Rosie's Arty Stuff

BLUE MOOD?

2012-02-02T16:14:00.004Z

Well no, not particularly as it happens ... I know it might seem like it but I do journal when I'm happy too! At the beginning of a New Year I don't so much make a resolution as choose a word for each year that I want to focus on, and that's what this page is about. This is actually a background I made some time ago, just waiting for me to write something. I don't work like that very often because I prefer the subject to suggest the colours, but on this occasion I was experimenting. I borrowed an idea I'd seen online - Teesha Moore among others makes copies of old journal pages and then cuts them up to use as borders. This was me having a go at doing the same, and I do quite like the result, although I possibly won't do it very often ....
Before I wrote anything I added the wobbly black edge to make the page frame stand out more - being similar colours they were blending together a bit. It was looking at the black and white I'd added that got me thinking about using a black and white image. Once I'd seen the quizzical look on her face I wondered what she/I was thinking (well she represents me obviously). The answer turned out to be my one word for the year, so that's what I wrote about. Simples.

And it is quite a simple page in the end - sometimes you can say what you need to in just a few words and no more is necessary. Well apart from a few squiggly bits of course - every page needs a few of those!!
I've only been practising with the word "now" since the beginning of the year but its working already - every time I catch myself looking ahead and worrying about the future, I just remind myself to appreciate NOW, and all the simple pleasures of the moment. OK I admit it doesn't work all of the time, but enough of the time to make the exercise worthwhile!!

PS Linda was kind enough to nominate me for a Liebster Blog Award and got in touch to tell me how much she enjoys visiting. Isn't that lovely? You've made my day Linda. I'm suppose to nominate some other blogs too, but that will take a bit of thinking about ....

CALMED AND COMFORTED ...

2012-01-28T13:26:00.006Z

If you follow my blog you'll know that I've been battling my way through all sorts of setbacks, large and small, lately, and I made this page at a time when I'd decided that all I could do was rest in the promises that (in the end) all will be well. When you can't change something, not even by worrying about it, you just have to let it go, right?

So that's what I was trying to do here, and thinking about the words in Psalm 131. I think of God as a mother a lot, and so I drew this image of the child on its mother's breast and I wanted both her face and the child's to be very serene. The baby might be me, but it could just as easily be you ... it works as an image and metaphor whatever, doesn't it?
Then I started to write out the quote - feeling my way with this style of lettering which borrows heavily from Teesha Moore, but has sort of morphed gradually into my own (I hope). I drew lines first but ended up making the letters of different heights, so they were just there as a guide and I rubbed them out later. Out with the trusty Promarkers and I began to colour the lady - choosing this restful grey-blue.
Then it was finishing the lettering, adding the background colour, and lots of doodling. And of course there had to be elements of gold pen too - I know I've spoken before of the golden thread which runs through everything, so it had to be here. By the time this page was finished I was indeed calmed and comforted, ready to trust in whatever the future holds. Whatever would I do without the therapeutic opportunities of journalling to work things out in this way ..... ?

FEELING UNSURE

2012-01-23T11:09:00.004Z

This page began without any real idea of what I wanted to say - just working on a background using yellow crayon with touches of grey as shading. I didn't take the colour all the way to the edge, and made a see through border using this Tim Holtz tissue tape, slightly fragile stuff I found but I really like the transparent look it gives. The words about journal just seemed to belong really. And that was it until I found the word "feeling" on one of my collage sheets, which made me ask the question ... well what am I feeling? After that I was off, as you can see below, and because it was all about uncertainty and not being sure what to do next I used grey (Promarker) as a way to visually illustrate that ....
And then it was one of those times when the page was just - finished, with nothing more to say, but of course being me I couldn't leave all that blank background, and my usual doodling and drawing wouldn't have seemed right for the subject matter. So out with my trusty dotty stamp and hey presto, empty spaces gone and filled with curvy lines that also add to the sense of wavering uncertainty!
I really like this page - its a bit different from my usual style, which can only be a good thing. Its always an interesting exercise to work outside your comfort zone. Unfortunately the answer to my question is no nearer than when I began, but I'm sure it will reveal itself when the time is right.

SORRY I WAS AWOL THERE ....

2012-01-19T09:19:00.005Z

My computer was having a funny turn and had to go and be mended. I'm embarrassed to admit how much I missed it and the online community which brings the world to me ... my life as a disabled person who has to stay home and sit down a lot would be so much worse without that window on the world.

Anyway, hopefully all is now fixed and Polly PC will henceforth run beautifully. The enforced idleness from cruising the internet actually resulted in a great outpouring of stuff into my journal - it can only be good to get it off your chest right? Anyway I began this on a day when I was seriously having to take my own advice about counting my blessings, or fall into that dark hole where we all go sometimes. With that in mind I got out my watercolour crayons and splashed about in the brightest colours I could think of. Lots of people ask if I know what I'm going to say when I begin and the answer is 'sometimes', but not on this occasion. I added the Stampotique girl to represent me - she makes me laugh, she has to sit down, I also wear shoes with very thick soles or my feet hurt too much, and the brolly is an inadequate defence against the things which not infrequently drop on her . The handprints are there to represent the way I'm always getting sticky with arty stuff!
And then of course I knew what I wanted/needed to say, and the writing just flowed. I HAD forgotten that I'm lucky to have time and space to make art, and do need to be reminded frequently. I suppose its about not letting the bad stuff drag you down to a place where you can't see the bright seam of gold which runs through and illuminates your days? I know, I sound like Pollyanna don't I? I'll be doing that "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam" thing any minute ...
And having reminded myself of all the seriously Good Stuff in my life, there were still rather too many blank bits for my liking (I do prefer to make really BUSY pages, FULL of life and colour).
So I filled some of them up with doodles and drawings and this brilliant curly/dotty stamp which I absolutely love, use all the time, and have had so long that I can't remember where it came from. No actually I can - its from a clear set by Impression Obsession and its called Spring Squares. I've never actually used any of the square stamps in the set - though looking at them now I wonder why - but this curly one has been so useful.

Which brings me to wondering .... if I designed some stamps specifically for art journallers which like this were just elements you could use anywhere on a page, do you think there would be a market for them? It's something I'd LOVE to do ...

THE GATE OF THE YEAR ...

2012-01-11T09:34:00.008Z

This time I thought I'd show you a picture of my worktable as I began my page - the tin on the left contains my Caran d'Ache watersoluble crayons which I can't recommend highly enough. I only wish I could afford the giant set of 84 colours rather than the 30 this contains!! I've put it on my Amazon Wish List so you never know? This was the last page of my journal - rather appropriate since it was also 1st January - and you can see the door image by Paper Whimsy cut out and waiting on the right (couldn't find a gate). I'd already begun to rub the crayons over the page, leaving a gap for the picture - the colours kind of melt and change like magic when you work on them with a wet paintbrush.
You can see that here - you get a kind of watercolour effect, and I often go back in and add more, particularly around the corners and edges - the more you add the deeper the colour. I also begun to write out this lovely poem ... which I always think of as each year turns.
This is only the first section of it, but obviously all the verses wouldn't fit! I then went to town on the page in terms of doodling, decorating and generally filling up the space! If the bit at the bottom makes you think of a sunrise/sunset that's deliberate, because the remainder of the poem speaks about "the breaking of day in the lone East", and you do get these pinks and purples, particularly at dawn.
For the decoration around the door I was thinking about the infinity of days ahead, and all their possibilities (more journals to fill, more people to love) so I was trying to suggest that behind the door the horizon stretches away beyond our sight. Well I knew what I meant, and I do love just doodling away. This has all been done with a combination of black pen - I like the Pilot waterproof drawing pens in different nib sizes, white pen by Uniball Signo and definitely the best, and of course Promarkers. Happy New Year even if it is the 11th. (Already? How did that happen?)

ANGELS

2012-01-06T10:48:00.004Z

You may think I've lost the plot (and I'm not saying you're wrong either!) but on a very few occasions in my life a messenger I believe to be sent from God has come to me ... and because of that I like to think of them angels. I was blessed by such a visit a few weeks ago ... and this is my attempt to capture what I felt.

The background is mainly rubbed on Distress Inks, splashed with water, and I used my water soluble crayons to add a bit of depth to the colour around the edges. Although I don't subscribe to the idea that angels are girls - the biblical ones have names like Gabriel and Raphael - the Messenger who came to me that day was female, so I chose this image because I've always liked the serenity of this young lady's face. The wings themselves are gold foil bought ages ago - Paper Artsy keep these, and I think they're called German scrap, or something like that?
So then I just journalled straight onto the page - for once it was difficult to know quite where to start, so I pulled words out of a collage sheet of phrases that just seemed right, and worked around them. I almost decided that it was finished once the writing was done, but you know me and blank backgrounds - I just can't leave them alone.
I've recently discovered the joys of adding a little bit of metallic gold or silver to a page, and because what I was trying to record was so special it felt like gold was called for, so I drew a gold vine using a spirit based pen. Stinky, and the fumes may have made me a bit dizzy, but I do love the result. It still feels strange looking back at this experience, and I'm not sure that I've fully unpacked its implications .... but am working on it!

LAUGH ... its another Year!

2012-01-01T11:39:00.004Z

I came across this quotation and thought it hit the spot for how I was feeling ... so this page began in a slightly unusual way for me. I'd done some work on the reverse and my Promarkers had bled through - they only do so occasionally since I glue two pages together, and then usually only if there's a big, dense block of colour. That's why the background here is an offcut of scrapbook paper to which I've added a section from a Teesha Moore collage sheet. Initially I just threw the cut up words down onto the page - I might have wanted to re-arrange them, who knows? But as you can see below, I put them down in the order intended, with another piece of collage.
Then it was one of those times when I got absorbed in the work and forgot to take more photos until the end. The window is from a Paper Whimsy collage sheet, and the lady is the Artchix muse - I use her a LOT, I just love the quizzical look on her face! The window image sort of represents the fact that I seem to spend a lot of my life on the inside looking out ....

It was pretty much finished at that point but the big orange areas looked a bit blank, and although I didn't want to fill it with writing (in my usual fashion) I drew a sort of vine in the spaces. It seemed to belong because it represents the tangle that my life is in at the moment ... just when it seemed to be safe to go back in the water. Never mind eh, you've got to laugh right?

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL and remember to keep right on journalling the ups and downs of life - after all its cheaper than therapy (and I KNOW because I've done both)!

THE REAL MEANING ....

2011-12-29T14:17:00.006Z

Well I've just had lunch and nobly finished off the last of the clotted cream along with a large chunk of the yummy Christmas cake our daughter made. Very few leftovers now require consumption and the family have all gone home .... so there is once again time to think about my journal. The page above was made using one of my favourite background techniques, which is Distress Inks rubbed onto the paper (using a darker shade towards the outer edge) and then adding water splashes which produces this brilliant effect, particularly on this (Faded Jeans) blue.

After that I got a bit involved in what I was doing and forgot to take many stage pictures. Ooops. Anyway I can tell you that the next thing I did was stamp this message in the centre of the page. Don't you just love these words - I made last year's Christmas cards with this Penny Black stamp.
Then I used my gold pen to produce a random sort out outline around the water splodges. There was a particular reason for this, which is that I've always thought of my spirituality as the golden thread that runs through my life ... and this was a kind of representation of that. After that I wrote around the outer edges all the stuff that Christmas ISN'T about, not really, however nice such things may be.
Then I added the words from the Advent Carol - very special for me at this time of year, and apart from more gold lines and a few stars the page felt about finished. Very simple but it says what I wanted it to. .. and we HAVE to get beyond Santa, robins, tinsel and tat, even beyond the baby in the manger, to the real heart of the matter.

Hope your Christmas was blessed and special - mine was, so now I feel a bit flat .... Did we finish the sherry or is there a cheering drop or two left???

Just editing to answer these questions .... "I'd like to know what brand pen you use for the gold and white. They show up so vividly. Do you gesso first or work straight on paper?"

The gold pen (and their silver is great too) is Deco Colour extra fine liquid gold - widely available. The white one is the absolute BEST I've found anywhere, Uniball Signo broad tip. No I don't use gesso - have tried it but can't abide the chalkiness, although it is vital if you want to use paint on your pages, which I rarely do. I do work on two pages stuck together though for extra strength. Hope this helps?

MINCE PIES ARE MAGIC ....

2011-12-25T15:11:00.002Z

There really isn't anything that gets me in the Christmas spirit more than a mince pie - has to be a hot one, preferably fresh out of the oven. Absolute bliss, and because they are very much a Christmas only thing in our house, just the smell of them cooking brings a rush of rejoicing to my head! I started this page some time back .... I like to prepare the backgrounds ahead sometimes, and although it didn't start out particularly festive it just seemed like the right one to work on. The basic background is distress inks rubbed straight onto the page, with some bits and pieces from a Teesha Moore collage sheet added.
By the time I wrote at the top of the page, the smell of the mince pies I'd put in the oven was wafting through to the studio, so obviously I had to journal about it, especially since I was getting into a fever pitch of excitement about darling daughters coming home, and these were being made to welcome them. I drew the mince pie on a separate piece of paper and cut it out and stuck it on when I decided it was finished. You wouldn't believe the palaver I had trying to get one of the Promarker colours to represent golden pastry - that colour is unaccountably missing from their range, and I must have done about 11 layers before concluding that I'd achieved the best result I was going to. My Beloved said it doesn't much look like a mince pie - but what does he know?? He only eats them.
The holly just sort of crept in until there was quite a lot of it, although not before I'd rambled on in sentimental fashion. I admit it, I'm a complete softie and as for Christmas I love every flippin minute - from the shopping I start in September right on through. I get so overwhelmed by the joyousness of it all that I've been known to burst into tears quite randomly. Such a moment came to me this morning in church, but seeing as I was taking the service at the time I had to gulp it down. Anyway, Joy to the World and hope your Christmas is happy and blessed, and that your mince pies are delicious!

BLESSINGS?

2011-12-19T12:27:00.002Z

And a very good time to count them I suppose ... particularly when everyone is busy busy with Christmas and holiday stuff? This page began with my watersoluble crayons, and then because for once I knew what I wanted to write about I stencilled the numbers and added some Artchix pictures. As so often with my journal I then wrote the key phrase on the page, and everything flowed from there ....
This time of year always makes me feel all misty and sentimental - I think maybe that happens to a lot of people? The smaller writing was done with a fairly ordinary coloured pen but the deep purple was .... wait for it .... yes you guessed! Promarkers (again). I've got some of those nib attachments that make it possible to do a finer line.
The flowers are Promarkers too - I love how you can get shading by using closely related colours. I had carols going on the CD player and was generally feeling lucky and happy - not to mention the fact that I could smell mince pies cooking next door! Sometimes you need to remember to journal the good stuff and not just the negatives .... even if the latter seem to have the most impact?

Life Gets a bit SCARY sometimes ...

2011-12-07T16:52:00.007Z

Anyone who knows me might well find it surprising that I should feel this way? I' could win an oscar for appearing to be fine when on the inside I'm a mess, with the result that most people tend to think of me as confident and sorted .... and just a few know how very far from the truth that is. Anyway, I've been a bit up and down lately, and this page was made in one of my bleaker moments. I'm pleased to say that I'm feeling much brighter and more optimistic now, but I had a distinct dip back there.

The background of the page had to be paper because the trusty Promarkers that I use on most of my pages had bled through (even though I stick two journal pages together) onto the other side, and anyway this page from an old ledger rather suited my dull brown mood. I actually felt so low I couldn't reach for the bright array of pens on my desk.
Then it seemed right to add the numbers along the bottom - well that's what you write in a ledger innit? The specs advert isn't there for any deep reason, it just appealed to me, so that went in as well, and then - not knowing what the page was going to be about at that point - I simply asked myself how I felt, and wrote the answer to the question at the top of the page. I do that a lot and its very therapeutic ... because sometimes you don't actually know you're feeling scared, and so you can't deal with it. I find that if I can name the demon tormenting me it loses some of its power. After that of course the words just came flowing out, and with them a kind of ease and healing.
The stitched (stapled?) effect is done with a Stampers Anonymous stamp that I've had for ages - it was just right for a time when I felt sort of only just held together with big clumsy stitches which might give any minute! You may know the feeling? The page was looking a bit too clean and it was about feeling vaguely grubby, and labelled as a scrounger, so I used my other favourite art material my soluble watercolour crayons to add some shading around the various page elements.

You will gather from the finished result that I was feeling very scared about changes to the Benefit system. I feel vulnerable enough sometimes without the support system which keeps me going being threatened. Most of the time I can trust in God that the things I really need will come to me, but some days its just not possible to hold onto that.

So don't be misled by those headlines about Benefit Scroungers living the high life off your taxes .... its not like that for the great majority. I'm incredibly grateful to live in a society which provides a safety net, but £80 a week doesn't go very far ... and for some even a modest percentage cut makes a difference in the most basic terms.

Here endeth the sermon ... more cheerful posts to follow!

FORCED SMILE

2011-12-02T10:15:00.004Z

Wild horses wouldn't drag the truth out of me in terms of who I wrote this page about - too incriminating! However, am pleased to report that sloping off and writing this did increase my tolerance level, if only briefly.

More trusty Promarkers (you must be bored of hearing about them) so I won't go on about it. In a chicken or egg situation am not sure whether I've just found the confidence to draw more, or perhaps its that PMs so lend themselves to colouring that it naturally evolved. Anyway, working like this does seem to be a truly natural way of working for me ... and lately I'm feeling as if my journal pages are truly my own, and not just a sincere imitation of someone else's style.

But back to the subject .... my get out clause if challenged is that (obviously) this page isn't actually about me and my reactions, because the person in the picture doesn't look like me, not one bit. Or is that a psychological ploy on my part to distance myself from negative feelings? Who cares? The page was therapeutic and that's all I'm gonna admit to ...
Maybe everyone has moments like this ... tell me its not just me, please!! If I was really assertive I would be able to say calmly "please stop doing that, I find it very annoying" but I wasn't brought up that way. Don't let it stop you coming round - its not you, honest!!

PS Please tell me if you think this font is annoying - I rather liked it!

SIGNS OF OLD AGE ....

2011-11-22T05:21:00.004Z

My name is Rosie, I'm 57 and a grandmother. There, I've said it. Lord knows how I got here ... time seemed to fly by (whether I was having fun or not) and now all of a sudden that middle aged woman I see in shop windows turns out to be me! How impossible that seems when, in my head, I'm in my early thirties. I've also noticed an increasing hardening of my attitudes (along with my arteries) that I'm not necessarily proud of, and do know that's something I have to work on. But equally there are some areas in which I've learned wisdom (I hope) and maybe these are some of them, or possibly I'm just growing old and lazy? You decide!
This page began with me writing the title, and then I just started to doodle the borders. The next stage was to list some of the things I saw happening in me, and to begin adding colour - once again the trusty Promarkers came to hand! I do love what I can do with these, and how vivid the results are. If you look closely you can see some of the shading I've achieved (although I have a lot to learn on that front) often just by adding a light grey OVER the colour. That's what gave me the grape shade around the black on the pink/purple panel at the top of the page, which was the effect of grey over the pink.
I'm still not entirely comfortable with too much white background, so then I began to add a colour around the writing - if I go over the writing I find it fuzzes a bit even though the waterproof ink doesn't actually run. Doodling away in colour on the borders was such fun - really relaxing and reflective!
And this is how the page finished up - it seems a shame now that its just a list, I might have written it more artistically, but I didn't. That's partly because when I began it I didn't actually know what would be on it! It may be that you recognise some of the symptoms I describe ... in which case welcome to the club! I've just noticed that some of the branches I've drawn look a bit like arteries ... but suspect that was subconscious.
Now I'd better go off and do some work on not being quite such a cranky old lady - or my grand-daughters will find me very boring indeed, and that would never do!!

HAPPINESS ... or the lack of it.

2011-11-17T17:42:00.004Z

Ever had one of those times when you woke up in the morning and suddenly the world had gone all grey? Yep, it was one of those. I did the usual cheering self up stuff - chocolate, counting my blessings etc, but the outlook remained resolutely cloudy, so I turned to my journal instead.
It's interesting that I actually journalled about my glum feelings in wonderfully bright colours isn't it? Not sure what was going on in my brain there. Anyway, this is pretty much all Promarkers again, except for the background around the writing, which was done with my trusty water soluble crayons.
Anyway, not much to say about this really - I guess it speaks for itself? It hasn't been a good week - haven't been sleeping, life seems pointless etc etc, you know how it is. This too shall pass.

NOW HOW DID THAT HAPPEN ...?

2011-11-13T15:45:00.005Z

I swear I thought it was only about 10 days since I last posted, but when I came to look it was almost a month! Tut tut, but I'm here now, and I won't bother you with excuses .... Real Life overwhelmed me there for a while.

The background of this page was done with my trusty watersoluble crayons, and the borders are from a collage sheet I made some time ago. The clown image is a long-time favourite stamp from Invoke Arts, and the word "Art" is made by Hampton, and is one of the first stamps I ever bought years ago ....
I have these moments of doubt when I start to wonder if what I do is just colourful daubings of no particular worth or merit ... like you do. Then again, if the art journalling process helps me (and it does) and gives me pleasure (also true) then I guess it doesn't really matter why you do it, or how well, and its value is what it means to you ... not to mention YOU, if what I write about touches a nerve for you too?

Lord I am rambling something chronic today - which is because I'm tired, its been a busy weekend. The final decorative bits (you know I can hardly ever resist) and flowers are once again done with my Promarkers. What did I do before I had them?

Anyways - if you ever doubt that you're a true artist or that your journalling is important, then take it from me the answer is YES it is. It's just that sometimes we lose our way for a time and forget, but the main thing is that later it gets remembered! Like now for instance!

Yours ramblingly.,

GIVE ME A CLUE

2011-11-11T08:46:00.003Z

This rather desperate appeal arose from a time recently when I just wasn't sure what I should be doing next ... and as you can see ended up making a heartfelt appeal for help from Above! The page itself is a background of Distress Inks with a border of Tim Holtz tissue tape (nice and quick!). Then I added a couple of quick pictures and the title, oh yes and a little touch of pink with my water soluble crayons, and some texture from a bubble wrap stamp ....
Once I started writing I sort of couldn't stop - it was a real cri de coeur (and I'm still not totally sure I've got the answer, but enough to be going on with)! As you can see this ended up being one of my less busy pages - having made my plea for help it sort of felt finished, so for once I didn't doodle endlessly all over it. But, as I said above, I did feel I was answered ... even if not with the complete road atlas I was rather hoping for, but then in my experience God doesn't generally work that way!

I'M BACK - DID YOU MISS ME?

2011-10-27T17:55:00.006+01:00

Back from the Greek island of Rhodes - having had a pretty good time, and not fallen out with my sister (aided by the consumption of delicious blue cocktails)! I even managed a bit of art journalling while I was there ...

The above is a page made back in August, when I was NOT having a good day. You know the kind, you have them sometimes I'm sure. Anyway you can see how the page began below - this is a background done with Distress Inks onto which I dropped water. I stamped the rough stitches at the top and bottom, and added the picture before writing anything. She looked sort of spiky and cross, which is how I felt at the time ....
And from there the page grew really fast - I drew in lots of shapes and coloured them, and basically had a good ole moan while I worked.
And this is how it all worked out in the end - I like it, and didn't really know how much I disliked acidic yellow, but now I see that I associate it with that acid feeling when nothing is going right! For once I didn't try and fill every corner - I'd said what was on my mind and was happy to leave it there.

You may like to know that I WAS better the next day ... these yellow days don't come along too often, but when they do, watch out!

HOPING FOR GOOD NEWS ...

2011-10-06T16:56:00.005+01:00

I made this page in revolt after watching a resolutely gloomy news bulletin which left me wondering why good stuff wasn't being reported? My Beloved adores that "Extreme Makeover" TV programme because its all about good things happening, people helping their friends and neighbours, and lives generally being turned around for the better. There's a lot of it out there but you never hear about it ....
I began by laying down waves of colour using my water soluble crayons, and adding some stamped and coloured images. Don't ask me why these particularly wacky images - no real reason I just like them! Then I added the words "good news" in the middle of the page and began to write around them.
And it sort of just went on from there - I leave spaces where they seem to need to be, or draw things in them if not, it just grows really. Most of the colour apart from the background here is done with my Promarkers.
This will be my last post for a couple of weeks because I'm off on my travels again - to Greece this time. Yes I do know that I've just come back from Florida (and its not ideal to be go away again so soon, honest), but if you're thinking "lucky thing" stop right there! The downside is that I'm going in order to keep my sister company, and she is bossy. Very Bossy. Nuff said .... wish me luck and pray that I keep my temper!

A DAY IN THE LIFE ...

2011-09-30T09:25:00.006+01:00

I was pondering the other day ... you know how you do ... about my daughters treasuring these journals after I'm gone (I can dream) and thought about doing a snapshot of a day in my (not very interesting) life. I'd seen a comic strip used somewhere recently and thought - why not? A picture speaks a thousand words after all, but it actually proved harder than I thought!

The above shows my morning, which seemed straightforward enough, but it didn't feel right to just do a chronological progress as shown below although in the end that's more or less how it turned out. Please note that the cuddly one indicates just that - anything else would be deemed by blogger to be "inappropriate" content!

My other half asked me why I'd labelled this "postcards from an urban life" and I suppose its because after 23 years of living in the country, urban life is very different, so something of that escaped into whatever I was trying to say here! I know what I mean ...

Some of this day (which was a Sunday if you haven't already guessed) reflects the general pattern of most - which is quite a lot of time at the computer (sitting down is what I do best), soup for lunch, a bath in the early evening, tracksuit on and feet up in front of the TV. I seem to be brightest in the morning, fading a bit during the afternoon, and not at all with it in the evenings, so I tend to organise my life to take account of this!

The parts with the cat are slightly wishful thinking - she's a gorgeous princess, a totally black cat whiskers pads and all - but a bit aloof, so if she deigns to bless you with her attention its practically a historic moment! No way would Bibi have given me this much attention in a week let alone a day .... Likewise I don't get ice-cream every day, but wouldn't mind if I did!
You've probably also guessed that this was done with Promarkers again. I left the background white because I've seen a couple of journal pages with plain white pages behind the entries, and realised I shouldn't be so afraid of white space.

INVISIBLE

2011-09-24T11:16:00.004+01:00

Those of you still of an age to claim youth had better look away now - because you don't want to hear this! It is one of the less well known aspects of female ageing that you become increasingly invisible ... and you do notice that people don't seem to see you as a person any more, just another older person. I hate that, so I did a journal page about it.

Once again I began with a blank page on which I stamped, drew and wrote ... the figure is a Stampotique stamp, and you either love them or hate them! All the colour on this page is done with Promarkers.

I know I must have been guilty of this myself at a earlier stage in my life - lumping old/older people together as an amorphous mass, but life taught me to see people, all people, as individuals who matter, both to themselves and to others. It's incredibly painful for me to be treated as a person of no account - although whether that says more about my vanity than society I can't say! All I know is that it hurts sometimes ....
I keep thinking of that poem by Dylan Thomas where it says "do not go gentle into that good night; rage rage against the dying of the light". So I am ... not going gently or quietly, not drifting towards pensionerhood without a struggle. I'm a person not a statistic!

There's been a lot in the media lately about people living on Benefits (government assistance) basically suggesting that all such are lazy, feckless cheats and scroungers, who should be made to get off their backsides and work! I'm one of them, a person with a chronic illness rather than someone who can't be bothered to work. Most of us are.

So there you are, a bit of a rant really, but it gets it off my chest dunnit? It only struck me as odd afterwards that although the page has a negative topic, its actually quite bright and lively. I think that must be because I was also trying to celebrate everything that is real and alive in me and my life? I may be down, but am most certainly not out! Ignore me? Don't you DARE!!

I FORGOT TO SAY

2011-09-17T13:48:00.003+01:00

.... that I would be away for a while! Have legged it to Florida abandoning a distinctly cold and autumnal England. Am now too hot and very sticky - there's no pleasing some people ... but I'm doing my best to enjoy myself. After all the ice cream is very good (chocolate and peanut butter!!), the shopping isn't half bad (Michael's, Jo-Anns, all those yummy dollar stores). See you on about 24th September, or whenever I emerge from the jet-lag!

NORMAL WOMAN FIGHTS BACK!!

2011-08-31T12:02:00.005+01:00

OK stand well back - because I was flipping STEAMING when I made this page! I've been getting increasingly cross with articles in magazines or items on TV suggesting that we should all be waxing or otherwise depilating practically every hair on our bodies. Add this to the nasty concept of submitting to surgery just to force our bodies into some kind of "ideal" standard, and I finally went off like a volcano. You just can't keep a good old fashioned feminist down!

So I began with this drawing of my entirely normal size 14 (UK) 56 year old body. I'm not ashamed of it, even though I have made it crinkly with over-use! I will not be bullied by body facism into feeling that normal is not acceptable. We come in all shapes and sizes and should be celebrating that, right?
You can see for yourself my thoughts on the subject, but I will apologise in advance to anyone who had to have a caesarian section for my comment "no need for surgery" because its in no way intended as any kind of criticism. It is meant to indicate that the wide pelvis which goes with my pear shape means that giving birth actually comes relatively easy to me, which is definitely something to celebrate right??
And then it was down to adding colour with the trusty Promarkers. I didn't go in for a lot of fancy decoration here because I wanted the message in sharp, clear focus. I do seem to be doing a lot of ranting lately, but I feel so strongly that our young women and girls are being given all the wrong messages, and we HAVE to counteract it.

Comfort Eating ...

2011-08-26T15:57:00.005+01:00

This is a bit like "True Confessions". My name is Rosie and I'm a comfort eater ... even losing 4 stone with Weightwatchers hasn't cured me. I keep telling myself that food doesn't change anything, but inside I still think it at least makes me feel better! I began by feeling disgusted with myself over an encounter with the Ben & Jerry's the night before, and it all went from there ...
The blue background is painted and then I added colourful strips from a collage sheet, can't remember whose. The word "why" is a real cry from the heart - I'd really like to understand this trigger in my brain so that I could learn to fight against it! I drew the cake onto a separate piece of paper, coloured it using my Promarkers, then cut it out to stick down. Just looking at that cherry on the top made me smile and lick my lips ...
Maybe it is just greed - I grew up in a house where the food was dreadful, so once I discovered just how delicious it could be I was a convert .... and somewhere at the back of my head must be this fear that the good times might not last? One thing I did discover during my Weightwatchers time was that I have a low point at about 4.00 pm every day, and have learned to eat something then to boost my flagging energy. It seems to stave off getting the munchies later. Maybe I eat because I'm bored? Wish there was an easy answer. My beloved is a person who can have just one square of chocolate, but I say what's the flippin good of that? It's stuffing a huge chunk in that fills my mouth which does it for me, followed by another, and then you might as well finish the bar to get rid of the temptation for tomorrow when you plan to start over again? Aha, I see you recognise the scenario!
In the process of trying to work out the psychology behind it all, I sat down to draw my tub of Ben & Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie (my favourite) and so enjoyed doing it that I managed to talk myself out of seeing its consumption as a bad thing, and ended up hailing ice cream as the solution to all the problems of the universe!! By then I was feeling much better and a lot less guilty about my guilty pleasures ... so what the heck!

ENFORCED REST

2011-08-23T15:08:00.003+01:00

Resting is something I have to do a lot of - very often when I'd rather be busy and active and "out there" instead of stuck in here .... Hey ho. When I made this page I was trying not to mind that it was the result of having overdone it a few days earlier but on something I hadn't much wanted to do anyway! I mean, you'd feel differently if you'd thoroughly enjoyed yourself or danced all night wouldn't you? Anyway I was trying to think calm, accepting thoughts and I made these layers of blue and green, one of my favourite colour combinations, using my trusty Caran d'Ache watersoluble crayons.
Then I laid down some writing, doodling and a bit of collage - which is mostly how all my pages develop. I think I just love fiddling about, colouring, drawing and doodling ... and I certainly do find that very restful. I seem to go off to this place inside my head where my creative self lives, and whenever I've spent time there I feel so much better. I hope you know what I'm rambling on about?
On this occasion the process proved very good for my soul, and I hope this isn't too whining or self pitying. I was pleased that I hadn't attempted to fill every last inch with stuff - the page feels more elegant and understated, which sort of fits with the subject matter. These are the pages I like the best - which don't begin with any very definite ideas and just grow and develop as I go along. The final statement feels powerful and affirming - that even though I do have to rest a lot, I'm still making that time fruitful. That's good to remember on days when I feel life is passing me by ...

FRIEND WANTED!

2011-08-20T12:13:00.003+01:00

I must have been feeling a bit lonely when I made this page ... which was only partly tongue in cheek! As you can see below, it began once again with my efforts to draw/write first and add colour after. It still feels slightly odd, but is definitely an interesting way to work - although "colouring" feels a bit like something I should be doing with children!!
Sometimes I draw a bit then colour a bit, and so on, but here I did draw the whole thing out in black and white before I added any colour (except for the picture in the centre). A major advantage of working this way is using white space, which can be very creative, and is something I've not really thought about before. From the point of view of travel journalling this technique would work really well, as you could do all the drawing and writing on-site then add colour when you got home, which would save carrying anything beyond a simple kit.
Its also provided an opportunity to further explore the possibilities of my Promarkers - all the colour here has been done this way. I am now a serious fan of these (as you may have noticed). There doesn't seem to be much difference between Promarkers and Copics, so I went for Promarkers because they British - it seemed right to support the home market in these tough times.
You might also be glad to know that, around about the time I made this page, I was developing a relationship with a local lady which has already blossomed into something special. Making this page prompted a decision, and I sent her a jokey email requesting her friendship - done like a job advert as here, but carrying warnings she might like to take into account! To my great pleasure she responded positively ... although I keep telling her that she doesn't strictly meet the criteria as she doesn't drive! I can but don't any more for health reasons, which leaves us reliant on other people for transport. Am sure we'll work something out - we can always get on the bus which stops right outside my door! As for lunches and craft shopping expeditions these have already taken place ....!!

SAD PHONE GEEK

2011-08-16T12:00:00.003+01:00

I've recently been rather taken with journallers who draw little pictures of objects from their daily life. Well my phone was on the desk, and I couldn't help noticing (again) how pretty it is, and so I drew its picture .... see below. Also had a chance to play with my new typewriter letter stamps. The statement speaks for itself - from the heart, sad but true.
The page ended up being quite different to my normal style with these big blocks of colour (using my Promarkers), but I rather like how crisp and relatively simple it is. Makes a change anyway from the busy busy pages I usually do!
And even though I added a few twiddly doodles, I didn't go overboard (unless you think I did)!
I don't use it all that much - but that's increasing, and since I bought the new pink and white floral (kind of Japanese blossom) glossy hard case, its more beautiful than ever. OK I admit it, I don't know how to use half the things it does, but I don't care. It works for me. It gives me joy every time I pick it up, and it was a present. What's not to like???

TOUCHED A NERVE THERE ...

2011-08-13T10:25:00.004+01:00

For once I responded to a challenge with this page - over on the Stampotique Designers Blog - to alter a book page, with the option of using a Stampotique image. Well I love this scribbly face by Daniel Torrente, she looks so fierce and cross and I use her a lot. Hmmm maybe that says something about me? So I pasted a page from the old hardback I use for such purposes onto a journal page and set to work ... completely forgetting to take my usual stage pictures.

But you can probably see why ... this subject is something which has been on my mind for some time. I can't understand why any woman would describe herself as "not a feminist". All it means is "pro-woman", and my Other Half describes himself as one too! I fought a lot of battles against sexism and patriarchal attitudes in my younger days, and sad to say I still see a lot of things which need to change. So rude words to the whole concept of post-feminism - if we girls can't stand up for one another who will? And I want things to be better for my girls and my grand-daughters ...

Oh yes, and how do you like the brilliant ink pad rack my nephew made for me? Super innit? I couldn't find anything (affordable) to house these larger ink pads and we did a spot of bartering - I made him a scrapbook album of family history, and he made me this. Result!

TROUBLE WITH MY BRAIN ...

2011-08-10T14:46:00.006+01:00

Unreliable brain cells were the subject of this page - I'm sure you know the ones, which refuse to release info you know is in there, or absorb new stuff that you need to remember ...? Yes I thought you would. The basic outline below isn't an original idea, but one I saw somewhere (probably in the Stampington art journalling magazine) and rather liked. I actually drew it on the page some time ago, but had quite a long wait before inspiration struck.
I drew the black flames (well that's what I thought they were) with a Promarker pen, but the rest of the colour was added with Caran d'ache watersoluble crayons. I make no apology for the colour scheme - I LIKE pink, and my hand just automatically reaches for it ...

And that was the point at which I wrote the large white words on the "flames" ... probably because I'd been going to write about something else, but forgotten what it was before I could do so. Yes, you know that feeling too, right? Anyway, I was thinking about cogs slipping and whathaveyou, wondering why my mental gears were always crashing (for those of you who drive automatic cars, that's to do with using a manual gearbox, when the gears don't mesh and you get the most awful crunching sound).
And so it went on, with me whinging away in similar vein, although I would really REALLY like to know the answers to these questions. I used to be quite clever (honest, I was) but a combination of menopausal brain death and Fibromyalgia fog have reduced me to the mental capacity of a gnat ...
Still it made a nice page didn't it, and I got it off my chest!
By the way, I bought some Pilot drawing pens for journalling that I'm really pleased with - right from a very fine 01 to a nice wide 08, and of course the white pen is the superb Uniball Signo, the best I've found. The pilot pens don't blur or run whatever you throw at them, including Promarkers, and seem to suit me better than the Letraset ones.

Persons with similarly recalcitrant brain cells that won't remember mobile phone numbers or the names of the persons standing right in front of you (even if they are related to you) may now leave sympathetic messages ..... We're all in this together sisters!

A COUPLE OF QUICKIES ....

2011-08-06T10:04:00.002+01:00

For various reasons (I think my Dad was ill at the time) I did some pages where I didn't manage to do my usual stage photos, but thought I'd put them on my blog anyway. The one above started as one of my attempts to do more with paint, and even has a gesso base!! If I sound a bit unconvinced its because I think I am, but am willing to persevere. I can't now remember exactly what sparked this, but have a vague idea that it was a close friend putting herself down that made me cross and set off this train of thought. I told her not to do it, pointing out that there are always plenty of people willing to do so for us! With her I think its one of those make fun of myself before someone does it to me things .... and I wouldn't mind but she's a brave, strong and talented woman, if also a fragile and vulnerable one at the same time.
This page began because my beloved brought me a bunch of rosebuds (from Aldi) which are mainly white but have this incredible edge of vivid pink on the petals. "I saw these and thought of you" he told me. Now he's not normally a very demonstrative man, he'll never surprise me by whisking me off to Paris or a posh restaurant, but he has always brought me whatever flowers he could afford ... I think that makes me lucky after 30+ years, and I wanted to celebrate that. It isn't one of my best, arty pages, but its about something real which makes me feel warm inside.

OH GOOD GRIEF ....!

2011-08-02T17:52:00.004+01:00

This was a very heartfelt page made after my beloved had had to cut up my food for me! I admit it, I panicked a bit ....! It's hard not to mind about increasingly losing your independence, but I managed to laugh about it eventually, and making this helped. I'm rather pleased with it as another step in my progress as a Promarker user, as I learn how to combine colours and do shading.
But it started like this - inspired by some work I saw in Stampington's Art Journalling magazine. As before, the work is prepared in black and white and only then is colour added. It's something that doesn't quite come naturally, but I have been pleased with the experiments I've undertaken so far. As you can see below, I didn't complete the whole page without colour, but added it here and there as I went along.
Its funny but colouring around the journalling and drawn shapes is actually easier, so this might be the way I'm going to go. Working like this and developing my drawing skills seems to be pressing my buttons anyway, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it!
And this is the finished result - it seems to work really well leaving some white space around things, which is just as well because the pens do bleed somewhat on this watercolour paper. They come through to the other side as well, but that's OK because I always glue two sheets together to make a thicker base to work on. Even then it can still come through a bit, but I've learned the hard way what techniques will and won't work on the reverse of one of these.
I'm looking forward to doing more pages like this anyway. Does anybody know of any Promarker tutorials or classes you can go to - there must be so much I need to learn about these.

A BIT RANDOM REALLY ...

2011-07-30T11:13:00.006+01:00

If this page looks a bit different that's because it IS. I was having a go at a new way of doing things and the result is a bit random but I might well do it again ....
Looking at someone else's journal (duh, I forget whose) I realised that they began with all the writing and drawing FIRST, and then laid down colours around this. It made perfect sense except that that's not how I've ever done it. So I thought I would have a go and the above is the beginning of the process.
Then as you can see above I put some basic colours on the page using my Caran d'ache watersoluble crayons. It did feel very odd to be working around my drawings and at first I tried to do that colouring within the lines thing, before realising that I really didn't HAVE to, and in fact it looked better with some white space.
And of course I couldn't be doing with the empty bits in the middle so inevitably added some more stuff, although you can see that what I've written is more about what I was doing than a deep reflection on the meaning of life! Both are legit as far as I'm concerned!
And it was pretty much inevitable that I finished up filling every available inch of space, in my usual fashion. I rather like how wild and colourful it turned out, so this experiment did encourage me to work beyond my usual tidy boundaries! It was odd to work in what is, for me, the reverse way of doing things - I usually lay down a background colour first - but I did enjoy it. I can see that working this way gives me a lot of control over the relationship between what I write or draw and the colours around that, so I'll probably use both techniques in future.

MUSINGS ABOUT HOME ...

2011-07-24T13:33:00.005+01:00

This page began in my head when I was in the middle of writing a sermon, and had turned to my journal for rest and distraction. The text for that day had to do with the stranger and the alien, which got me thinking about home ...

I used a page I had previously prepared with a Distress Ink background, adding Promarker and fine black pen doodles, and something which made me think of the roof of a house. I got this far and still having the sermon themes in my head, realised that home is nothing to do with houses, or indeed bricks or mortar at all! That's when I wrote ... "where can I go from your presence".
So that's what the page turned out to be about - which wasn't what I'd intended, but it often works out that way ... so I added a lot more reflection around the ideas uppermost in my mind. I was also thinking about those words which describe God as a "strong tower", so that's why my house has bricks (I think that comes from a hymn, but can't remember).
However, lest you think me very holy indeed (as if) I'm bound to admit that the reason I write all this stuff down is because I often forget these truths, and need to be reminded of them! If I could always remember them I probably wouldn't need to journal at all!!

SCARY DEMONS

2011-07-21T13:23:00.003+01:00

We all have scary demons that keep us awake nights - right? Well lucky you if you don't, but I do! But I have found that from childhood monsters upwards, things are more frightening when you allow them to grow and become huge in the dark. So my policy has been to bring fears into the light and take a long hard look at them. Somehow they are almost always less scary when you do this, and just occasionally they disappear. That's what I was trying to write about here.

I was also trying to be more adventurous with colour sprays, but ended up with a background that was truly vivid but a bit dark for writing on!
This page makes me smile whenever I look at it. I don't think of myself as brave - I'm prey to all kinds of fears and worries, as we all are. But I do try to overcome these things. It even works sometimes ....

IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST .....

2011-07-17T17:37:00.004+01:00

I've been poring over the latest edition of the Somerset Art Journalling magazine - so full of inspiration you hardly know where to start! Anyway, I wanted to challenge myself to try some new things, or techniques I hardly ever use. I took inspiration from Joanne Sharpe and her use of black line on sections of vivid colour.

But first I did this ..... I stuck down a sheet of torn text, then gessoed over it , before adding patches of paint colour. I knew I'd want to draw around the colour panels so thought about the shapes I was laying down. Some of the colours were deeper than I really wanted, so I experimented with lifting some of it off, sort of blotting it with a baby wipe. It seemed to work.
Then I set to with a really fine pen to doodle around - this part was fun! I am conscious that this owes a lot to Joanne's style, but I like this technique and hope to make it my own on future pages.
And this is what I finished up with - rather more space than I usually leave, but that's what Joanne's pages are like and I wanted to make myself do it! It was a struggle but ....
While I like the finished result it isn't quite "me" somehow, but I learned a lot doing it that I'm sure I'll take on into future pages. That's the whole point of trying out something new isn't it, and why I never ever mind if people are inspired to use my pages in their own journals - we all take from one another and a variety of sources don't we? Still, if you do, a mention is always nice ....

By the way - thank you so much to all of you who responded to my last post! You've let me know that what I always hoped is true - that the things I do in my journals resonate for you also, both the ideas I write about and sometimes the techniques I use. If I am ever able to inspire or encourage someone else's art journey, that's what I do it for.

I'M SO PLEASED WITH THIS ONE

2011-07-13T16:47:00.005+01:00

Well I probably shouldn't say that (blowing one's own trumpet being generally frowned upon) but I AM pleased with this - which turned out exactly as I wanted it to. Can't say that very often!! A couple of weeks ago I wrote this "psalm" and wanted to include it in my current journal. I knew that (unusually for me) I'd need to do a double page spread, so began with this Basic Gray paper as a background. Being so focused on the motherhood of God idea, I wanted to express that visually, so began to sketch a pregnant mother ....
Then I started to give her some colour and (I hope) personality. I used my Promarkers here - I'm loving them more and more as I slowly learn how to use them to best effect, and must also say that they're wonderfully fast. Now that might not be an important attribute to everyone, but to someone with a sieve brain such as myself it means I don't forget where I was trying to go while I'm doing it!
The next stage was to write out the words and gradually add more decoration. The gold pen I used here seems to add a whole new dimension, and I used some more of that fine gold mist too but you can't see that here - it gives the figure a very slightly twinkly look.
Then it was time to start working on the other side - again by writing out the verses, and I knew I wouldn't have room for much more illustration. Focusing on the words allowed me to see how much space would be left for decoration, and once I'd drawn the leaves and flower I went back and added some of these to the left hand side to link it all together.
And this is the finished product, and as I said for once I'm very pleased with it. Some days I like what I've done, and others I don't, but then just occasionally I pull off something I didn't think I could do .... and this is one of them.
You may of course be happy with the image of God as Father, and the idea of mother might seem positively alien? Both are entirely legitimate, since God is neither male nor female, but we can find understandings of God's nature in the best of human nature and experience, whether of men or women. There is a redemptive aspect too for me in a motherly God, since my own mother was pretty deficient in that direction ....

Please tell me if you like it, or how you respond (or not). So many of you follow but so few comment, and sometimes its just nice to hear from you and remember that you're out there! I'm grateful for all feedback.

NOSTALGIA .....?

2011-07-10T11:08:00.005+01:00

My Dad is presently in hospital north of here, and his flat is all of 50 yards from the house where I grew up! Going there has meant travelling a lot of old roads familiar from childhood - everything looks so much smaller now, and of course some things are gone or irrevocably changed. Don't get me wrong, about the only thing I liked seeing again in this run down beach resort was the sea - watching the tide again caught me unexpectedly and powerfully in a place I didn't know I'd missed. This page is the result ....
I began with a water spattered Distress Ink page which made me think of a big sky, and bordered it with strips from my home-made collage sheet (made from patterns cut out of a house magazine for those who missed it). There was much about the town that was, as ever, a little bit lurid and gaudy, and these bright colours caught something of that. Most of my pages begin with a word or short sentence, and that's what happened here.
And then my nostalgic mood deepened into other regrets ... that in 36 years of marriage we have spent only the first four by ourselves, and have had a parent living with us since before our girls began to leave home. I feel guilty about it, but we do find ourselves longing for a time when it will be just the two of us ... and a lot quieter than it is at present. Maybe you have to acknowledge such feelings now and again, before you can tuck them away again and get on with dealing with reality?
So it turned out to be all about space and light, both physically as well as with and for our souls. Strange isn't it, how this deep longing welled up in me and found expression here? That's one reason why I love art journalling so much - its often a healing process of working through things, and sometimes, as here, you sit down to do one kind of page and end up with something quite different which needed to be looked at and acknowledged.

And right now, yet another parent needs my time and (limited) energy, so it all has to go back in the box, though maybe, just maybe, there's a little less of it than there was to cram back in .... and one day, soon, we're going to take off for the coast and find something there for a few hours that I now know I need.

2011-07-07T14:04:00.002+01:00

While I was having trouble getting pictures to upload to my computer, I did a few pages without taking stage photographs. The one above has a Distress ink background and used all kinds of collagey bits, including some washi tapes that I'm learning to love. Actually this might even be a Tim Holtz tape ... I've got both.

The page below uses a soluble crayon background, done in the layers I'm so fond of (I've done a number of pages like this). It all began with that coloured snippet which says "tomorrow" and went from there ....
Lots of Promarkers used here - I'm really getting to like these and find them very versatile. The fact that they tend to bleed through paper isn't a problem because I always stick two pages together anyway.

PEACE COMES DROPPING SLOW ...

2011-07-03T12:10:00.003+01:00

A very talented blog-friend, Jackie Cardy, is sort of responsible for this page. Do visit her blog to see the amazing felt and embroidery pieces she creates. One of her recent ones was on the theme of Peace Comes Dropping slow ... and after she mentioned it I couldn't get the phrase out of my mind. Its from a poem by Yeats "The Lake Isle of Innisfree", and I've always loved it. This is the middle
verse ...
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a-glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.
Anyway, this was a page I'd already prepared and the pinky purples seemed just right for the "veils of morning". The background is done with my trusty Caran D'Ache crayons and I added the flower with Promarkers, which to my delight take really well on this surface. I'm using these quite a lot now, and apart from the smell really like them!
With no particular plan in mind I just began to write the poem out - wish I could do beautiful calligraphy which would do the words justice - and generally just doodling around the spaces. Working on this took me to a wonderfully peaceful place which felt like a gift and a blessing.
The leaves were also inspired by Jackie - because her pieces are composed of leaf shapes, and that seems right somehow. The vision of peace seems to go with the idea of gently dropping leaves, and things in their due time and season - very much on my mind at the moment.
I'm more pleased with this page than I have been with any for some time - it somehow catches what the poem was saying to me, and it will be good to revisit this when I'm feeling rather less than calm and serene....

So thank you Jackie for your continuing inspiration - isn't it wonderful how artists can touch one another and bring out things you never knew were in you??

FIERCE TIGER ...

2011-06-28T09:57:00.003+01:00

This page started with me messing about with Distress Inks - then splashing water on the page which gives a lovely effect. It works best if you let the inks dry thoroughly first. I found this tiger lady among my stash of Artchix collage images and it reminded me how fierce I can get if anything hurts or threatens my daughters (and one of them was very poorly recently). The thing about motherhood which most amazed me was how much I wanted to protect them - from anything or anyone, especially when they were little. I used to tell them that I would fight tigers for them - this being significant because in childhood I used to have a recurring nightmare about an escaped tiger coming to get me. So tigers are the scary monster for me, but I knew I could be (uncharacteristically) brave in the defence of my children.
So I started to journal about that - then for some reason (it must have made sense at the time) this lady's stripy swimsuit seemed a bit tigerish too, and anyway she's shaped like me, so in she went!
And of course (you know me) I have to fill the pages up with all sorts of doodles or little extra comments - I even added my tiger claws at the bottom of the page.

For a while I thought that, as the girls grew older (and could fight their own battles) this sense of fierce protectiveness had faded. I was wrong. When one young man broke my girl's heart - well let's just say that if he'd come round here I'd have torn him limb from limb. That same daughter is 30 plus now, and the others in their late twenties, but just let anybody make them cry and WATCH OUT for tiger mummy!!

SOMETHING SMOKEY ...

2011-06-25T11:00:00.002+01:00

I can see that this page doesn't look very exciting at first - its just a plain pink sheet of paper I had left over and a label I was about to throw away ... then I looked at it more carefully. I know its supposed to mean fire retardant or something, but I saw it as cigarette resistant, or lighting up resistant! That's because I'm a reformed smoker, which in my book is something to celebrate since I stupidly persisted with it for far too long ...
So this page became a celebration of that - almost 10 years to the day (4th July) and its something I'm really proud to have beaten. For the first time I used my home made collage sheet to make the bunting edge - I'm really pleased with how this turned out!
Then I decided that less is not more, and gave it some more bunting and (radically for me) wrote up and down the spiky edges. I haven't been drawing much lately so enjoyed adding the puffing chimney too ...
And this is the finished page - an unashamed celebration of my own achievement. It was easier than I thought it would be in the end. Now when I pass smokers having a puff outside an eatery or office I feel genuinely sorry for them. As a non-smoker I also quickly discovered how BAD it smells, and was mortified to realise what I'd been inflicting on people all those years ... Never mind, better late than never eh?? I've been told that after 10 years your lungs should have fully recovered, so am tooting my own horn and shouting from the rafters that yes, it CAN be done, and you've nothing to lose and your freedom to gain!!

BIT OF A RANT ...!

2011-06-21T16:53:00.003+01:00

I'm back! .... thanks to a new gadget called a card reader which means that I can once again upload photos from my camera. I was reading a magazine (a pretty rubbish one) waiting somewhere the other day, and an article asked "would you have a facelift"? I was pretty cross about this question, since it was asked on the basic assumption that all the readership would eventually aspire to such a procedure. Gggrrrr, red rad to a bull - which prompted this page.
I'd prepared it ahead with an offcut of scrapbook paper, and then laid Tim Holtz tape across it, and decorated the panels with blue lines using my water soluble crayons. The face is, of course, a Stampendous image which has always reminded me of me .... especially when in a grumpy mood! But honestly, the suggestion that I would WANT to embark on major surgery just to have my perfectly normal 50-something face tidied up to someone else's idea of what it should look like made me want to ROAR (you know that thing - I am woman, hear me roar). Even if I could afford it or was that vain ... I still wouldn't do any such thing! I'm proud of the way experience has shaped woman I've become and think our society should value that. I won't be having bags of silicone shoved up my chest either, and as for shaving my pubes .... get real!
Sorry to be quite so grumpy, but honestly ... this sort of rubbish makes me want to break into very unladylike language. My face has lines from a life well lived, and that's normal for a mother and grandmother like myself. I'm proud of that, not ashamed of it, and so should you be!!

Phew, now I need a lie down with a stiff drink ....

I'LL BE BACK ....

2011-06-11T09:44:00.004+01:00

... but alas not until I've sorted out the problems with my camera, because right now I can't upload any photos from camera to pooter. It doesn't seem to be the camera, and I suspect the most likely culprit is the lead so have ordered a replacement. If its the pooter or the software I may be gone some time while I save up for new stuff ....

In the meantime, here's one of the pictures I did manage to load - of a home-made collage sheet which I've used with great success (but unfortunately can't show you). I was about to throw away a house magazine when I noticed that its pages were full of lovely bright prints and fabrics. So, to cut a long story short, I snipped out lots of colour and pattern and pasted all the bits onto an A4 sheet, which I then colour copied on my trusty 3 in 1 printer. I've mainly used the result cut into strips as borders, but can see all sorts of possibilities and will definitely be making more sheets like this.

DID YOU THINK I'D LEFT THE COUNTRY??

2011-05-31T17:40:00.004+01:00

I hadn't gone anywhere but my camera had decided to have a funny 5 minutes and pictures weren't uploading from camera to PC. I've fiddled about and reloaded the software, but it still wasn't working, though after some days I eventually managed upload these direct from within Photoshop Elements.

I had the most brilliant day on Saturday - went to my first ever art journalling class at Art from the Heart (what a FABULOUS place) for a session on mini art journals with Kate Crane. We did all sorts of backgrounds and techniques, and I worked well out of my comfort zone - which was exactly what I wanted. I'd begun to feel as if my pages were getting a bit "samey" and wanted to be jolted out of my rut. All of the pages are about 6 x 4, so much smaller than my usual A5, and they are all done on a gesso base with acrylic paint. Now I don't normally like paint very much - it dries to a chalky finish which makes my teeth itch, but I got around this by giving them a coat of matt acrylic varnish when I got home.
The first challenge for me was using more than one colour!! I'm terrible like that, if I start with a blue I keep reaching for other blues, I'm a bit of a monochrome girl ... But look, not only more than one colour but two completely CLASHING colours, pink and orange, which it turns out I absolutely love, but would never have put together left to myself. These are the only pages which have any writing on at present.
We used masks and stamps, and techniques like using the edge of a credit card to add white or dark grey lines, or a bottle cap to add circles. All this was completely uncharted territory for me. Those who had a look at my journal exclaimed over how neat it all was, and I had to say "yes but I'm trying NOT to be"!!
This last is the one page I don't like very much - at least, the background is OK but I'm not a bit happy with that awful picture which looks a bit like that Beckham person don't you think?? And will I use all the new techniques I've learned from now on, or go back to my old ways. Not sure ... watch this space!!

IT WASN'T A GOOD DAY ...

2011-05-23T17:58:00.003+01:00

You may detect a modicum of self-pity creeping into this journal page .... OK I admit it, I was wallowing a bit! Am being determinedly Pollyanna-ish now however, and resolutely upbeat. Unfortunately I made this on a day when I was feeling a bit blue, which might be why I picked these papers with their cool blue/green colours. The figure is a stamp by Paula Best that I watercoloured - I use this image a lot - and the script is torn tissue paper.
Then I found the words "blue moon" in a magazine I was cutting up, so that was when I added the moon face as well. What can I say, sometimes you can only journal the mood you're in, and I suppose I will look back at these early weeks in our new home and smile when I read these words. I was rather helped by reading somewhere the question "will any of this matter in a year's time, and if not why are you worrying about it?" That put everything into perspective!

SCOFFING THE CHOCS

2011-05-17T15:10:00.004+01:00

You probably already guessed what was going on here ... and you'd be right. It was one of those days when only chocolate will do, except that we didn't have any. Then himself remembered the box he'd won on the tombola, which were milk not plain, so not his kind of thing at all. Needless to say I did a pretty good job of polishing them off (therapeutically necessary) and for some bizarre reason kept all the little labels off their wrappings. And that's what led to this page, made up of paper scraps onto which said labels could be stuck. I really like cutting up paper to make borders and so on, which also had the double advantages of a) being ecologically sound and b) using up some of the scraps I tend to shove into boxes rather than waste them.
Anyway, this turned into a sort of confessional about the chocolate, which may or may not have also been therapeutic. I didn't actually feel guilty about it even if I should have! So please tell me you do this too, or I shall begin to question my sanity. If God hadn't meant us to eat chocolate in desperate handfuls when the going gets tough, well she shouldn't have invented it. Right?

Rosie's Roses

2011-05-14T10:41:00.002+01:00

This is just a quick post as I believe Blogger has been misbehaving and eating all sorts of posts - it has certainly gobbled up some of my comments on the last post, but I thank you for them whoever you are/were.

I was feeling particularly grateful for Himself the other day when I made this .... no of course its not always like that, but often enough for me to feel like a very fortunate woman. Some days of course he is a total pain in the rear end, but I'm used to him so will be keeping him. I couldn't break a new one in now. Obviously I never annoy him or anything like that. Actually, sometimes I tell porky pies .....

DON'T JUST SIT THERE ...

2011-05-12T15:18:00.000+01:00

Don't just sit there ... was one of those times when I needed to send a message to myself! These journal pages are always about talking to myself, or talking myself into (or indeed out of) something - I get a lot out of the reflective process that journalling involves. Anyway, on that particular day I was conscious that an unhealthy degree of self-pity was going on, so I was doing a "pull yourself together" sort of exercise. This page began with a sheet of paper which I think looks like a cracked paving slab or something. Being grey and cracked it spoke to my low mood, but I immediately attempted to counter this by sticking down a big red spotty heart, to brighten up the page (and me)!
Then I gave myself a good ticking off, as above, to the effect that it was necessary to put yourself out there if you wanted to make friends and get to know the new area. Sitting inside, even in my lovely pink studio, wasn't going to make any of this happen! Nor were interesting, creative and largely available people going to beat a path to my door (and even if they did the doorbell is too quiet and I can't hear it). It was up to met to get the ball rolling ...
Then I cut these big red letters out of paper and outlined them in black. I wanted them to say DO SOMETHING, but as you can see there wasn't room, so I settled for "take action" which took up less space. Then in my usual fashion I fiddled about and filled up all the gaps with more writing, arrows etc and a few pictures which seemed to fit. The page complete, lecture to self delivered, and thus fired up,I knew what I needed to do - get out there, meet people, join something etc etc. DO SOMETHING!

And do you know what .....? It was raining out there and I couldn't be ar**ed, so I continued to sit inside feeling quite sorry for myself, and of course nothing changed. You just can't help some people can you?? Naturally, all charming and interesting arty people who come to my door and invite me to be their friend will be made very welcome. Just don't expect me to get out there and go looking ... or at least not until it stops raining!!

I TRY TO BE A NICE PERSON BUT ...

2011-05-06T13:50:00.003+01:00

... well as you know, some things just make you mad - right? I made this swooshy background some time ago, and you could tell I was feeling a bit thunderous by the way I added (using Promarkers) a deep purply border and some doodling.
One thing led to another and (having tried to put a more positive spin on things) I decided to simply record how cross I was feeling. A journal has to be an honest reflection of your life doesn't it, and while I hesitate to reveal myself as a cranky old bat, what the hell I thought!! Can't be all sweetness and light the whole time, or even most of the time ...
To cut a long story short, visiting daughter had rather taken us for granted which seriously brassed me off at the time (it seems utterly unimportant now).
Anyways, as you can see, I got some negative emotions off my chest, and it did indeed make me feel a lot better. Said daughter is a delightful, funny, talented young woman whom I love dearly and am very proud of, but she's not perfect. On the other hand, neither is her mother.
Does you get to get your bad temper down on paper doesn't it? I'm already looking back at this page and feeling more inclined to laugh at myself than anything else ...

THAT WEDDING ...

2011-05-01T13:30:00.005+01:00

As it says ... I do love a good wedding, and you must admit that it was! Not a dry eye in the house. Us Girls watched it from 8.00 am wearing our plastic tiaras, waving our flags, in a room decorated with bunting and paper chains. Later Himself made us a gorgeous lunch of salmon and strawberries, and we drank Bucks Fizz! A good time was had by all, and so in thoroughly patriotic mode I set off to make a journal entry ...

I found the bunting (ie triangular Union Jacks) online - if you don't already use Google Images do try it, you'll discover everything you ever needed there, and more besides! Incidentally that was where I also found delicious details like the bit about sprigs of myrtle in the bride's bouquet, and what Prince Harry said to Wills when Kate came up the aisle. The page started with a sheet of red paper (well the backside of some that I was never going to use) and went from there.
It just seemed a very happy and positive thing to record - I still remember what we did for the wedding of Charles and Di! Often my entries are about things I'm uncertain or unhappy about, so its good to be writing about something cheerful ... and one day, when the grandchildren inherit the journals, they'll be glad I did! I may be taking too much for granted here?

So here is the record of the day in all its glory. Us Brits don't often go into full patriotic mode, but we do big posh Royal ceremonial terribly well, don't you think? Hope you had as nice a day as we did. Himself was in Bah Humbug mode throughout, so was perfectly happy to be relegated to the kitchen, and attacked some of our brambles during the afternoon. But bless him, he then manfully sat through the evening TV programme which was a re-run of the whole event, and managed to stay awake too!

LUCKY ME ...

2011-04-28T09:27:00.003+01:00

Well I'd woken up this morning feeling a bit sorry for myself - making friends in a new place is slow and our new life not yet established. Then I look at these pages made just a few days ago and am reminded that this is nothing worse than a down sort of day, and that actually I am .... as the page says, very lucky! That's Pollyanna's thought for the day then. This page started with a sheet of Basic Grey paper - I love these backgrounds they do, just perfect for journalling on. I use papers some of the time to strengthen the pages of this book, which aren't that strong even with two sheets stuck together. Then I set to with another of the gorgeous Artchix collage sheets Helga sent me - love those vibrant pinks and the leopard skin I'm always threatening to take to wearing (daughters would disown me)!! At this stage I genuinely had no idea what I was going to write about, but then I put the words "I'm so lucky" on the big house shape, and I was off!
And then (as you can see) I just sort of wandered all over the page doing what comes naturally ... which is why I tend not to prepare pages ahead, that doesn't really seem to work for me at all in what is a truly organic process. More often than not I don't know what I'm going to say when I begin a page, say how can I know what images will work?
And then when I've said everything ... I fill up the gaps (can't seem to allow blank spaces anywhere - is that a character defect??) with doodling. Its just so relaxing doing that - I let my mind drift off, usually on the subject I've been writing about. That's why I love art journalling so much - for me its such a reflective process.
But the truth is that I'm wishing I could recapture the spirit of thankfulness in which this page was made just a few days ago. Now I seem to be cranky and out of sorts. Maybe I'm a bit tired, it certainly can't be the weather which is gorgeous and sunny, if a bit nippy out. Actually I do know what it is - I need friends to ring up or press my doorbell and for weeks now almost nobody has (except for church business anyway). We do have plans for tomorrow's Royal Wedding and I've got all sorts of secret bunting, flags to wave and plastic tiaras to wear stashed away for a surprise. But the truth is that spending the day with two old ladies isn't quite how I'd imagined it ....

OH STOP IT! Pull yourself together Rosie, STOPPIT with the self pity, and remember how very VERY lucky you really are ....

THIS JOYFUL EASTERTIDE ..!

2011-04-24T09:09:00.005+01:00

I love the images by Artchix and use them a lot in my journal pages, and Helga was kind enough to send me a parcel of goodies from the shop to play with! You can imagine how thrilled I was when this package of loveliness arrived ...

I particularly like the eco products, so set to work on an Eco Shrine (see below) as an Easter gift for a very dear friend. There are three in a package, and Helga sent me other sizes, so expect to see more of these! This one is approximately 5.5" square, so just a nice size to sit on your desk or a windowsill.
Anyway, I was in full "vintage" mode - although I do love colour, sometimes these shades of browns and blacks just speak to me, and when you add the GOLD of the German scrap, it really zings!
The central image is one I particularly like - someone took the face from the Turin shroud and gave it colour and life, which makes it even more powerful. It really speaks to me, and I find it rather special and somehow moving. Its the absolute serenity of it I think? I do know of course that we can't know what Jesus looks like but .... this is NOT a graven image or anything!
And of course, I had to decorate the back as well - just very simply to keep things neat! How do you like my new stamp?? My friend should have received it now, so I hope she likes it. A very joyful Easter to all my readers!

SOMETHING DIFFERENT ....?

2011-04-20T16:57:00.002+01:00

I have been doing parts of the online course "21 Secrets", although I admit to not being entirely thrilled by the workshops I've done so far. Anyway this particular one "Me and My Shadow" attracted me because it got you to think about your public face and your private darkness. So for the first time I set out to make a double spread in my journal on that theme. I began by doing some stamping on the page - one side flowing and lovely and the other sort of spiky and difficult! You can see where I was coming from ....
Then I added some colour using Distress Inks as a wash, then a bit more stamping and some doodling as the fancy took me. The next stage was to produce two images to represent me ... which I found a bit of a challenge! My approach was to draw two heads side by side on watercolour paper, and then to make subtle changes between the two ... not sure how successful I've been, but gave it my best shot! I used my Promarkers for this part and haven't quite got the hang of shading with these - must try and find a tutorial on this, because my methods are distinctly hit and miss (these are actually the second attempt)!
At this point I left the pages for a day or two, before I began writing, but eventually it flowed. The funny thing is that what I've produced doesn't quite feel like me - doing them as part of a workshop and "to order" has meant that they're mine but .....
Darn it I'm not sure what I mean really - but I don't think left to myself that these pages are really my style, they feel a bit forced rather than natural. Hey ho, you live and learn.

PINK AND STRIPY ....

2011-04-17T12:17:00.003+01:00

I made this stripy page some time ago using my water-soluble crayons but then didn't do anything with it for a while, until I encountered this quote in a newspaper and just had to journal about it.
I find that extra-fine Sharpie pens (among others) write really well over the crayon layers, and the bits at the top were just crying out for a bit of doodling, while I thought about what else I wanted to say. I love doing pages like this with the layers of colour - it practically invites you write on them and to build up layers of meaning as you do so.
The stripes and colours here really feel like me, and so does the doodling. I always wish I could do pages which are loose and free, all spattered with paint and layers of paper etc., but that doesn't seem to come naturally to me at all. You might guess that I'm kind of tidy and organised, a bit of a neat freak if I'm honest. Sorry. However, since it's my journal and I get to pick what goes in it (and what I show of it) I shall carry on regardless in unrepentant fashion!
By the way .... Happy Palm Sunday. We had a donkey at church, but it firmly declined to come in even though we wanted it to. Hey ho, the kids all had rides afterwards, which was FUN.

NEW STUDIO - HOME AT LAST!

2011-04-11T10:14:00.006+01:00

I can finally say that I'm settled into the new Studio - a real labour of love, long planned, and now it finally feels like home and the sanctuary I need it to be. This first picture shows you my working space, with a splendid view of the garage!! However you can't have everything, and anyway I plan to be way too busy for much gazing out of the window .... I've got pictures of my lovely daughters, my box of Truth Cards, and all my essentials close to hand, not to mention the restorative coffee in the pink spotty mug! The furniture is all Ikea - two Vika tables - the longest ones available) and a variety of chests to fit underneath.
If I turn to my right this is the view of the door end of the room, where you can see that I've even managed to fit in a small table and an extra chair (also basic Ikea), just in case I can persuade anyone to come and play (working on that already)! Notice the gas fire (result!!) which sits right behind me - the days of freezing in the winter months may actually be over ... You also get a glimpse of the pink bunting I made, thinking the massive expanse of white ceiling needed one final cheering touch. Almost everything is stored in Really Useful Boxes collected over a number of years. Its on the open shelving I inherited with the room, which wouldn't have been my first choice (it means you can actually see just how much stuff you've accumulated, never a good plan) but you have to work with what you've got don't you? One day I've promised myself that I'll have an American style Studio all fitted out with kitchen units so I can hide it all away and make like I've hardly got anything and really need more stuff .... he he he ... good plan eh?
The pink spotty curtains are another cheerful note in the white room - after all to paint the walls pink would have been overkill, right? Yes, that's what I thought too. The light is pretty good in here, the room having 3 windows (even if the main one faces north) and I'll be able to have my daylight lamp up too, whenever I discover the safe place in which I put the clamp which holds it to the desk. Duh, so safe I haven't found it yet.

Over the fire I've hung my noticeboards, one filled with little gifts and reminders of dear friends, and one soon to have parish rotas, lists of churchwardens, and other necessary stuff on it. Below is a picture of my other desk - with the computer and other business-like essentials, and my trusty sewing machine. The first shelf above the desk is dedicated to sermon writing and other churchy stuff, but all my sewing essentials are above, though unfortunately I need steps to get to the highest ones. Hey ho, nuthen's perfect.
In the corner there's a meter cupboard which I'm stuck with, but since its pretty sturdy I put it to good use and hung Ikea bygel rails on it to hold my collection of punches. I confess to actually needing a couple more rails to house them all, but these are essential tools aren't they, and you can never have too many, right? The pink buckets above my desk are Ikea and since this photo was taken I've actually hung them from the window ledge, which helps to keep the worktop clear. At the moment I have my SU inkpad collection in a CD unit to the left of my desk, but am hoping to invest in a purpose built wall hung unit soon.
The Vika drawers on the right of my workdesk (the wide shallow ones) are where I keep my wood mounted stamps - its perfect as I slide out the drawer and can see exactly what I have. They're arranged by theme - people, nature, words, and shapes. My clear stamps are in the A5 ring binders on the Expedit unit to the right, with my papers in the slim 12 x 12 boxes above. In the A4 ring binders I keep collage sheets and my catalogue of stamps - vital if I'm to find anything! The left hand set of drawers contains (going down from top) 1. Distress inks and small items such as eyelets etc. 2. Other ink pads and my collection of acrylic blocks. 3. Tools such as heat gun, cropodile and stamp wheels. 4. Yet more punches, ribbons and tapes, eg adhesive and foam. 5. The bottom drawer contains all the little mini books and albums I've made, such as the Christmas albums I make each year from the Shimelle class.

So that's the full 360 degree tour for you! As you can see the Studio is stuffed to the gunwales with the embarrassingly large amount of stuff I've collected - although in my defence I should point out that it has been the work of many years to accumulate all this. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!! Please tell me if you like my room - I'm rather proud (oh sinfulness) of how it has all turned out, and just dying to have somebody to admire ... ooops I mean SHARE it with!!

Am editing to answer some questions people have asked ... the floor isn't hardwood but is in fact a rather brilliant vinyl which is doing a seriously good imitation of wide oak boards. Nobody seems able to tell that its not what it is pretending to be, and I love the ease with which I can clean up. I did buy a clear floor mat from Ikea just in case the wheels of my chair damaged it, but it doesn't seem to be a problem so far. The lighting is another Ikea fixture with 4 spotlights, of which three are directed towards my workspace (or creation station as my man calls it) and the other onto my computer/sewing desk. Will have to wait and see if this is adequate in the darker winter months, in which case I may replace it with a fluorescent tube - less attractive but more practical. If you have any other questions I'll try to answer them.

MAKING PROGRESS

2011-04-06T11:02:00.004+01:00

Well the new Studio looked like this at one stage in the move - and I thought that wasn't too bad at the time. Unfortunately it got worse before it got better, and I haven't got pictures of the stage when you could hardly get in the room, let alone see the floor - I didn't have the heart to take any! I could have cried to be honest, thinking I'd never get it all sorted out, but that was tiredness.

And it did get worse before it got better (of course) when I had stuff everywhere and couldn't seem to find a home for most of it .... which was the point at which I concluded I might (just possibly) have enough stuff! OK I know that's not actually possible, so let's just say enough to fill my Studio and then some! By the time I took this picture below, the dog could see the rabbit, but I was still struggling to see how it would all fit in. It has of course, but that's a story for another day, when I take the pictures of it all finished and lovely (which it nearly is).
But I did manage to clear enough desk space for a bit more journalling - this is a quote (possibly biblical?) that I came across and it really spoke to me. I'd made a background with offcuts of scrapbook papers, with a patchwork border, and I just got a big brown pen and wrote it in the centre of the page.
It didn't seem to jump off the page quite the way I wanted it to, so I began to outline the letters with a black pen. You can see what a difference that made, although I did get fed up because it took ages to do and I got cramp in my arthrickety hand!!
Anyway, there wasn't much space to add more, which was OK because that seemed like all I wanted to say - its a question I can't answer yet. So this is the finished page and I'm quite pleased with it. I added Bette Davis because the expression on her face reflects exactly how I feel - a bit stunned and confused, but overall doing as well as can be expected .....

MIXED FEELINGS ...

2011-04-02T19:17:00.003+01:00

It's not just me - my other half says he feels the same - we're in a funny sort of limbo and its not a very comfortable place to be. We've survived moving in and after ten days are pretty much unpacked and straight (apart from some unaccountably missing stuff), but it doesn't feel like home yet. The nearest I can get to it is that its like being in a holiday cottage, where you settle in and get your stuff around you, enjoy the novelty, but at the end of the week you go back to your real life! Anyway, the time finally came when I could sit down at my (new) desk and journal about it, and this is what I wrote ...
Himself came in with a cup of coffee (he's good like that), looked over my shoulder and chuckled, saying that he felt exactly the same. Even though the pressure of emptying boxes and long exhausting days is now past, I think tiredness must be a factor because somewhere along the line I mislaid my sense of excitement about this move. Maybe I just lost sight of why we've done it for a while, but if anyone happens across my enthusiasm would they send it back please, because adjusting is kind of hard work without it ....
On a positive note, I met two lovely (crafty) ladies today, the cats have settled down beautifully and even seem to prefer it here, the Spring weather is just lovely, and we've discovered this totally brilliant ice cream parlour! The Studio is taking shape nicely and I'll have pictures to show you very soon ... when I've finally managed to stuff everything in!
Love
Rosie

STILL ALIVE OUT HERE ...

2011-03-28T19:14:00.004+01:00

Well, we shoved all our furniture and stuff (so MUCH of it, I'm embarrassed to have so many worldly possessions!) and headed north. After 5 days we're beginning to emerge from a sea of boxes, although in terms of the Studio it is most definitely a case of trying to squeeze a quart into a pint pot. One day I just wanted to cry because I figured a large amount of it would have to go, but when I looked I simply couldn't spare any of it!! Anyway, things are looking better now although there's still a long way to go, but more of that later - I have been taking pictures and promise to reveal all shortly.

This post is really just to restore my (flagging) sanity, and to share the Truth Cards I made in the last few days before the move when I couldn't really settle to anything more ambitious ....
And yes - they are ATC sized (which is 2.5 x 3.5") but mainly because I happened to have a lot of card cut in that size, but you could make them any size that works for you! I used to LOVE making ATCs anyway, and I get to keep these which is even better!

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS ....

2011-03-17T12:15:00.002Z

And if that's true, I'm not too sure where mine is right now! The old home is in the process of being dismantled, and before too long we'll be in a new (much smaller) one, which will have both advantages and disadvantages ... Unsurprisingly, all my uncertain feelings about this have found their way onto a journal page.
The background is another of my experiments with masks and inky sprays, and the houses are from a Dyan Reaveley collage sheet. I've been working on the principle that "home is where your stuff is" and the assumption that when the stuff goes somewhere else that will very quickly become "home", with all its connotations of safety and sanctuary. There seems to be a small corner of me that isn't too sure about all this, but I'm working on it! Think I'm just too tired and stressed (OK I admit it, pretty cranky really) to be thinking straight right now.
BUT I am excited by the prospect of a new life in a new place, with all the possibilities it might offer, its just that right now there's too much negative stuff in the form of painful goodbyes and basically wrecking and dismantling what has been a much loved family home.
Crumbs this is all sounding like a distinct note of self pity. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN! Hmmm doesn't that sound like a prompt for a new page ....? Did I pack my crayons yet??

ITS GETTING EXCITING NOW ...

2011-03-10T11:41:00.005Z

This is the room which will become my new Studio when we move. I didn't like the (grubby) old carpet and although I do like yellow it doesn't go with pink does it? Anyway, see below for the new improved Studio, complete with new flooring - I wanted laminate but could only afford posh lino, though it looks GREAT! It now boasts spotty pink curtains and once I get my new white Ikea furniture in there I'm hoping it will all come together. Since I have to rest a lot, this will be where I spend the greater part of my time. Not sure about the Ikea spotlights either ... maybe I can find a sparkly chandelier when the sales are on??
After much deliberation I had the walls painted white - which may seem boring but I've got so much pink stuff anything else might have been overkill! Am debating whether to paint the shelving white too - there's lots more of it not shown in this photo. More pictures to follow in a couple of weeks after I get there!

SANITY - ITS PROBABLY OVER-RATED ...

2011-03-04T19:18:00.003Z

In my defence I should point out that most people who are moving house in a little over two weeks are entitled to be slightly on the cranky side - and I was/am, though I am trying to work on that. Bear with me if you can. Anyway, we share our home with my Mother in Law and she is a dear really, its just sometimes ..... and she said something which really, REALLY got up my nose. Either that or everything just got on top of me, but this page is the result of my earnest attempts not to kill somebody.
I did very well - leaving the room sharpish before any bad words could be said, counting to 9 million etc, and I came upstairs to my studio and worked on this instead of looking for a blunt instrument. Its just so therapeutic this journalling lark, by the time I'd finished the page all my anger and frustration had dissipated and I was giggling again. Haven't had any murderous thoughts towards any of my nearest and dearest for at least 3 days now, which under the circumstances probably constitutes high achievement. I'm still alive too, despite probably not deserving to be, which tells its own tale about the forbearance of my family ....
I made the background for this page a couple of weeks back - more of my leftover scrapbook papers. Once I began to work on it I used quite a bit of paint and doodling, and a number of collaged or stamped images, and you can probably see how my pages just sort of grow and develop without any real plan. That's what I love best about this mixed-media lark, is that you can just throw whatever you've got at the page, and it all seems to work out somehow.
I ought to mention here one of my few claims to fame - and not many people can say this - is that I do actually have a certificate to prove that I'm sane (or was). It was given to me when they let me OUT of the psychiatric unit some years back. What evidence can most of us provide that we're basically of sound mind?? Answers on a postcard please ....

AMO, AMAS, AMAT IT AGAIN ....

2011-02-27T19:19:00.003Z

Wouldn't care to tell you how long ago it was that I learned Latin .... but to my amazement I can still decline this one verb in all its tenses! It was obviously lesson one and nothing else thereafter managed to stick. Anyway, this is a journal page I made on a base of Basic Grey paper - love that stuff. It concerns the Soul Restoration course I recently completed - which was so powerful that I wanted to be sure I remembered all the things I learned.
I suppose what I've written is pretty much self-explanatory, though not necessarily the idea of sending toxic people in your life to the moon? I liked that part - and the lunar surface now has a number of new inhabitants sent there from the darkest corners of my life! Send yours there too, still masses of room left.
I also loved the message which told us to "go where the peace is". Such a simple statement yet very powerful, so that's how I'm trying to live from now on. Even in the midst of getting ready to move house it still seems to work - there's almost always a peaceful corner to hide out in for a while ....

WELL YOU SAID YOU LIKED THEM ....

2011-02-20T12:35:00.002Z

You did seem to like the others, so here are a few more Truth Cards - did I mention that I'd made quite a few?? The one at bottom left seems to be a universal truth, at least from the way people respond to it. Funny because it's one of the hardest for me, but maybe that's universal too?

Tired today so am going to treat myself (when I should be doing other stuff) to a couple of hours making some more this afternoon. I find it very relaxing somehow, plus its a way to really affirm that these things are true - somehow it goes into my poor old brain better this way. I keep a sheet of paper on which I write down words I want to use, and then every so often I make another batch. There's a lot of real wisdom out there and how is a girl (even a brave one) to remember all this good stuff otherwise?

TRUTH CARDS

2011-02-17T17:56:00.004Z

Some of you may have noticed that I've recently been doing the Soul Restoration course from the Brave Girls Club? Its meant a lot to me, especially at a time in my life when - preparing to move and start over - I've been thinking a lot about the things I want to take with me or leave behind. Anyway, one of the things the course asked us to do was make Truth Cards, something we could keep to remind ourselves of all the things we've been learning, or already know to be true but so easily forget. This suggestion was a complete gift to somebody who adored making ATCs but could never find enough people to swap with, and besides this way I get to keep what I make!!

So above and below are just a few of the ones I've made so far - the course materials provided some that you could cut out, and I have used a few of these, but mostly I've come up with my own. The result is that these reveal a LOT about me, but I wanted to share because I've found this exercise very very helpful, and its something you might want to do for yourself?
Not only does the act of making the cards and affirming my truths make me feel peaceful, strong and happy, but I now like to get them out regularly and read through them. That's definitely a brilliant tool for remembering the important things that I didn't have before. I made a special box to keep them in, but haven't shown it here because its just a temporary one. Some day I'm going to make a very beautiful box for them, which will show just how important these little cards are (they're ATC size of course), but right now I just don't have time - or a suitable box!

READ THE INSTRUCTIONS ...

2011-02-13T12:30:00.004Z

This is a page background I made a while ago while experimenting with masks and sprays, and then I included a new-found material - Japanese Washi tapes! That pale blue spotty stuff in fact and its like masking tape but decorative, it comes in all kinds of colours and designs, and you can write on it too! What's not to like? Expect to see more bits of tape on future journal pages ...

So anyway, I was actually having one of those "omigod I can't do this, its all too much" days (I'm sure you have them too) and was getting close to full-blown panic mode. Then I sat down and talked myself out of it by making this page of instructions for use at such moments .....
You see I KNOW all this stuff, of course I do, its just that I forget and have to be reminded. Lots of Teesha Moore images here - I love her funky bright style, and it always cheers me up, which was after all the object of the exercise. Why does working through something in your journal really help to resolve your feelings on the subjectt? I can't explain it, but only know that it DOES.
And this is how it finally worked out. With the benefit of hindsight and perspective I can see that I was worrying about not very much, but at the time I was feeling completely overwhelmed. We move in 5 weeks and that's lots of time isn't it? Keep telling me that.

BIG SPLODGY AND PINK!

2011-02-04T14:26:00.003Z

Well what's not to like about that? Right now I need to focus on positive emotions, so even if February is really kind of dark and gloomy ... I decided my calendar pages needed to be cheerful and fun, so pink it is! The first thing I did was splash some pink acrylic paint about - which was deeply satisfying, then I went for my lovely water soluble crayons in purples and lilac.

Then of course I needed to indicate the month in some way, and not wanting to be too predictable I stamped it in the middle rather than at the top. Oooh you little radical you! Well you've got to break out a bit, haven't you, and anyway I've been told I'm getting a bit set in my ways. Putting titles in the middle rather than at the top is just the first step in the process ...
I've got a 1 1/4" square punch which came in very handy for the next bit - when I dived into my scrap paper box in search of pinks and purples, and the odd bit of black. Its very therapeutic to just crunch away with the punch before arranging the results until you're happy with them.
I even had room for a few illustrations as well, and chose to use some gorgeous images from Artchix. I love Helga's muse, this quirky lady who turns up in so many of her images, she makes me laugh every time, and the Artchix collage sheets are just fabulous, I use them a lot. Now all I have to do is make sure I keep up with filling the days in ...
And just in case you're wondering, yes I did manage January and here it is! The Artchix lady features heavily here too, I notice, wonder if she's trying to tell me something??

SEEDS OF CHANGE ...

2011-01-29T16:26:00.003Z

You know, I didn't think of myself as an inflexible person, or particularly set in my ways (although my daughters will tell you that I absolutely HAVE to sit in 'my' chair in the living room, and get quite uncomfortable if I can't)!! On the other hand, our forthcoming move has jolted me in all sorts of unexpected ways, leaving me with mixed feelings about what is, on the whole, a really positive relocation back north for us as a family. Obviously, these feelings are finding their way into my journalling, as I try to figure out where this sense of resistance is coming from.

This page started with a wash of dilute acrylic paint, after which I squirted some inky sprays at the page. I discovered quite by accident that this works best if you let the page background dry first - why did nobody mention that? Anyway, I really like the effects that this gives. Then I laid down my title and my first few thoughts on the subject. I can't remember why I felt moved to add some blotches of greenish paint, I just sort of did ...
I got a bit stuck once I'd finished the writing; I knew it needed something but couldn't figure out what. For once I didn't want to do lots more journalling and fill up every corner! Somehow this was all I wanted/needed to say. Anyhow, there I was searching through my stamp catalogue - which sounds rather grand but is only a ring binder with a sample of each of my stamps - when I came across these seed head stamps, and in a flash of light I saw that they were exactly what would complete the page .
This was relatively quick and easy to put together - I did it all in one afternoon - and yet I'm really pleased with it because it captures exactly the feelings I needed to set down. Reflecting on it now, I'm reminded of that old saying "do not adjust your set, there is a fault in reality"! The problem seems to be that I need to adjust my attitudes and really get my head around living a new life in a new place. Wish me luck with that ....

IT WASN'T ME .... well it was really!

2011-01-25T09:52:00.003Z

If you're not a comfort eater then stop reading right here because this will make no sense to you whatsoever! Confession time, when I'm stressed I tend to hit the biscuits (that's cookies to you transatlantic sisters) and just one simply won't do - it has to be half a packet, a seriously major sugar hit. It feels good at the time but of course there's the inevitable disgust at what a pig I've just been. I like to tackle my failings head on so I thought a journal page was called for. Background is Basic Gray paper, and I had some fun making a border out of scraps and bits.
Drawing the biscuits was fun (Promarkers came in handy there) I started with acrylic paint and added detail gradually. If you're interested (and you are aren't you?) the biscuits in question were those ones from the Co-op in a black box, triple chocolate cookies. They're not bad but the hazelnut ones from the same range are even better. Anyway, I ate rather a lot of these but was in denial on the whole subject ...
Anyway, eventually I faced my demons and beat them down, and like I said - there are worse things to do when stressed aren't there? I could have been unkind to people I love, or kicked the cat, or drowned myself in alcohol ... but all I did was scoff cookies like a famine was about to start. Who cares anyway?

And did it help at all? Well no, apart from a momentary distraction and an energy rush from the sugar, not at all really. Will I do it again? Oh yes, almost certainly .... wouldn't you?

MESSING ABOUT ... WITH MASKS

2011-01-22T18:54:00.002Z

Having (for once) some spare time from curtain making and move planning, I decided to get out some stuff I hadn't had a chance to play with .... namely the new spray inks I got for Christmas and some masks I'd had in the bottom of a box since Adam was a lad! This latter was partly prompted by my resolution not to pack or move anything I don't use ... which means I have to play with stuff to establish whether I really want it or not. Hmmm, think the jury may still be out on this one....
It's dead easy to do of course - just stick the masks anywhere you fancy, protect the surrounding area, get out the sprays and let rip! I do quite like the effect once I peeled off the masks but can't say that it exactly blew me away. Maybe I have to try journalling over the results to see what I really think?
Anyway, thought I'd share these early experiments in case there's somebody out there who, like me, hasn't explored the possibilities of these yet? Like I say, I'm unconvinced right now but will suspend judgement until I've played a bit more .... so watch this space.

HAVEN'T BEEN AWOL ...

2011-01-19T18:56:00.005Z

Sorry, I haven't been AWOL or anything just kinda busy doing an online course from The Brave Girls Club called Soul Restoration, and am I ever loving it! Talk about the right thing at the right time; I spent an unexpected gift of money on it and I'm SO glad that I made the investment in myself. Of course it has meant that I've somewhat neglected my art journal, but this is journalling of a kind anyway. This is the book which I got as part of the course kit, suitably embellished by me ...
We are getting into some deep places so I don't want to share all the pages but am happy to let you see these ... one of the key aspects of the course is the idea of a Truthteller (God basically) and certain truths which always hold good, but we lose sight of sometimes. The course materials include several lists of "truths" and we were encouraged to choose those which 'spoke' to us and make a page using them.
Here they are in close up - there's a particular reason for the bird because throughout the course it represents the Truthteller, which is why I chose to add feathers and nests to continue the theme. Whenever I see a bird's nest it somehow represents a place of safety where you can snuggle up out of sight ... OK, just me then is it?
These pages have deep meaning for me, particularly the Permission Slip which isn't from the course materials but something I encountered the other day and thought was powerful (thanks Ruth)! I think other permission slips may find their way into future journal pages, but for now I am busy with this book, which is a record of the journey us brave girls are making together ....

OMIGOODNESS ITS ... WELL, SCARY REALLY!

2011-01-14T14:30:00.002Z

I can now reveal the secret I've had to keep since before Christmas ... which is that we are moving north, back home in fact in March. Any of you in the Preston area please make yourself known because that's where I'll be and will be needing all the new (and old) friends I can get! Which is where the scary part comes in. When we moved here I was at a crossroads in my life and worked hard to make friends and get involved in activities which would fill the void my job used to occupy ... and I've come to have a host of crafty friends, run a scrapbook crop and card classes etc etc, but now have to leave them all.

So, while I'm excited about the future, a large part of me is very scared ... and that's what this journal page is all about. What did I do for therapy before this - just worked things out round and round in my head I suppose.
So as you can see, on a background of scrapbook paper (I love this texture from Basic Gray) I added a border at the bottom and the word "different", before getting down on paper the basic statement uppermost in my mind ... which is that change is scaring me!
Then I added a scary person (probably me, my friends tell me I do scare people) but the main thing is that I tried to counter my fear with my usual method ... which is look at it square on and face up to it. Nearly every time you find that what you're scared of is not so big or bad as you've been imagining, and sometimes we are just resisting change because we're comfortable! That little arch picture is supposed to be a house, and represent my feelings about home, and as you can see below I added a few more housey images (stamps from Invoke) because I was thinking about old home/new home.
And to finish the job off I added some more journalling in the spaces left over and admitted to the questions which keep me awake at night, and it does work! Once you are able to look at your fears square on it does become easier to deal with them, it really does! Not for nothing am I a member of the Brave Girls Club - courage to me means not so much as absence of fear as a willingness to embrace my fear and do it anyway!!

THINKING ABOUT THE YEAR AHEAD ....

2011-01-08T16:37:00.002Z

Well it's what you do at the beginning of a New Year isn't it? Even though I don't make resolutions there's something about starting over in January that makes you believe that, somehow, this year can be different ...

This page began with a leftover piece of scrapbook paper (I have to use them up somehow!) which is also the source of the stripy border. Like I say, I don't make resolutions, but I started to think about getting to the end of the year, and the things I hope for in the months to come. More like setting hopeful goals if you see what I mean?
I had a lot of fun doodling and generally messing about with this, but its only now that I realise I've done it again - why do I (nearly) always write across the page in straight lines? I could write sideways, or in circles, anything I like, but give me a blank page and I'll automatically work in tidy lines from left to right. Maybe I should add that to my list as a goal - to train myself to think outside the box, and to write in all kinds of different ways? You may have to remind me ....

HOW EFFICIENT AM I ...?

2011-01-05T17:59:00.003Z

I was determined to join in with Kate Crane's calendar project this year, so got myself organised for January in good time! This will be the first time I've done a double page in my journal, and I sneakily made these several pages in - that way if I fail in my good intentions and don't complete the full calendar, I can just pretend these were random pages! Method in my madness you see ...

Lots of lovely Distress Inks on this - mainly Stormy Sky and a touch of Peeled Paint I think, then when it was dry I splodged some water about. The funny little houses are unmounted stamps by Invoke Arts and for the days themselves I just raided my scraps box for suitable colours, and pressed my square punch into use.
And so far I've managed an entry every day, although I have reluctantly concluded that my life is pretty boring as there never seems to be anything particularly exciting to record!

NEW YEAR, NEW JOURNAL

2011-01-02T12:34:00.002Z

OK, I admit it, that's not strictly true ... as I did start my new book on 19th December, but the principle is there! And it is my first posting of a New Year isn't it? Near enough. The background is Distress Inks just smudged around in my usual fashion and then splattered with water, and because this is page one I started writing about what these journals mean to me ...
And then you can sort of see how it grew, as the conversation with myself sort of wandered along. This process is all very unplanned with me, sometimes I do a whole page in an afternoon or sometimes I make a start and come back to it days or even weeks later.
On this occasion I finished this page over a couple of days, and as usual I felt I HAD to fill all the available space! Some of it is blocks of colour and pattern from collage sheets (I was in very pink mode that day, which usually means that I'm happy). It's also pleasing to see that although I'm still writing in straight lines, I have varied things by writing sideways and in blocks - otherwise I tend to just scrawl my way across the page left to right, just because that's what I'm used to! How set in my ways am I getting, its embarrassing!

AT LAST!!

2010-12-20T19:28:00.002Z

OK the mince pies are made, the presents bought and wrapped, so I finally managed to spend time with my journal again. I started this page some time ago but never got any further than this ... and its the very last page in the book too!

So anyway, I added some green zig zags and this writing, and without having to think about it I was off again, just like I'd never been away ....
And as you can see it just sort of flowed from there. Its an internal conversation with myself, trying to remember AGAIN that I really shouldn't worry so much since Herself is in charge of it all. The trouble is that sometimes I forget, and think I have to sort everything out single handed, and then I end up feeling overwhelmed .... Daft really, but I never seem to learn!
But it turned into quite an interesting page really. I should probably have it framed and stick it on my wall less than 6 inches from my nose. Do you think then I would remember? Nah, neither do I .....

STILL AT IT ....

2010-12-16T15:31:00.003Z

... painting and altering that is! I've finished the clock (see previous post) but I'm not pleased with it so it will need further treatment before I'm ready to put it on display! If at first you don't succeed, and all that! However, my bargain buys from our American holiday have all come through much improved - the little candle holder was a sort of deep maroon colour, and I forget what it had written on the side. I gave it a couple of coats of emulsion and a rub-on before putting back the candle cups and one of the stars (which I'd temporarily removed), and then chalk inked the edges and corners before it finally got a coat of sealant. Now I have an item which matches my living room colours but only cost $2!
I was particularly pleased with this little basket, another $2 bargain - it was red, white and blue before and the lid had some 4th of July type picture on it. I painted the red and blue slats in the basket itself and likewise the blue lid, added some ribbon from my stash and a metal star I'd recycled from the candle holder, et voila! It's only tiny this basket - about to the top of the handle - but you know how expensive they can be. The star similarly got a coat of emulsion and another of sealant, and I'm delighted with my budget saving efforts!

Can you believe I haven't done any journalling at all .... life seems to be a long round of mince pies and other efforts towards Christmas, but I have promised myself to get my journal out as soon as I can make time. In fact I may even start work in the brand new one I've got ready .....

BUSY BUSY BUSY

2010-12-08T09:59:00.002Z

And I know its not an excuse for neglecting my blog, but I haven't been busy at the sort of stuff I could take pictures of if you see what I mean. Got a lot on my mind right now and haven't seemed able to settle to anything, but the other day I got out some stuff I'd been promising to alter for ever ... and well, this is the result! I buy bargain items while on holiday in the USA - their wooden blanks and baskets are just so brilliant - and since I'm working towards a interior look which is kind of country style/primitive (think Gisela Graham) all these items play their part. That basket in the foreground is one I must have had for a decade, and it was dark brown with green Christmas trees on it! I painted it cream, then gave it a coat of light woodstain, and it looks better already!

And below is a clock we've had for years - I've been threatening to paint it for a long long time, and now I have! It isn't finished (obviously) but I'm quite pleased with it so far.
So there you are - I may have been AWOL but not entirely unproductive, and I do have a pile of wrapped Christmas presents waiting and my cards are all made and posted! No! Don't hate me, please ...... !!

WICKED STUFF ...

2010-12-01T18:58:00.003Z

This is one of my painted background pages - I still find the chalky feel of them a bit difficult, but am gradually getting comfortable with this medium. Well its just too versatile to ignore isn't it? I love pink and green, so some of my offcuts of scrapbook paper came in handy to provide a border for this page. In case you were wondering, the artistically torn bits aren't actually deliberate - I glued some motifs to the page and then decided I didn't like them, so ripped them off! The effect this left behind was quite nice really!

I'd been listening to a piece on Radio 4 which was discussing wickedness and deadly sins and so on, which had got me thinking about telling lies. Sadly I concluded that I was a simply dreadful fibber because it wasn't possible to be anything else unless you were prepared to go around hurting people all the time. And I'm not!
I just LOVE the pink boots I found to illustrate the concept of "trampling" and managed to squeeze a pinky Artchix lady in the corner too. The printed words are more of my cuttings out from magazines - I love to do that, its amazing what comes out when you try and put cut out words like this together.
And I finished it all off with some stamped flowers and drawn foliage. For once I didn't feel the need to fill every available corner (although sometimes I do go back and write some more on a page ages after its 'finished'). There hasn't been nearly enough time for journalling lately - got things on my mind which have distracted me. That's a shame because really I should be using my journal to reflect on what's going on in my life .... well I would if only there was time!!

LAYERS AND LAYERS

2010-11-23T17:13:00.004Z

I really like making pages with (what I think of as) layers like this ... I just draw the wavy shapes with my water-soluble crayons and work on these until I'm happy with the colours and how it looks. That's a very restful process in which my thoughts can just drift off ...
Then I start to put in some definition - darker lines to demarcate the layers (dark blue paint in this case) and the beginnings of some pattern. I actually got the page this far on just one day, and then left it alone for quite a few weeks until I happened to feel like writing on it. When I did, this is what I wrote ...
Then a couple of days later I added some more as my ideas about what I wanted to say developed. The page came out of some difficult feelings that I was able to work through and resolve ... I love how I can do that through my journal.
It was about another week before I finally finished the writing, after which it was easy to just fill in any spaces. It always seems right to me to fill the page - not sure I can explain why, it just DOES!!

PASSION

2010-11-16T15:45:00.002Z

I got this lettering from an advert in the colour supplements - some kind of spirit is being advertised but it was the lovely white letters on the red background I noticed and cut out!! There are several versions of the ad and the wording is different on each, so eventually I laid everything out on the desk and started to see what I could make out of it. This is the result!

I painted my page black and then set to work, like someone composing a ransom note out of the newspaper! I'm amazed at what came out of this exercise - but then again I shouldn't be really, its clear that something here was meant to be ...

AUTUMN REFLECTIONS

2010-11-10T10:19:00.002Z

Even though I dread the cold weather, I do love the colours at this time of year .... I even like the wild blowy days as long as I don't have to go out in them! Watching the leaves blow outside my bay window is quite enough thank you. This leaf is done with one of my favourite stamps and for once I decided to use my ordinary handwriting rather than the style I usually use for journalling.
I was in the mood for a little bit of reflective colouring, so this page is quite simple and straightforward, but it catches how I was feeling.
It kind of reminded me that I could waste some perfectly lovely Autumn days in dreading the cold ones to come, instead of appreciating what IS, right now .... do I sound like Pollyanna? Hope not. Bah Humbug!!

BREATHING UNDERWATER ...

2010-11-03T16:50:00.004Z

This title was one of those journal prompts which I got from my trawling through magazines, and I think it touched a chord because I occasionally have days when I feel so overwhelmed by life, the universe and everything, that its almost as if I can't breathe, or hear what's being said except distantly. My beloved describes it as like wearing a goldfish bowl, but I prefer my way of looking at it. Anyway, that's what was on my mind when I began this page with a distress ink background and a rough border done with water soluble crayons. Acrylic paint takes really well on the top.

Almost immediately I stopped liking the heart I'd stuck on, so I took it off again, which resulted in a rather interesting effect up there in the corner! Did some more work on the self portrait, but I ended up looking grumpy rather than the solemn and slightly confused effect I was after ... well let's face it, breathing underwater would make your face look a bit funny wouldn't it??
What you probably can't see from the finished page (which is less busy than those I usually make isn't it?) is that I've given some of the bubbles a coat of glossy accents which gives a rather good effect - well I was pleased with it anyway.
PS there's a reason why the word breathe is a bit different - it originally was the same as the others until I discovered that I'd actually written "breahe" duh. Not sure I have any talent for drawing fish either, but who cares?? I'm away for a few days now - off to a convention in London for a bit of FUN! May be a hospital case afterwards ...

ONE OF THE BIG GIRLS ....

2010-11-01T16:21:00.003Z

For this journal page I was responding to a challenge from somewhere to block out big splodges of colour as a background. At the time I can't say I enjoyed it as a way to get a page started, but once I got going it did turn into something I was quite pleased with. Not sure I would necessarily use this method again though. Above you can see the colour blocked page, and the first statement that I am "one of the big girls now". It was obvious that there had to be a picture of me to go with that ...
Then in my usual fashion I started adding bits and pieces - and I couldn't leave the photo alone could I, which is why I sprouted pink lipstick and a hat!
And this is the result when I'd finished adding curly doodles, more words, and generally filling up every inch of space! Its not clear to me why I do that (am I scared of too much empty space?) but I always feel more satisfied if the result is nice and busy ... make of that what you will! Maybe its to do with my determination to make every day count - with this illness it would be so easy to just sit about achieving very little? Or perhaps its simpler than that, and it simply doesn't look finished until I've filled all the space? Who can say?

BIT OF A CATCH UP ....

2010-10-29T17:03:00.003+01:00

Somebody reminded me that I needed to show the finished versions of a couple of pages I'd blogged as works in progress, so here they are. Several people commented on the above when it was on my workdesk to say that they admired the background, so this is where I admit the truth that it is actually a piece of scrapbook paper rather than brilliantly original work ... sorry, but there it is. Wish I had made it actually, but I didn't - what I did do is (according to my ecological principles) recycle part of my vast stash of paper offcuts.

However, the page below is entirely my own and I'm quite pleased with how it turned out. I really like making the writing lie in layers across the page like this, as it always makes me think about the layers and strata of the people we are. From the face we show to the world to the deepest most hidden parts of ourselves. The sentiments here are something of a counsel of perfection, but that's no reason not to try to fulfil them is it??

NOT QUITE WORKDESK WEDNESDAY

2010-10-27T09:40:00.002+01:00

OK, I admit it - I forgot to take a picture of my desk, and now I'm rushing out of the door with no time to take one. However, I would have to say that it looks almost exactly like all the other pics I've posted, so instead I'm putting up a picture of the journal page I was finishing and would have photographed on the desk IYSWIM .... If you want to see other desk, get on over to Julia's.

And yes - it's Fat Wednesday again! Many of you seemed enchanted by the concept, and keen to borrow the idea. Feel free, I didn't think of it either, but got it from a fellow WW dieter. So it's the day off again, and we are going out shortly for some 'us' time. Didn't manage an all day breakfast last week, instead we had spicy lamb wraps and a HUGE slice of cake!! This week who knows?? Might have to try the chocolate brownies I looked at last week but didn't have room for! Must nip into Primark for some nice warm PJs too, it's getting a bit cold around these here parts ...

DRAWING MY OWN SPIRIT

2010-10-23T16:48:00.006+01:00

Sorry this is a bit faint, but I wanted to show the initial sketch I put down on the page for this. I had the expression "the wings of my spirit" in mind, and wanted to show a figure just taking flight ...
Anyway, then I began to add colour and movement to her hair and wings - this is done with my Promarkers, which I am slowly learning to love, although I'm not sure they'll ever replace my beloved watercolours.
Then I drew some layers of colour below, more of those striations which represent seams and layers of life and soul, some of which are so very deep. I've got the first statement down in writing but now need some time to reflect on where it goes from here. I'll probably come back to this in a few days, and in the meantime I'm working on other pages. That's one of the things I love about art journalling, that I can just go here and there as the fancy takes me, and that whatever comes is the gift I'm given ....

Oh yes, and I've been chopping up magazines again, so how about these for journal prompts? ...

Download/offload
Well good
The Smart Way
Go see friends
Wake Up
You have somewhere
Song of the Goat
Random acts of literature
Star Quality
Ask Why
Around Sundown
Nothing Compares

THAT OLE WORKDESK WEDNESDAY

2010-10-20T09:49:00.002+01:00

Not doing very good joined up thinking yesterday, so forgot to take a picture. This is the result - a genuine, Wednesday morning, no holds barred, unashamedly the real thing ... picture of my workdesk. Now this looks messy to me, which means I'm not too happy about it. Be fair, I could have tidied it up before I photographed it, but I didn't, pursant to my policy of being fearlessly honest in my art.
And here is the art in question - very much a work in progress, nay hardly started you might say. It's more of those layers which make me think of seams of minerals hidden in the earth, quite appropriate for what I'm trying to write about. Needs more work, but I like to jump about between pages as inspiration strikes ... which it doesn't always!

Off out now to indulge in some "Fat Wednesday" hi-jinks with my old man - this is his day off so it's the day when we ditch the healthy eating etc and go out for something luscious like an all-day breakfast! The rest of the time we try to be good. It works for us. Back later to admire all those lovely desks .... and if you don't know what this means, get on over to Julia's place and join in.

DRAWING THE PSALMS ...

2010-10-17T16:47:00.004+01:00

On my earlier post about my "peaceful" page somebody commented that I was taking a lot on, trying to draw pictures of God! This made me think of that joke about a little girl doing a drawing whose mother told her that nobody knew what God looked like. Her answer was that they would when she'd finished her picture!!

So lest you think that I'm creating graven images and whathave you ... I was actually thinking here about a modern psalm which is one of my favourites, and it begins "I will praise God my beloved for she is altogether lovely". What I was trying to encapsulate was the "altogether lovely" part, I suppose. As you can see above I started with some simple pencil lines, and then below got to work with my promarkers. I'm not very good at the fancy shading with these, but do enjoy using them.
Kept adding more colour, but somehow it wasn't quite right.
So I left it to come back to another time, at which point I coloured the background navy blue, and that's when this page really took off! Unfortunately I was so absorbed in the process that I forgot to take stage pictures, so this is the final result. The photos don't show it very well, but I used lots of gold and silver on this, and in fact all the writing (lines from the psalm) is in gold, and she had threads of both colours woven through her hair.

At the very end I still felt it needed something, so I masked off her face before spraying the whole page with a glimmery gold dust effect. Unfortunately this doesn't photograph very well, but in real life it seems to give the inner glow effect I was after. This is one of my favourite pages so far - actually deceptively simple, but speaking of something which goes deep for me .... I hope you agree that she is altogether lovely!

WOYWW once again ....

2010-10-13T09:18:00.004+01:00

Hi to all you What's On Your Workdesk Wednesday people - and if that baffles you, get on over to Julia's to discover what it's all about! I'm only offering this close-up of my desktop today because the rest of it was/is embarrassingly tidy, which is how I like it. Sorry, but I can't help it, its a birth defect. Anyway, this is what was occupying my pink mat yesterday afternoon, which is (of course, what else) another journal page in progress. I've been following prompts from an online course, which encouraged you to try zetti doodling, which I love, so this is the result.

And there is a relationship in my life which is and always has been very tangled and complicated, so this style really fitted well with my attempts to understand and explain it (I can't). There's a liberation in that at least - admitting that it doesn't make sense and being OK with that.
So I just thought about my mum and doodled madly away and it sort of grew and grew ... This is amazingly relaxing to do, I can really lose myself in funny little spirals and dots, its all a bit obsessive/compulsive really. My tools for this are a variety of black letraset pens from a very fine 0.3 point upwards, and a black sharpie for thicker lines.

And in the end I couldn't resist adding a teeny bit of colour ... not sure now whether I regret doing that or not, but anyway its done. I promise to try and mess up the desk again before next time!!

PEACEFUL PAGE

2010-10-09T09:14:00.004+01:00

This is one of my spiritual pages, in which I was thinking about God as woman/mother (just as legit as Father or male) and I imagined a sort of ageless woman, neither young nor old, whose eyes would be very deep and whose wisdom would show in her face. That's what I was trying to draw here, although I'm not totally satisfied with the result, but you get the general idea. Never mind, I know what I mean!! There's lots and lots of writing here, which starts by going all around the page, mainly quotations from modern psalms which I love. The title is, of course, from Blake's poem ...

Hope this isn't too heavy to share - I wanted to be honest about the things that go on inside me, and not to feel there were aspects of my inner life that I was afraid to reveal ....

WEDNESDAY MORNING! WOYWW

2010-10-06T09:29:00.003+01:00

Good morning WOYWW'ers and to the weekly reveal of the workdesk (if you've no idea what I'm on about all is explained here). Held an Open House at the weekend so the Studio got tidied to an unusually high standard, and I'm loving how uncluttered the desk is - I work better like this! Have gone for the wide view today, so that you can appreciate just how lovely my window is with its view of the garden. As you can see, I keep stamp pads and other basic essentials to hand in the hutch/shelf (which is an Ikea CD shelf upside down IFSWIM). On the top my pink binders house collage sheets and the catalogue of my stamps - nothing fancy, I just stamp an image whenever I get a new one, and note whether its wood or unmounted, and maybe a clue about where to find it ....! It would work better if I went through them all and re-did the catalogue with themes, ie words together, flowers in one section, but I've got so many stamps I come over all faint at the very thought!

If you've had a good look at the desk you may have spotted a just begun journal page and a finished one. These are the work in progress pictures of the finished page ...
I'm pretty sure they don't need any explanation, but they do show the starting point and how I build up from there. Apart from that first question, I didn't really know where this was going.
But as you can see, I got there in the end! Not sure what it is with me feeling a need to fill every available inch? Maybe its not that so much as generally having more to say than I can actually fit on the page, so I squeeze in as much as possible!
Happy Wednesday one and all, the sun is shining (for now at least) so we're off for a spot of retail therapy and lunch, and once returned I'll have a happy time noseying about your desk ...

At last - time to journal again

2010-10-04T17:21:00.002+01:00

I've been having withdrawal symptoms this weekend because I've been too busy to work on my journal, but I managed this page last week. I've admired some comic strip style work in other journals, and this is my attempt to follow suit - not sure I've got it quite right, but am working on it! It was fun to do anyway ....

GOING SOMEWHERE

2010-10-01T14:15:00.004+01:00

This is one of my latest journal pages, reflecting the feeling that I'm clearly meant to go somewhere but I'm just not sure where! The background is a sheet of scrapbook paper which has writing on, but it worked really well for drawing over, and I painted the edges too. The colouring has been done with a mixture of markers and soluble crayons ... anything to hand really!

This page began with the signpost and just grew from there - on this occasion I didn't remember to take pictures of each stage in its development. As you can see, I've been true to the promise I made myself that I would do more drawing, and I'm loving it!

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN ...

2010-09-29T09:17:00.003+01:00

I've been absent without leave for a few weeks from Whats On Your Workdesk Wednesday (WOYWW) but am pleased to report that I managed to remember to organise myself this week (I usually remember on Thursdays) ... and took a picture of the desk on Tuesday! So here it is, and no surprises to find that the desk contains evidence of the art journalling which has now taken over my life! You can also see my Cath Kidston pink spotty mug (present from DD1), my brilliant Tim Holtz scissors which make it possible to cut out with my arthriticky hands, and the fine glue bottle with which I do nearly everything.
And here's a close-up of the page I was working on, and I changed to working in landscape rather than portrait to further illustrate my message about changing your point of view .... subtle stuff eh? There is of course a story behind this page, but let's just say that I learned the hard way ...

And below is the finished page, snapped first thing this morning. If you are also of a nosey disposition and love seeing other people's work spaces, then get on over to Julia's place to see hundreds more ...

MORE PROMPTS

2010-09-25T10:08:00.003+01:00

It's that time of the week when I get my scissors out and do some snipping of the magazines and papers from the last few days. As you know that's been a fertile ground for journal prompts to share with you, and some of them make me laugh so much even if I never actually use them - although you might?

Here's what this morning's scissor-happy exercise produced ...

Find a world
Hidden fees
Loving life
May jump out
Stuff in your garage
No-one will hear
True to Life
Crazed Mishmash
Just what the shrink ordered
Feast your eyes
Dreams of seeing
Getting some answers

So lots there to get your brain cells whirling with activity!! I'd love to know if any of these spark something for you, so do please share any pages that result.
Speaking of which ... I found one which said "get out more" and this was the page which came out of that. It's a subject I often ponder because, being disabled, it's just easier to stay home most of the time where everything is organised the way I can handle it. If I go out I'm immediately reminded of my problems and difficulties, so often I simply stay home. I don't drive any more and just the thought of getting on a bus wears me out! While I do love messing about in my Studio I also know that it's really good for me to get out sometimes and challenge myself physically and mentally.

It might interest you to know that those little houses are stamps by Invoke Arts, and are possibly my favourite set of all time. This page isn't an original in that it was heavily borrowed from one I saw in Craft Stamper which inspired me. I changed it a bit of course so it's mine now innit?

THE CARDIGAN OF HAPPINESS

2010-09-23T17:22:00.002+01:00

This is me in light-hearted journalling mode! I've recorded all manner of deep stuff, but sometimes you just want to write about a small things which happen to be making you smile. I got a new cardigan for my birthday and I LOVE it, so decided to write about it - one day maybe I'll read back and think "oh yes, I remember that cardi" .... just me that has favourite pieces of clothing then?? Started in the way which is becoming usual for me with my water soluble crayons and a drawing of said gorgeous garment.
It isn't one of my more ambitious pages so I didn't bother to record the stages, but here is the finished item. It includes some stamping but not much more than the lettering - perhaps because there didn't seem to be more to say really? You're bound to ask so I'll tell you - my happy cardigan came from Marks and Sparks, and I'm convinced it has magic powers to make the wearer feel happy. It DOES, honest!!

I LIKE DRAWING

2010-09-18T16:53:00.006+01:00

I've been threatening to clear out cupboards in the studio for ages, so today I'm pleased to report that one of them is done and the charity shop has benefited from the process. Still found time to journal of course, and this was one of the backgrounds made from scrapbook paper - where I needed to strengthen a page. I just added a bit of brown around the edges, and then started doodling (can you tell I LOVE doing that) ....?
The clock just seemed to belong and the stripes sort of grew. I didn't actually know what the page was going to be about until I wrote the word sanctuary, and then all the ideas and feelings exploded! Such an emotive word, with layers of meaning connected to safety, needing to retreat, having a space which is just mine etc.
Until quite recently I'd forgotten I could draw, and now it's a joy to be doing more of it. I suppose you can figure out that this little house in a tree is all about a safe sanctuary? Not sure why its in a tree but have to trust my own instinct, and at least I could draw up the rope ladder if I needed to be alone? The way it looks is a bit Hobbit-ish isn't it, but I think if I could design a house of my own that's the sort of thing I would build, with round doorways and windows, and lots of curves instead of straight lines. Did you ever see Ben Law's house on Grand Designs - I really really wanted to live there ...
And this is the finished page - another one I'm really pleased with (I still dislike some that I make). The satisfaction has to do with feeling that I've put down something I really wanted to communicate, and I like the way it looks too. It makes me happy. Like I said, I think I've found my "one thing".

2010-09-16T16:10:00.003+01:00

Thought I would show you the gestation of another journal page. Because the pages in my chosen book aren't that heavy I've been gluing them together, and often I add some scrapbook paper for extra strength. As you can see that's how the background of this page was made - perhaps its not strictly legitimate, as its kind of ready-made, but since I have a LOT of paper scraps I see it as a great way to use them up. The thrifty scrapper strikes again.
I'd had this idea that I wanted to journal about some of my favourite things - you never know, one day my daughters or posterity might be interested? Yes, well. Anyway I had a particular poem by Maya Angelou in mind about a caged bird, and just happened to have some birdcage stamps! I think they're Basic Gray but didn't keep the packaging. Anyway, that was the next stage in decorating this page.
Then I added some soluble crayon and began to write about what the poem meant to me. And finally (below) is the finished page. I like the organic process of just allowing a page to grow like this, and the only part I'm uncertain about is the verse at the bottom where I wish the paper wasn't quite so white. Perhaps I should have used ivory or something? Hey ho, it's done now.
But before I go .... I came up with a brilliant wheeze!! I've never yet used any magazine images etc in a journal page but since they're free(ish) was determined to give this a go. I was cutting up an old copy of the mag Simple Scrapbooks - didn't find much in the way of images but cut out LOADS of titles which prompt all manner of ideas for pages .... eg
Feed your passion
I've seen this before
Try something different
Lose the Mess
Normal behaviour
It's Simple
Dark Horses
Breathing Underwater
Hidden Stories

Does this sound fun or what - try it and see why don't you??

HOW TO ART JOURNAL?

2010-09-12T10:20:00.006+01:00

This post is about how an art journal page is made. Now to me that title feels totally presumptious, since I'm just feeling my way at this and it's quite new to me. But so many people have asked me about it that I thought I'd try to take a series of pictures of the development of a page, or at least mine anyway. One of the things which has helped me a lot is being liberated from the feeling that I have to sit down and finish one whole page all at once, and now I'm more comfortable with just adding a bit here and there until it seems "finished" or I can't fit any more stuff on!! The above page was inspired by seeing something that was made up in similar layers or waves, like strata in a rock, so I used my watersoluble crayons to set down the basic layers.
Then this is what happens when you add water - brilliant isn't it?? I love the transformation from rubbed-on crayon to deep, intense colour!
So then this is the page after I'd added water to all the layers. As a bit of a perfectionist it's been quite hard for me to work from the bottom up in this way, and to take my time about finishing it. The original vision had been about weaving writing and black lines into the layers.
So I got out my black acrylics and added some new black strata, and I really liked the way this gave definition. Bear in mind always that the gestation of this page was over several days, and I kept returning to it and adding a bit more ... yes OK if you like "fiddling" about with it.
Then I got down the basic theme of what I wanted to write about. At this stage I thought there wouldn't be any more writing and just began to doodle in the spaces.
But I turned out to have more things to say, and I added some more circles of soluble crayon to intensify areas of colour I could draw around. I'm not sure I understand why but I seem to have this need to fill up most of the space, and I've found the artist pages I seem to really respond to are those which are full and busy. Funny, because it's not as if I'm scared of space or silence, perhaps I'm just somebody with a lot I'm bursting to say?
And this is the final result - which does actually feel "finished" rather than my just having filled up the space! I really loved making this page and its one of the ones I'm most pleased with so far. Perhaps I've been using too much scrapbook paper in my pages, but then again I like doing that too. I think I like this one so much because of the layers and strata which touches something deep in me, as indeed the whole art journalling thing does. I guess this is how I truly am, a person with lots of layers and strata, some deep and wise, some colourful, some dark, some which are just splashes of colour or doodles, and it gives me great pleasure to have managed to communicate that.

But most of all it seems that, for the first time, my art and SOUL seem to be coming together, and it's a wonderful feeling. I hardly dare to say this but I think I've found my niche at last ....REJOICE, let joy be unconfined!

BEACH HUT

2010-09-05T11:10:00.002+01:00

Went to the local car boot sale last week and found all sorts of great stuff to alter, including this Beach Hut which has a flip-top lid so is very useful storage. I have another one almost identical which is pale blue, but this one had been well loved and was a little bit beaten up, so cried out for "the treatment"!
So .... I took the hinges off so I could paint it, what other colour except pink using a Dulux matchpot, and made the roof black. The whole thing then got a coat of Mod Podge to protect it. I then raided my scrapbook paper offcuts for anything pink - found one or two bits - and set to layering these across the front. More Mod Podge sealed these.

And this is the result! A Thing of beauty and a Joy Forever eh? Haven't decided what to keep in it yet but am sure to think of something! Not bad for a 50p car boot sale find!!

ADVENTURES IN JOURNAL KEEPING

2010-08-29T16:42:00.002+01:00

If you're getting the impression that I haven't done anything except art journal stuff lately, then you'd be almost right! To be fair I have done some scrapping, and even managed to work on some swaps, finish Chapter 6 and make a start on Chapter 7, before "allowing" myself to get back to the journal.

Above and below are some blank pages I made. I never thought I'd want to do this unless I had a specific theme in mind, but it's wonderfully liberating to just tackle a page with an "anything goes" attitude, and sometimes surprising what comes out. The vintage page is a combination of Distress Inks and water soluble crayons, and the one below is watercolour - just a cheap set I've had for years, with a touch of doodling/colouring by way of a border. I find that latter activity so totally restful, and my brain just drifts off and does its own thing ....
And here's a page I finished yesterday, which is a Distress Ink background literally just rubbed over the watercolour paper - gives an interesting texture. Then I started to add a bit of detail with soluble wax crayons in circles, which then turned into flowers and stuff. I was sort of doing this as part of an online journalling class, but ended up departing from the brief. If nothing else it got me trying some stuff I wouldn't usually, which can only be good! Also I was talking myself out of a low grumpy mood, so this is my Pollyanna page ...