me - I can't see a blank space without wanting to write on it, and as you will see I had something I needed to get off my chest....
So now the awful truth is out there - I am VAIN (a bit, well possibly quite a lot). And I was cross with someone for assuming I was a pensioner, which didn't excuse my not being honest and coughing up the full adult ticket price. Sigh. Can't be a good girl all the time (apparently)!!

IN PRAISE OF FRIDA

You may or may not be familiar with the work of Frida Kahlo, a South American artist 1907 to 1954. In her teens she was the victim of a terrible car accident, and suffered life-long pain as a result of her injuries. Some of her injuries were appalling and I will spare you the details, but among them was a spine was broken in three places, as was her pelvis. She had 11 fractures in her right leg and her right foot was crushed. She got the gangrene in that same foot later in life, and had to have the leg amputated below the knee to stop it spreading, and was frequently bedridden after extensive surgery or just with pain.

I've always admired her - not only because of her striking self-portraits, but the sheer guts and bravery of the woman, so she's something of an icon for me, struggling in my own lesser way to deal with what life has thrown at me.

So there I was thumbing through my catalogue of collage images in search of inspiration and who did I let on but Frida's self portrait, with the tight thorns around her neck which represent her pain and struggle. I decided to draw a frame around her a bit like the South American Milagros, little shrines, because that seemed right for a heroine, and I gave her wings because she's gone on beyond her pain now. From the same page I found this little Frida label that just seemed to belong on the page as well.
I did the background with my trusty Caran d'Ache watercolour crayons, just a soft colour because I wanted the shrine to be what stood out of the page. Some collage sheet lettering provided her name, and then I just drew, doodled and wrote. The page turned out as I'd hoped - its vivid colours a testament to Frida's own brilliantly coloured paintings. It felt right to celebrate her life not so much in words but in art and colour.

DREAMING ....

Well you won't be surprised in these cold dark days to know that what I was dreaming of was warmth and sunshine - I'm not the only one, right? We've booked out the time, now all we have to do is decide where we want to go.

This page is one where there has been bleed-through from the opposite side, so once again I've used an offcut of scrapbook paper to cover that up and provide a ready-made background. The photo above shows the first few images and scraps of text that I put down, with a title drawn with a Promarker.
Then I started writing, and feeling that the page needed a bit more texture, added some lengths of Washi Tape just to liven things up a bit. I love this stuff and often use it as page borders too. Here I've outlined the title in black just to make it pop off the page a bit more.
And then, as so often happens, I got completely absorbed and forgot to take any more pictures until it was done. I do like doing this wobbly border (drawn with a Promarker) which extends into kind of cracks in the paper (I know what I mean). If you scroll down I used this in the last page I blogged too, and I often use my water soluble crayons to kind of add shade too.

That last statement "time with you" kind of crept up on me as the thing I was dreaming of more than anything. We share our home with my husband's 82 year old mother, and although she is a dear sometimes I just wish we could have more time to ourselves. ....

Anyway, while I'm about it I thought I would show you the journal which I've just completed - my third. My basic books are A5 canvas covered with a gesso finish, which allows me to paint them any colour I like - hence the pink! The three I've filled so far are all different, and I really enjoy finding bits and pieces to hang from the binding - they're all there for a reason, some of which make sense and some don't. There is very often a key, because for me art journalling has opened a door ....
And this is the journal I'm now working in - I had taken my time preparing it ahead once I got past the half way point in the pink one. Painted this one purple (I was in that kind of mood) and made a panel of soft hand-embossed metal to go on the front. I love doing this kind of work but my hands are getting so arthritic I don't think I'll be able to do it much longer, so thought I'd made a journal with it while I still could!
As you will probably have noticed, each journal has its own number, and I also put the relevant dates inside the cover, just in case I ever want to find a specific period of time. I've already begun on the next journal by painting it metallic bronze (a change is as good as a rest) but haven't decided how to decorate it yet.

BLUE MOOD?

Well no, not particularly as it happens ... I know it might seem like it but I do journal when I'm happy too! At the beginning of a New Year I don't so much make a resolution as choose a word for each year that I want to focus on, and that's what this page is about. This is actually a background I made some time ago, just waiting for me to write something. I don't work like that very often because I prefer the subject to suggest the colours, but on this occasion I was experimenting. I borrowed an idea I'd seen online - Teesha Moore among others makes copies of old journal pages and then cuts them up to use as borders. This was me having a go at doing the same, and I do quite like the result, although I possibly won't do it very often ....
Before I wrote anything I added the wobbly black edge to make the page frame stand out more - being similar colours they were blending together a bit. It was looking at the black and white I'd added that got me thinking about using a black and white image. Once I'd seen the quizzical look on her face I wondered what she/I was thinking (well she represents me obviously). The answer turned out to be my one word for the year, so that's what I wrote about. Simples.

And it is quite a simple page in the end - sometimes you can say what you need to in just a few words and no more is necessary. Well apart from a few squiggly bits of course - every page needs a few of those!!
I've only been practising with the word "now" since the beginning of the year but its working already - every time I catch myself looking ahead and worrying about the future, I just remind myself to appreciate NOW, and all the simple pleasures of the moment. OK I admit it doesn't work all of the time, but enough of the time to make the exercise worthwhile!!

PS Linda was kind enough to nominate me for a Liebster Blog Award and got in touch to tell me how much she enjoys visiting. Isn't that lovely? You've made my day Linda. I'm suppose to nominate some other blogs too, but that will take a bit of thinking about ....